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Things the Characters In BG II Would Never Say...

Discussion in 'BG2: Shadows of Amn (Classic)' started by Kitrax, Sep 17, 2002.

  1. zepert Gems: 2/31
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    Korgan and Viconia: No No spare their innocent lives

    Aerie an Keldorn reply: Mercy is for the week.

    Sword from the sewer qeust (forgot his name): No more killing I can't stand the blood

    Charname: Hmmmmmm that demon overthere reminds me of me mother

    Saverok: Let's settle this once and for all who beats the other wins. I challenge you with a real game of chess
     
  2. Wavesword Gems: 1/31
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    lol Komei

    Keldorn: "I remember when all this were nowt but fields and you coul get your holy avenger and full plate armour and still have thruppence for t'bus fare home. Then we'd sleep in t'gutter for three hours and slay beholders the liakes of which you young folk can't imagine. Tch, son of Bhaal- you don't know you're born."
    or "You see <charame> I am your father"

    Aerie: "I-I have a confession to make. I actually lost my wings in a high stakes poker game. I mean I had three kings, that should beat anything!"

    Korgan: "I knew a girl once, she had a bunny rabbit with a tail like flicked just so, ah she were a bonny lass"
     
  3. Zveistein Gems: 1/31
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    ------------------------------------------
    Jan : I think I will swich to cabbage...
    ------------------------------------------
    Edwin : This glass's half full! (not half empty)
    ------------------------------------------
    Fammiliar : Stop, don't come anywhere near me! You stink
    ------------------------------------------
    Game : You must gath.. Gasp...Gasp [suffocate]
    ------------------------------------------
     
  4. Prophete D'Acier Gems: 3/31
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    Edwina: Don't touch me there!!! (yeah right)

    =================================================

    Edwina: Wow, didn't know I could make myself feel so (*censored*)
    =================================================
    (Ok let's imagine the player character has a romance with Aerie)

    <CHARNAME>: Aerie honey, what was it like to fly?

    Aerie: Ok, today I'm feeling a little honest so let me tell you I was never a winged elf.

    <CHARNAME>: WHAT?!?!

    Aerie: Yeah, in fact I used to be a man too. These boobs are fake. In fact when I was working in a circus, I let Uncle Quayle and the other guys do me like a hundred times. Oh yeah but not that Kalah guy. Maybe that's why he got so grouchy... What? Don't love me anymore? Ah well nevermind. I could always go to the Copper Coronet. They're always short on courtesans...

    =================================================

    Jan: What's a turnip. Oh that ghastly piece of trash is a turnip?!?! YUCK!!!

    =================================================

    Keldorn or Anomen, in a Marlon Brando accent: Get the **** over here! I want you to go down to Don Firkraag's ****'n dungeon and give him the tribute he deserves. No money? Lathander's loins, man, those darn clerics of Ilmater are to busy using sandpaper on their asses to notice you stealing from them you son of a bitch!

    =================================================

    Minsc: (To Edwin) Haven't you heard? Let me tell you how Rasheman fell apart. Gorby, with his policies of glasnost and perestroika....

    =================================================

    Minsc: Evil! It's nice to meet you again! Let's go slaughter some kids. I'm getting the itch for some meat too.... Hamster meat... Boo, come here......

    =================================================

    Cernd: Geeze this is boring guys. Let's go pee on that grove spirit's stupid shrine.

    Korgan: No way! The travellers need to give offerings to the spirits or else they will not receive protection and...

    Cernd: **** the stupid travellers! Their offerings mean nothing anyways!

    Korgan: What? How dare to offend Mother Nature like...

    Cernd: **** mother nature too! I've sucked up to her fat leafy ass for so many years and now my wife's left me!

    =================================================

    Cernd: What? No it's ok if you throw six pack holders into the sea. Heheh, let's get some more six packs so we can throw them into the sea and watch the fishes die! Hahahaha...

