Things the LOTR chars would never say!

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Elrond: i'm good in bed.

Gimli: i was surfing for Galadriel porn and she gave me the blue screen of death!

 

What drugs was I on, calling Eowyn Eowen and Gollum Golumn. Argh, my English IS degenerating, dammit.

 

Yep, it is.

Legolas:Boromir, hands off MY Aragorn!!

Boromir boinks him on the head with Eze's Staff of Hatred of Everything -13 what likes to suck blood

 

Aragorn & Boromir: Eze, we´re straight!!! stop fantasying about we doing icky stuff!!

[ December 30, 2002, 13:22: Message edited by: Morgoth ]

 

Legolas: Do you feel lucky punk. Did I fire six shots, or only five?
Sauroman: I am getting to old for this ****.
Gollum: ET phone home
Frodo: Wax on. Wax off
Sauron: Houston, We have a problem
Gandalf: Aww Why do I have to be mister pink?
Sam: Danger... is my middle name.

And many more I am pondering on. Just lemme know if you want directors cut...

A few things they could have said;

Gimli: I love the smell of napalm in the mornin'
Aragorn: Roads? Where we're going we don't need roads.
Gandalf with an accent: I'll be back.

[ January 01, 2003, 22:40: Message edited by: Nobleman ]

 

You guys have probably seen this but for those who haven't you ought to check it out.

It gave me a good laugh!

A diary of each of the LOTR characters.

http://diaries.diagon.org/

 

Eze, it ain't going to happen. Legolas in the film does seem like so gay though.

As for unlikely things to be said:

Sam: I really like hobbit girls Mr. Frodo
Frodo: Yes Sam, let's go somewhere private
Anyone: Sam isn't gay
Anyone (the films) : Sam and Legolas aren't gay

Amazing how many uninnocent things there are in a childrens book isn't it?

 

Anyone/Everyone on the 'good' side: Dammit! This quest is too hard. **** the ring! Lets just cut the other 9 of Saurons fingers off so he can't use it! Then we'll be sorted!

Actually that's a thought, if sauron was an eye how the hells was he gonna wear a ring?? Can't you just imagine the flaming lidless eye with the ring trapping it lol. Well maybe just me.

 

Any character: "Mathetais, why haven't you been to see the movie yet??? Get some priorities!"

 

Legolas is not gay!! Legolas is my idol (until he takes off the blonde wig) Anyway I know a certain person who fancies a computer generated character called Aribeth.... VERMILLION!!

 

Fine. I give up. Legs is bisexual.

Eze is baffled how someone can like Legolas instead of Boromir or Aragorn

 

Eze, Mortensen is mad, hadn't you noticed. And she likes Aragon in a big way too, it's just he doesn't have blonde hair. And yes I put my foot down at the mention of dying my hair blonde. How sick would that be?
Legolas is gay looking and not at all what I envisioned an elf looking like.
As for this Aribeth thing, I only said that there was a great pic in the bit between chapters 1 and 2 in NWN, and that as far as computer generated masturbation aids went she's OK. this only started when Mortensen went weird and accused me of fancying computer game characters more than her. Women eh?

 

Gandalf:Where's my mask I'm late for the Klu Klux
Klan meeting(looking at Gimli in disgust).Saruman c'mon!

[ January 04, 2003, 16:43: Message edited by: Ark ]

 

Gandalv : If something's hard to do, then it's not worth doing

 

GandalfWearing Klu Klux Klan mask)This land is for the humans.Never mix around with other kinds or you will drop like them.HUMAN POWER!!!!

 

Legolas:Gandy, yer not human.

Gandalf:Who cares!

Gandalf proceeds to kill the gay Legolas

 

Gimli:I have a dream.I have a dream that people are no longer judged by how their ears look like, how tall they are or how ugly they look like but rather who they are inside.(A few days later an arrow was launched by Gondor rascists and so dawns The Dwarf Power movement).

No offence to the Blacks of Sorcerer's Place.

[ January 04, 2003, 16:51: Message edited by: Ark ]

 

Sam: You know you'd like it really Mr. Frodo...

Gollum: Are you Sam's preciousss Bagginnssss?
Sam: Hands off Mr. Frodo he's mine!!

Aragon: You halflings disgust me.
Merry, Pippin and Frodo (in unison): It's Sam that disgusts us. Especially what he was doing with Bill the pony!

Sam: Hello little pnoy, would you like an apple?

 

Vermillion, stop it, thats even more gross than Eze´s fantasy with Boromir and Aragorn.

Does Mortensen know about your obsession about Sam and his pony

 

Gimliwhile looking on at the approtching orc army(2nd movie)*) They dont stand a chance!