Top ten reasons for being.......

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TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING DUTCH:

1 You can get arrested for growing plants, but not for smoking them. 2 You can make jokes about the Belgians and still drink their beer. 3 a. You can legally kill yourself b. You can legally be killed 4 You're exactly like the Germans, except that nobody hates you. 5 You think you are a world power, but the rest if the world thinks Copenhagen is our capital..... 6 You get to insult people and defend yourself by saying it's a national tradition 7 You can put your finger in a dyke and it will save your country 8 You live in the most densely populated country in Europe, and still you've never seen your neighbours. 9 If the economy is bad, blame the Germans. If a war is started, blame the Germans. If you lose your keys, blame the Germans. 10 Bikes are public property, locks are a challenge.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING BELGIAN:

1 You get to speak three languages, but none of them intelligibly. 2 If other countries want to fight a war, they will do it in your country. 3 You can brew drinks out of fruit, and still call it beer. 4 You are either: a.like the Dutch, just less efficient b.like the French, just less romantic c.like the Germans 5 Decent fries. Real mayonnaise. Great chocolate. The best beer. 6 No one knows anything about you, except for the Dutch and French and they make fun of you. 7 More scandals in a week than any other country in a decade. 8 You can drive like a maniac on the road and nobody cares 9 All your famous countrymen are either imaginary, or sex-offenders 10 Face it. It's not really a country, is it?

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING FRENCH:

1. When speaking fast you can make yourself sound gay.

2. Experience the joy of winning the World Cup for the first time. 3. You get to eat insect food like snails and frog's legs 4. If there's a war you can surrender really early 5. You don't have to read the subtitles on those late night films on Channel 4. 6. You can test your own nuclear weapons in other people's countries 7. You can be ugly and still become a famous film star 8. Allow Germans to march up and down your most famous street humiliating your sense of national pride 9. You don't have to bother with toilets, just **** in the street. 10. People think you're a great lover even when you're not.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AMERICAN:

1. You can have a woman president without electing her

2. You can spell color wrong and get away with it

3. You can call Budweiser beer

4. You can be a crook and still be president

5. If you've got enough money you can get elected to do anything 6. If you can breathe you can get a gun 7. You get to be really obese 8. You can play golf in the most hideous clothes ever made and nobody seems to care 9. You get to call everyone you've never met "buddy" 10. You can think you're the greatest nation on earth

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING SPANISH:

1. Glorious history of killing South American tribes.

2. The rest of Europe thinks Africa begins at the Pyrenees.

3. You get your beaches invaded by Germans, Danes, Brits, etc. 4. The rest of your country is already invaded by Moroccans. 5. Everybody else makes crap paella and claims it's the real thing. 6. Honesty. 7. Only sure way of bedding a woman is to dress up in stupid, tight clothes and risk our life in front of bulls. 8. You get to eat bull's testicles. 9. Gibraltar. 10. Supported Argentina in Falklands War.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING CANADIAN

1. It beats being an American.

2. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground. 3. You can play ice hockey 12 months a year, outdoors. 4. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground. 5. Where else can you travel 1000 miles over fresh water in a canoe? 6. A political leader can admit to smoking pot and his/her popularity ratings will rise. 7. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground. 8. Kill Grizzly bears with huge shotguns and cover your house in their skins. 9. Own-an-Eskimo scheme. 10. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AUSTRALIAN:

1. Know your great-grand-dad was a murdering bar steward that no civilized nation on earth wanted. 2. Fosters Lager. 3. Dispossess Aboriginals who have lived in our country for 40,000 years because you think it belongs to you. 4. Cricket captain not afraid to cry live on TV. 5. Tact and sensitivity. 6. Bondi Beach. 7. Other beaches. 8. Liberated attitude to homosexuals. 9. Drinking cold lager on the beach. 10. Having a bit of a swim and then drink some cold lager on the beach.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING GREEK:

1. You get to shout about your culture although the only real culture most Greeks have is what is growing between their toes. 2. The police are even more corrupt than the criminals they are supposed to be chasing. 3. You can blow your nose in the street by pinching it between the thumb and forefinger and trumpeting forth without everyone around wretching their stomach contents up at the sight. 4. Old women can sport moustaches. 5. Young women can sport moustaches. 6. Men can be hairier than the average grizzly bear and not get put in a zoo. 7. You get to call the bouzouki a musical instrument when the rest of the world sees it as an instrument of torture. 8. You are the only nation to have lost its marbles and still wants to let everyone else around the world know about it. 9. Ridiculous bureaucracy. 10. Nana Mouskouri and Demis Roussos.

SOME REASONS TO BE FROM THE USA

1. Understand baseball, and have fun with it

2. Wear the weirdest clothes on earth and no one care

3. Ask for a beer saying: gimme a bud

4. Know that the capitol of Brasil is Buenos Aires

5. Study for free in Yale,a s long as knows how to play "football"(played with the hands..)

6. Think that any ****ty tour is "terrific, amazing, wonderful"...

7. Live with fear, of planes and anthrax

8. Having a santa claus who is afraid of opening letters

 

Ahh, Belgium... According to legend, a country invented by the British specifically designed to annoy the French!

As for the French getting away with urinating [EDIT - self censorship!] in the street, didn't anyone notice Paula Radcliffe in the Marathon the other day? I guess when nature calls, it doesn't matter where you're from!

 

Top 10 reasons to be from Northern Ireland:

1) You can kill somone, blame it on the fact they are a different religion than you, and get 2 years in prison. Anyother reason gets you 25 years plus.