    =================================================

    Sarevok: Shhh! Quiet now, I'm praying to Lathander. Lord Lathander, please protect us from harm today. Forgive my sins! Please! And help those poor children... those poor, starving, orphaned children! *sob*

    =================================================

    Game: Sure, DON'T gather your party before venturing forth. See if I care. *WHISTLE*

    =================================================

    And so on... (yes i know they're lame)

    [ September 22, 2002, 13:10: Message edited by: Prophete D'Acier ]
     
  5. ChiLdO Gems: 1/31
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    lolllllllllll
     
  6. Z-Layrex Gems: 21/31
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    All: " WOULD YOU GET THAT BLOODY HAND OFF ME!!!"
     
  7. Farthy Gems: 10/31
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    Veteran

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    [​IMG] Anomen: "Wine and women for me!" Wait, actually, he does say that. Extra credit for anyone who knows when he gets out of character! But here are some of my own:

    Cernd: "I have suddenly comprehended why, like the lightning striking the ubiquitous trees across the celadon forests, I am powerless to not speak in an eloquent fashion and have the ability to mutter casual language..."

    Main character (during battle): I'm hungry and tired, I haven't eaten since leaving Candlekeep.

    Jaheira: "I possess only a minimal intellect of 10(?) and yet I have the wit to tirade against the musings of my opponent Haer'Dalis."

    Imoen: "I have become a crack addict and a punk rocker, which explains my new voice, pink hair, and mage abilities."

    NEW ONE!!: Xan: Why doesn't my high charisma help me?

    [ September 25, 2002, 07:49: Message edited by: Farthy ]
     
  8. Prophete D'Acier Gems: 3/31
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    Edwin: Me happy today! Me want play with pretty bunny over there! Me love you all. You all smart. More smart than me.

    <CHARNAME>: Err Edwin I thought you used to call us monkeys?

    Edwin: Yay! Me like play with monkey! Monkey where?
     
  9. Deathmage

    Deathmage Arrr! Veteran

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    Farthy: Anomen does that if he fails his test! Right after failing, after you get out of the Order.

    Topic:

    Minsc: Let's play hamster drop-kick!
    Edwin: Never! Don't harm Boo!

    Noober and Neeber: ......

    Jan: ......
     
  10. Lazy Bonzo Gems: 24/31
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    [​IMG] :lol: at all those so far

    hmm can i come with something witty :hmm: ?

    Main Char during the final battle [at over 100 days game time] - ooooo oooo i need the toilet *crosses legs and runs arounds in circles wondering if there are any toilets in hell*

    Jaheria [romance] to main char - i know im old enough to be your mother but can we have sex? please? i haven't had any in years!

    Imoen to Main char and Sarverok - hey guys *flutters eyelids* you know i don't mind a bit of incest for a lil godlike 3-some *wink* so how about it boys *eyes sarveroks crotch* im sure you know how to use 'swords' *wink wink*

    ok best stop there. I have a dirty imagination.
     
  11. Blackhawk Gems: 14/31
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    [​IMG] Here's my contribution (the best ones have already been posted):

    Minsc: "Actually, given the relative nature of morality and justice in context with different social norms, the term 'Goodness' is inadequate to describe individual motives."

    Edwin: "I respect your ability and your intelligence."

    Aerie: "I can't go up into Sudenansselar... I can't stand heights!"

    Viconia: "La la la la la la! Oh, hey..... Isn't Boo cuuuute. Oh yes you are. Oh yes you are! Who's got a fuzzy nose. Oh yes you do. Oh yes you do...."

    [ October 18, 2002, 03:11: Message edited by: Blackhawk ]
     
  12. zepert Gems: 2/31
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    Jaheira and cernd: Ooooh nature I hate it the sun aint very nice while having a hangover and all those stupid birds give me a headdache

    Viconia and Edwin reply: where are you talking about look to all the beauty in the nature those lovely flowers those happy birds "sob" it makes me feel so happy I want to sing
     
  13. Lond Daer Guest

    This is great fun (right, Boo ?)! Let's see... :hmm:

    *Party having dinner*

    Viconia: "Jan, pass me the turnip-sauce, please."

    Aerie: "Can I have the wings from that fried chicken?"

    Edwin: "By the gods, Minsc! Is that a rodent's tail hanging out from your mouth?"

    Minsc: "The hamsters are quite tasty, but you need at least a dozen for a decent meal (gulp)."

