Your age & attitude toward it

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I am 25 and feel 25. I'm a non-settled student and have really no ambitions of settling down within the next five years. Some I know of the same age already have children and are married but almost none of them are university students and they have steady employment and are more or less settled.

 

Watch the first scene of Trainspotting, what you people need is some heroin

 

Yeah, that doesn't happen. Although if you have kids you will find yourself hanging out more with other people that have kids, simply becaues you're on the same schedules. Unless you get a sitter, you're hoping to wrap up the evening around 9:00.

As far as decorations go, here's a typical conversation with my wife:

Her: I think I'm going to get new drapes, and I was looking at them on the internet, and I found 4 different ones that I really like. Would you like to help decide which ones we get?

Me: Do they all cost about the same amount?

Her: Yes.

Me: Pick whichever one you like.

End of discussion.

 

This is a nice thread. Reading some of the posts made me think about choices made; past and present!

 

Oooooh, that's dangerous! I've been there before and a lack of interest is not a good thing in my experience. When a girl is asking your opinion, pretend to care even if couldn't care less.

Her: "Do you like this dress?"

I say: "Yeah it's lovely hun, it really brings out your eyes, you look stunning"
(I'm thinking: *Oh man, I can't wait to go to the pub when this ordeal is over*)

Her: "Are you sure? You're not just saying that?"

I say: "Sweetheart, you look absolutely gorgeous, I wouldn't just say that, you know me"
(I'm thinking: *Liar, you say it every time. Can we go yet? I need to talk to my mates about Man Utd's latest signing!*

Her: "Ok, I'll get it then... aww aren't you lovely, I love being able to come shopping with you and spend some quality time together"

I say: "Me too hun, it's nice when we can spend time together like this"
(I'm thinking: *Kill me now.*)


This approach generally results in blow jobs.

 

There are times when you can do that, and times when you cannot. You see, this is the difference between being 27 and 37. You learn to speak femalese. She's not really asking my opinion on the drapes. She knows I don't give a rat's ass what color the drapes are in our bedroom. Feigning interest would be forced, and she'd see right through it. But that's OK, because what she's really asking is "Would you be pissed off if I spend X dollars buying these drapes?" That's why my answer of "If they all cost about the same amount, I don't care," is acceptable.

As you get more experienced with your significant other, you can even pull off answers to unanswerable questions. For example, I have come up with an answer to the question "Do these pants/dress/whatever make me look fat?" without replying with a simple "no". Let's say, for the sake of arguement, that they do. Unless you want to employ the nuclear option, you cannot say something to the effect of, "I can't tell - your ass looks so big, it's blocking out the sun."

What you say instead is, "Not at all, but you look smoking hot in [fill in description of other clothing item] that I don't know why you would want to wear that."

Hey, whatever works, but if you take care of business, you don't need to rely on any smooth-talking to get them.

 

I'm nearing 38, and I feel like ****. Kids gone thanks to ex, no pension, not even a mortgage to give me hope of owning my own house someday, still scraping from contract to contract. I'm not where I thought I would be at this time in my life, and yet I can't see any possible choices I could make at this time that will make it any better in the next 20 years or so.

I'm fricking depressed. Can you tell?

 

Barmy - I think I know why you're damaged goods, that's the type of girl other womenfolk refer to as "egotistical bints"

One of the few annoying things with Kev is he will tell me I look good in anything. Which is sweet, but hardly constructive. It feels false even when it isn't - and it's not like he needs to work for anything intimate

 

TMI people.

 

I'm yet to meet a normal girl who isn't concerned with how she looks, and needs constant reassurance. It's just a girl thing. One's who don't are usually the ugly smelly bints, to be fair (present company excepted of course)!

Different strokes for different folks though int it!

Alders, that's a level of mutual understanding that takes years to reach. I guess that's when marriage becomes easy!

 

What's the formula for not being a "cock" (as you Brits put it ) in this regard?

 

Someone really needs to sit down with this kid and talk about the facts of life. It's whenmarriage gets easy? HA! It's never easy, it just evolves. And it keeps you on your toes.

 

LKD - I don't think age matters that much any longer, not at all. There are others who are in the same spot you are in, and at all kinds of ages. I was in the same spot as well, although a few years younger. My advice [for what it is worth], is keep at it. Just take care of business and put things in place the way you think they should be and it will work out. At least that's how it was for me.

As has been pointed out on this thread, there are advantages and disadvantages to any given life-situation. The important thing, at least in my opinion, is to seize the opportunities you have in the given situation that you find yourself, rather than dwell on the negatives. Take heart.

 

Honesty - constructive, kind, honesty.

There is, for example a difference to saying "that makes you look fat" compared to "That isn't really flattering", being constructive as Aldeth did in an earlier post is also good.

There is as much reassurance in making a right decision as there is in reassurance on her general appearance - for those that feel the need to ask. I generally ask if I look okay because I want to ensure my outfit is more contextually appropriate than needing to know I look good (for example)

If there is a choice of two options state the one you prefer, but reccomend sending a comparison to a female friend if you don't feel up to date on fashion.

If you don't want to go clothes shopping - don't. Arrange to be driver for a girls trip or a similar supportive role where you can then go off and do your own thing for a set amount of time. It will be obvious you don't want to be there.

If something doesn't interest you at least make notes of the basics, I swear if I have to describe what velvet is one more time I may have to smother him with a pillow

On the subject of fashion - DO NOT BUY CLOTHES FOR HER unless you have a best friend/good friend of hers with you who can yay or nay the decision. At best you get the kudos for the sensitivity and thought to get something great. At worst - you have a scapegoat (and the receipt).

 

A marriage is like a deck of cards,
At first all you need is a pair of hearts & a diamond
At the end all you wish for is a F'n club & a spade.

 

That's easy. For a moment there I thought it might be complicated.

Ty.

 

I ignore my age.

The ex-Mrs Bruno had some seriously enormous hips attached to a little skinny body by some mechanism that defied gravity. Towards the end I was more than happy to point out when she wore something that made her look like a pear with wings. Honest is sometimes rather fun.

 

Oh man, you gotta love a woman with some major junk in her trunk.


[Ok I'm a bit senile, how do you get the youtube quotes to work?]
[You almost had it; you had an extra "v=" at the front of the id - BTA ]

 

This is sage advice for any guy - I even took out the caveat of asking one of her friends... Just don't. It's safer that way. Hell, I don't like shopping for my clothes, and guy's fashion hasn't changed that much in 10 years. No way I'm going to buy any clothes for my wife. (She likes it better that way too.)

 

Turned 30 a couple months ago... still get ID'd for booze, movies, bus rides. When they stop doing that I'll grow up.