2) No one is allowed to fly their countries flag except for tourists

3) you can vomit all over the street, your house,
your bed, yourself, and no one looks down on you.

4) To be the leader of a terrorist orgainzation you don't need brains, just money (Gerry Adams) or muscle (Johnny Adair)

5) North Americans envy our traditions

6) Worse bus service in UK or Ireland

7) there is a different accent every 10 steps you take

8) Girls can wear bright orange tan and not get laughed at (mullets are also in fashion for young females)

9) We don't have to pay for water until next year

10) When you misbehave abroad the locals say "Bah English!"

 

Some reasons to be from the USA number 4: or is a part of the joke or is incorrect, the capital of Brasil is Brasilia, Buenos Aires is the capital of Argentina.

 

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING A NEW ZEALANDER:

1. You’re not an Australian.
2. People come from all over the world to leap off towers with only a rubber band for protection.
3. You can spend 150 years arguing over a piece of paper to decide who owns what piece of land.
4. Idolising a bunch of grown men who do a dance before every rugby international.
5. You can say you live in Middle Earth.
6. Your airforce has no fighter planes
7. You live within easy driving distance of a beach, a volcano, a ski field, a forest, a city, a vineyard, or a farm.
8. Everyone else in the world talks with a funny accent.
9. Your national bird and your national fruit have the same name.
10. Having a bit of a swim and then drink some cold lager on the beach.

 

I only read a few of those, and whoever wrote the ones for Canada really doesn't like Americans. At least it's all funny!

 

Top ten reasons for being a Finn.

1) We have snow!
2) Did I mention snow allready?
3) You can make castles from snow!
4) We have a lot of snowmen!
5) Snow is so much fun!
6) Snow is not really that cold, in fact it's all warm and fuzzy!
7) Our snow looks much better than some stupid cheap Canadian snow.
8) Everyone loves snow!
9) Having a lot of snow is like having Christmas 24/7!
10) We also have ice!

 

11) Unlike most other countries we have only one day (summer) and one night (winter) per year.
12) Santa Claus

 

Yeah. Having a 11 month autnum is soooo much better.

Oh I should have remembered this one. All the others have their stupid fake Santas that live on the north pole. Everyone knows that the real Santa lives in Lappland, Finland and not on some stupid uncivilized piece of ice.

 

You mean... Finland is a CIVILISED piece of ice? Cor. You learn something new every day.

 

Top 10 Reasons to be German

1. Everyone and their grandma (especially their grandma) hates your guts. 2. Although everyone hopes you get craps there is nothing they can do since their petty economy is likely to depend on your nations performance. 3. You rank high on every criminals list of targets to pilfer. 4. Strife and hassle with Turks around the clock makes an adventurers life look pretty lame. 5. The French wont go snooty on you. 6. The most flattering association you will get to hear begins with discipline this, has a clean in the middle, and ends with quality that. 7. The Netherlands and all its psychoactive deposits are a province of your nation. 8. Poland consists of a third of your territory and feels safe. 9. Creepy freaks around the world get off on relicts from your nations darker episodes. 10. As everyone hates your guts you wont have no qualms when the time of reckoning hath come upon the world.

 

10 Reasons for being English...

1) You have the best and proudest history of any other country in the world.
2) You are the size of a pea compared to the rest of the world, but can claim to be part of a Kingdom that once posessed nearly half the world.
3) You have the worlds best football, rugby and cricket sides. You also have some of the worlds best boxers.
4) For a long time have been able to bully a neighbouring nation that England could fit in about 100 times.
5) You get to laugh at sour Scottish, Welsh and Irish who have long been jealius of a power and sheer greatness.
6) You can drink more than anyone else.
7) You have the best sports fans in the world (this bit is actually true).
8) You're one of few nations never to have been totally beaten by foreign invaders.
9) You saved the worlds ass from the Nazis and gave the glory to the yanks.
10) Well, you're just super aren't you?

Tongue firmly in cheek here... !

 

Oh dear oh dear.....

Hmm, the soccer team always underperforms, the rugby team hasn't won a thing in two years, and the cricket team is a light year behind the Australians!

Hmm, except for the Celts, the Angles, the Saxons, the Vikings, and the Normans. Have I missed anyone out?

Thanks for noticing!

 

I'd point you towards the last bit of my post if I may .

 

Ah, bring on the Lions!

 

No it is not. I'll have you know that Finland is an uncivilized piece of SNOW, with a few spots of ice here and there but mostly snow. So keep that in mind before you insult us.

 

@Apeman, concerning the Aussie bit
-What Captain?
-We all know that West End, Coopers and just about every other South Australian (as well as a few Northern Territory and Western Australian) beer kill that Fosters crap they drink over in the eastern states.
-No my great grand dad (ok, his brother) was the general of the Latvian army and (attemted to) invaded Russia. And Russia wanted him after the war!!!!

 

@Stu

I didn't come up with these you know. I wouldn't want to be responsible of upsetting the board members who can't see this for the joke it is. Just thought some where pretty funny, to be honest I know absolutely nothing about the land down under.

 

I'm much more interested in the Ashes, HB .

Bell is really putting up a claim for Butcher/Pietersens spot!

200, 143, 70,n/o in his first 3 innings this season so far! Very hard to ignore that. Nice little problem for Vaughny!

 

YEAH right, C'mon have you ever saw some true canadian ale? The cheap beers are like 9% alchool and the strongest up to 17%.

as for canada

That is not true at all we have summers dammit!