    Korgan: "If ye don't mind, there be educated individuals 'ere who be wishin' to enjoy these exquisite dishes, along with this fine turnip wine...'67, I presume...A good year for vegetables, I tell ye..."

    Keldorn: "...fifteen elves on a dead gnome's chest...(burp)...I wonder if Torm ever gets drunk..."

    [ September 24, 2002, 01:51: Message edited by: rHant ]
     
  14. nior Gems: 24/31
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    I like this thread!!!

    Minsc to Edwin : "For his a jolly good fellow..."
    Edwin to Minsc : (Sobbing) "I never thought my dream would come true... I love you."

    Misc : "Go for the eyes Boo, go for the... AARGH!!! Not my eyes you stupid vermin!"

    Vampire : "I promise, I will not level drain you."

    Adamantine Golem : "Duh, you need a +2? Or was that a +3 weapon to hurt me?"

    Valygar : "Hey Edwin, can you teach me to cast one of those nasty fireballs?"

    Torgal : "I can smell you. By the way, is that Armani or Gucci?"

    Minsc : "Look Boo! Sylvester finally ate Tweety. Let's go meet him."

    Trolls : "Come on baby light my fire."

    Aerie : "I believe I can fly, I believe I can touch the sky, Spread my wings and fly away."

    What Minsc sang when Brus ask him about his toupee.
    "The answer my friend, is blowing in the wind, the answer is blowing in the wind."

    Genie to Minsc (after Minsc wished to be made intelligent) : "Can I just lower everyone's Int to 3?"

    Lilarcor : "Can we stop fighting for a couple of days? Please."
     
  15. TheNovak Gems: 5/31
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    Anomen: So, any brothels in town?

    Keldorn: Screw the Knighthood. I haven't seen my wife in five years, and I need some lovin'!

    Irenicus: Tell you my evil plans? What do you think I am, some cheesy Bond villain?

    Sarevok: I'm not bitter about losing: the best man won.

    Xan: Man, I love that Donny Osmond's outlook on life!

    Minsc: Boo says I should run for office. But as I'm not sure where that is, I may have to slow to a jog or walk along the way.
     
  16. Baezlebub Gems: 18/31
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    [​IMG] Salvanas: I'm actually gay......

    Or...

    Jan: I have absolutely no humourous anecdotes to say on the happenings of the last 10 minutes, nothing like this has happened to me or anyone in my family.

    Or...

    Jan: Im actually making Uncle Spanky up.

    Or...

    Jan: Alright, alright, there was no underwear famine. I'm pulling your leg.

    Or...

    Valygar: I dont actually understand why we denied those young children their beer and ******* swords. They were actually pretty atractrive. A lot like our sexy little Haer'Dalis.

    Haer'Dalis: Yeah honey, you really are my little raven, or in some cases, my little mynx. *wink*. God you look nice in that leather armour. Blue suits you.
     
  17. Deathmage

    Deathmage Arrr! Veteran

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    nior: We've thought of that Aerie one before!! Lol, that's so funny.

    Khalid: How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

    Alora: Life is so hollow.

    Xan: Happy happy joy joy!

    Yeslick: Shut up ye stupid youngster, I'm bloody older then ye! Back in my days...
     
  18. Lord Ogre Gems: 2/31
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    [​IMG] Edwin: A bird! Pip Pip!

    Jan: I never liked the turnip-business anyway...

    Keldorn: I never even liked Helm... Torm all the way man!

    Jaheira: Yes? O friggin mistake of nature?

    Aerie: Hey <Charname>, Fancy a f*ck?
     
  19. Rastor Gems: 30/31
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    Just thought of this one:

    Romance partner: "Where does that screwy music come from everytime I start talking to you?"

    Saemon Havarian: "I decided to become an honest guy." (well, he might say it, but he won't do it)

    Korgan: "Who cares about the stupid gold, I want to know how much experience you'll give me."

    PC: "Let's consult this walkthrough to see what I should do now."
     
  20. Eze Gems: 24/31
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    Anomen:*talking to CHARNAME*Do you remember, when i told you about that little incident?
    CHARNAME:You mean that one with the horn, butter and Keldorn?
    Anomen:No! That one with Viconia, the spider and butter.

    Ezellohar
    (feeling very sick right now)
     
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