You know you've played too many CRPGs when...

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Okay, I had a weird dream about NWN last night, so I know I have played way too many. Here's what I can remember...

It started with me at the movie theater watching a movie, about some guys interrogating someone about the location of a drill. Well, before I know it, i'm in the movie (it was a FR setting, and they wanted to know the location of the drill so they could attack Neverwinter because it would blast a hole in between Cordor and Baldur's Gate, weird I know. Cordor is the main town of the server I play NWN online)

Well, I entered the world and was being talked to by Lord Nasher regarding any intelligence about the enemies operations. Well, the guy who was being interrogated comes up and mentions the drill, and Me and four others are sent out on a quest to get to the drill before our enemies. We split up into two groups of two, and I just happen to get paired up with this chick I have a huge crush on

Well, we head off into the forest and we start climbing a tree. The whole time i'm thinking to myself "God, i wish I didn't have a short sword. I want a freaking halberd!" which was a very unrogue comment for me to make. Well, she climbed the tree with no difficulty but no matter how hard I tried I couldn't make it up. After a while I lost her in the dark and started Meowing like a cat for her to meow back and give me her location, but after meowing like a million cats came around me and started meowing. It was weird.

Well, I finally made contact with someone but it was my brother, and when I got to the forest floor I saw him on a horse telling me to get on. I absolutely despise horses by the way, growing up in montana and having them constantly attack me has given me this feeling, but my bro is an expert rider. Well, the second I hit the forest floor EVERYTHING turns into 3d pixels, and instead of me standing on grass it was hard floor with grass graphics painted on it. The ground was completely flat, and the trees were in video game 3d, as was the horse. "Whoa, wtf!" I thought, and then my stupid alarm clock went off.

 

I think the funniest part of that story was getting "constantly attacked by horses." But then again, I'm weird.

The meowing was pretty strange too. Oh, I could tell you all about a dream involving Adebisi's electric car, but that would be off topic.

The topic, yeah...You know you've played too many CRPGs when...you expect a person you've known for five minutes to start spouting out "love talk" such as "So. What brings you to this part of Faerun?"

 

When you start living vicariously through characters you play, and then start ACTING like one of them...

 

... you wonder how much more you have to do to level up. (done)
... you dream in rpg. (done frequently & w/ mixed games)
... you keep trying to hack your own stats.(done)
... you think you just have to save before taking your PS2 apart. (done)
... you go outside looking for bodies to loot, dungeons to loot, or bushes to loot when you need cash. (almost done, still working on it)
... you tell your girlfriend about your dreaming in rpg.(done, she thinks I need a counselor now)
... you tell your parents about dreaming in rpg.(done, they think I need a counselor now)
... you brag to your friends about dreaming in rpg, and they get jelous.(done, one tried to backstab me with a pencil)
... a friend tries to backstab you with a pencil.(done)
... when above fails, you claim your dex is way to high for that/his base attack is way to low.(done both)

 

When you spend 2 hours writing a 1600+ word essay on the merits of different D&D rulesets at 3am in the morning, for no other reason than because you can.

[ January 31, 2006, 04:24: Message edited by: The Magpie ]

 

...when you read the whole 1600+ word essay twice (because it was so interesting ), and then respond to it. I am such a geek.

 

... When you visit SP nearly everyday and get mad at yourself when you offend another SPer...

Okay, not Crpg but "you know you've been on SP way too long" kind of thing.

 

Aww, shucks Fel...

Well, I'm just glad someone read it, anyway! If there are people willing to do that, then it's probably not quite so tragic. Possibly. Maybe. *cough*

 

When, after getting sick of playing all summer just to go up one level, you decide d20 systems are all crap and make yourself a d100 system that will someday replace D&D! Mwahahahaha! Mwahahahaha... haha... ha.. ah, oh, and I won't rewrite the rules every five years just so everyone has to re-buy all the books. New funding will come from new campaigns, campaign settings, book deals, video games, and movies.

 

yeah right, you will fail your will save and the greed will take over!! You WILL make new rulebooks so that EVERYONE has to update and YOU will take their money!! MWA HAHAHAHAHA!!!

If you make a comment like the above, you have played too many Crpgs

While watching your friends play that silly card game "magic" you tell your friend, "Dude, just cast magic missile. He only has 20 hp you should own him!"

 

When you actually swear like the characters in the CRPG games (or D&D based books).

well you have to admit that it is much fun to say what in the Nine Hells are you talking about then what in the world blah blah blah (well more like what the h*** or f***).

 

When, after playing Dragon Quest VIII, you look up what all these brittish terms mean, like Bangers and Mash, Cor Blimey, why he keeps calling you 'guv'.
When you wonder how much skill you have in Pilot:Automobile, just in case you get pulled over for 'wreckless driving': "No way, officer. I've got 30 skill in pilot:automobile. That turn couldn't have been more than a 32 DC at my speed. If you add in my INT modifier (is it int or dex?), there's no way that was wreckless."

 

I think they would probably be pulling you over for reckless driving. Wreckless driving would mean that you didn't crash your car which probably would be considered a good thing.

 

Another good example, you spell it wreckless because you spend no time on the road or even paying attention to such things.
Thanks for the correction.