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What's your all-time worst movie?

Discussion in 'Whatnots' started by Chris Williams, Dec 4, 2003.

  1. Chris Williams Gems: 9/31
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    Time was when I would I have to think about this one. I'd have to choose between 'Batman and Robin' (you know, the one with George Clooney), 'Notting Hill' perhaps, 'Titanic' maybe, any Coen brothers movie I'd seen, etc.

    That time has passed. I can, without hesitation, say that the worst film I've ever seen is 'The Hulk'. There wasn't a single good thing about it. It started off really boring for about three quarters of an hour and then it just got stupid. I assume that the Hulk was generated using state-of-the-art computer graphics, which means that they must have worked from a plasticine model - a muppet would have been more convincing. The way he bounced around the landscape was ridiculous without being funny. The action sequences failed to excite me, the dialogue was risible, I couldn't have cared less about any of the characters and I had no interest in seeing how the story worked out. Remember that scene where the Hulk has a heart-to-heart with his dad and they're sat between two death rays so that they can be destroyed at the first sign of hulkiness? That's the point at which I left the cinema. I'd wanted to leave an hour earlier but my wife was willing to give it a chance. Finally she relented. The director, Ang Lee, is well respected. I can only assume that he fancied the challenge of making a worse film than 'Batman and Robin'.

    So what are your all time most hated films? Please nominate "proper" films, not ghastly 1950s low-budget horror or straight-to-video releases starring Jean-Claude Van Damme.
     
  2. Sir Belisarius

    Sir Belisarius Viconia's Boy Toy Distinguished Member ★ SPS Account Holder

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    A three way toss up between 'Wing Commander' 'Battlefield Earth' and 'Eye of the Beholder!!!' :eek: They were terrible!!!
     
  3. monkey Gems: 6/31
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    Pokemon: The First Movie (the others are probably as bad). Don't know why I ever went to see this - maybe I was bored. Some people at the back of the cinema all stood up and clapped at the end (they were also dressed as pokemon) - I couldn't believe they'd been watching the same movie as me.
     
  4. Blackhawk Gems: 14/31
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    "Ishtar", "Batteries Not Included" and "Howard the Duck" are terrible films.

    But, the worst film ever made - so bad that it is also the funniest movie ever made - is Ed Wood's "Plan 9 From Outerspace"

    [ December 04, 2003, 20:35: Message edited by: Blackhawk ]
     
  5. monkey Gems: 6/31
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    I saw some film about Ed Wood with Johnny Depp in recently. I really want to see Plan 9 from Outer Space just to see how bad it actually is. Surely it can't be worse than Pokemon...
     
  6. dmc

    dmc Speak softly and carry a big briefcase Staff Member Distinguished Member ★ SPS Account Holder Resourceful Adored Veteran New Server Contributor [2012] (for helping Sorcerer's Place lease a new, more powerful server!)

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    This goes back a ways, so bear with me. There was a movie called Hercules that came out in the early '80s. I think it had Lou Ferrigno in it. My recollections of it were that they blew the entire effects budget on the opening credits. It was so bad that, after the movie, the group of six or seven of us that went pinned our friend to the floor (the one who insisted that we see it), took his wallet, and made him reimburse each of us for the cost of going to see it.

    Edit - I did an IMDB on the movie and it was 1983, had Lou Ferrigno, and one of the people who wrote a review said this:

    In 1983, I did not have this sort of appreciation for the humor value, but I will not see it again to check on this report.
     
  7. Death Rabbit

    Death Rabbit Straight, no chaser Adored Veteran Torment: Tides of Numenera SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!)

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    Queen of the Damned
    Mortal Kombat: Annihilation
    Batman & Robin
    Street Fighter
    Wing Commander
    Dungeons & Dragons
    League of Extraordinary Gentlemen

    ...anyone notice a pattern here? :eek:
     
  8. Chris Williams Gems: 9/31
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    Hmm, I did specify no ghastly 50s horror movies. 'Plan 9' is, of course, notoriously awful but it's rather more entertaining than most of the movies that have been mentioned so far.

    Oh dear, I've been wanting to see that. Is it really so very bad?

    That one really did stink, didn't it? Even more so than any Mortal Kombat movie I think. It must have been the presence of Jean-Claude Van Damme. Mind you, the presence of Kylie Minogue looking most fetching throughout did compensate somewhat.
     
  9. joacqin

    joacqin Confused Jerk Adored Veteran Pillars of Eternity SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!)

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    Vercingetorix starring Cristopher Lambert was one of those movies that are so bad they are funny. Why do movie people insist on doing extremely bad history/fantasy/sci-fi movies? Is it not possible to do a great historical/fantasy/sci-fi movie without a LotR like budget?

    One of the most overrated movies I have ever seen must be "Crouching tiger hidden dragon", talk about generic asiatic kung-fu flick with some added money spent on special FX. That movie had nothing special whatsoever. I cringe when I hear people talk about its "innate poetry and beauty" and such BS.
     
  10. Chris Williams Gems: 9/31
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    The presence of Christopher Lambert almost guarantees a bad film, doesn't it? I'm not sure that I can name a decent film that he's appeared in while there have been plenty of absolute stinkers (e.g. the entire 'Highlander' series).
     
  11. Splunge

    Splunge Bhaal’s financial advisor Adored Veteran Pillars of Eternity SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!) Torment: Tides of Numenera SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!)

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    Me, Myself and Irene starring Jim Carey.
    I can usually tolerate "toilet" humour, but this one was just plain offensive. I don't think I laughed once during the whole movie.
     
  12. BOC

    BOC Let the wild run free Veteran

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    Another vote for "Battlefield Earth" here. Before the release of this movie the worst movies for me were "Mortal Combat" and "Friday the 13th" series but "Battlefield Earth" managed to supersede them.
     
  13. Barmy Army

    Barmy Army Simple mind, simple pleasures... Adored Veteran

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    Me, Myself and Irene, offensive? :confused:

    Whatever floats yer boat! I was creasing almost the entire way through it, lol.

    Titanic is a film I really detest with a scary vigor. Its boring, drawn out, unentertaining crap :( .
     
  14. JSBB Gems: 31/31
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    Oh, can I jump on the Jim Carey bashing bandwagon? I would easily nominate either of the Ace Ventura films for the least enjoyable film that I have ever had the misfortune of watching. I don't know about Me, Myself, and Irene as I have never watched it but I have little difficulty imagining that it is equally as bad.

    I probably would have selected either Titanic or Forrest Gump but I was never able to sit through more than five minutes of either one of them.

    Plan 9 from Outer Space is a truly bad film but it is bad in a highly entertaining way. My personal favourite in the so bad that you risk rupturing internal organs while laughing catagory would have to be Revenge Of The Teenage Vixens From Outer Space. The plot involved a teen magazine being delivered to a planet populated solely by female aliens who come to earth to seduce teenage males and when spurned turn them into giant muppet like vegetables, many of which had giant plastic googly eyes on them.

    Street Fighter, Mortal Kombat 2 and others of that sort are certainly bad films but I generally find them amusing.

    League of Extraordinary Gentlemen is certainly not a great film, or even a good film for that matter, but I wouldn't say it deserves to be ranked as one of the worst films of all time.
     
  15. Thorin Gems: 9/31
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    freddy got fingered
    Gigli
    Glitter
    the Avengers
     
  16. Kam Gems: 15/31
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    Time Bandits, or this little gem called Based on an Untrue Story. Untrue Story though was one of those so unbelievably stupid movies that seeing it is a life changing experience. :D I'd definitely have to agree with Ace Ventura. Absolute trash. Or how about House of 1000 Corpses. That was just nasty.

    At the risk of being declared anathema here, I'll say that I honestly would put LoTR on here. Well, at least Two Towers. Seriously, I was bored the whole way through last time I saw it.
     
  17. reepnorp

    reepnorp Lim'n Lime Veteran Pillars of Eternity SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!) New Server Contributor [2012] (for helping Sorcerer's Place lease a new, more powerful server!)

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    I'd have to go with any LotR movie, and all of the Matixs. By the way, before I get ripped apart, limb from limb, and banned, THIS IS A JOKE! Do not take this seriously at all! On a serious note, I dunno what the worst movie I've seen is.
     
  18. Smoothbrain Gems: 1/31
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    The Fan with Wesley Snipes and DeNiro. You could drive a truck through the holes in the plot. Really disappointing.
     
  19. Abomination Gems: 26/31
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    For ME it was Dungeons and Dragons simply because (like most of us on this board) I know alot about Dungeons and Dragons.

    The movie failed by the title being an advertisment, there had to be dungeons and dragons in this movie. So they chucked in a pointless dungon and included a few thousand dragons. Screw the acting! The Wizards of the Cost liscene will make this good!

    Lots of special effects combined with idiot plot, pathetic acting, insulting a liscience and the 'worst' combat scenes I've ever seen (two guys pointlessly clashing swords above their head) make this the worst movie for me...
     
  20. Aldazar Gems: 24/31
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    For me, it's a difficult choice between Glitter (yes, I've seen it I'm ashamed to say), Battlefield Earth and The Stupids.
    Though I'd probably have to say The Stupids because the other 2 I actually sat through all of both, whereas I only managed to get through about half an hour or so of The Stupids. Even with Christopher Lee in it.
     
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