The teacher you remember

Oh yeah, I almost forgot to roast the grabasstic piece of amphibian [expletive] school where I took my freaking PSD.

One fat bastard comes to mind. Had multiple classes along the way, to my own displeasure, with this beached whale. Zero sense of humor, strict as hell. He suspended me for a ridiculously absurd reason, also that it "was the straw that broke the camel's back" or something. From the moment I returned from suspension, he basically snobbed me. In exchange, I gave him HELL. I also had the sweetest of revenges when the bastard visited me at my internship. I was wearing a company shirt (I didn't had to, I asked), and talking to both the senior tech (who I was assigned with) and the boss' right hand, the sound of BOTH these guys signing my praises must have been ear-shredding noise.

Another of my teachers deserves a mention for being a two-faced hypocritic bastard. Prior to my suspension, he was cool, but when I returned, I suddenly was a less than nothing... hell, he was on the verge of kicking me out of his own freaking class, and I was on the verge of going verbally postal on this sorry SOB, but that would've been an insta-expulsion from the course... period. I knew better than to throw away the last two years of this horrible miserable painful torture experience into nothingness. I held on to the end, and the day the classes were OFFICIALLY over, I flipped him off, and got in his face, too, just for the fun of it.

Special mention to the KING OF ULTRAMORONS known as the department's principal. He was cool with me, allowed me to skip a boring english class after I proved just why I didn't gave a flying <d>uck, much less need the stupid class. Suspended my ass FIVE DAYS, and told me to find my internship on my own. Fine, I don't need your help, you worthless two-faced piece of puke. Screw this school and screw the morons that inhabit it. I just might stop by to screw with them pissheads some more.

 

You are such a funny silly little boy Disciple.

 

Each and every of my History class teacher was an oddity. A sight to behold. A curiosum. A remarkably strange individual. Et caetera, et caetera...

The cruel fate bound my path with the first one by the fourth grade of primary school. The lady in question was also our form tutor (and, believe me, Ladies and Gentlemen, what has been said about the history teachers I encountered can also be said about the form tutors I had the misfortune to meet). Being an ambitious, independent and liberated woman of the XXth century, she took up psychology as well. The lessons turned into some sort of poorly - executed, heavy handed, superficial therapy sessions. All in the name of her MA. Examples include: reading fairy - tales and asking us how we felt about them (Bettelheim, rot in hell), making us draw self - portraits (she called my parents because, understanding the meaning of the term properly, I drew only myself, without friends, parents, pets or whatsoever) and - the teacher playing a cunning psycholinguist - asking us to describe pictures. Aaaargh. The worst thing is that even now I remember how shallow her knowledge actually was, and how superficial her 'diagnoses' were. What a cow. I cannot believe how bitter I am after all these years. Ah... memoria est vis magna!

The second one was quite OK... except for one thing. During every lesson, every week, she would spend at least five minutes on reminding everyone of how she looked like Catherine II of Russia. The insecure woman was probably cognitively - dissonancing over the fact that she was considerably overweight, and chose this 'similarity' as her brand new shiny cognitive element... Gods only know. This was most odd, actually, hearing her self - talk like that. Not to mention that in Poland, most people do not like it when anyone mentions the name of this particular Russian empress - for obvious reasons. Ah, and she also considered 'vodka' a swear word. She uttered it only once, to explain an archaic term to the class. And had been blushing all the while. Fiercely.

The third teacher, in junior high, had apparently fallen victim to the enforced 'equal opportunities' campaign. She stuttered, was highly neurotic and most probably had been suffering from some sort of OCD. For the record: I do not think that makes her one of the Untermensch or whatsoever. I do think, however, that anyone who assigns such a teacher to a class consisting of noisy, obnoxious thirteen year olds should grow a damned brain. On average, she sacrificed twenty minutes to calm us down enough so that she could start her lecture. Then, she would desperately try to get her brain and vocal organs to work together. I remember a 'lesson' when she managed to utter the topic sentence, only to repeat it over and over afterwards. Again, I do not think that any of her minor disabilities should be any obstacle to live life to the fullest and enjoy the hell out of it. Still, a person should be qualified for the job. That is how it works. The qualifications of a teacher involve, among other things, the ability of coherent speech.

Last, but not least: Magna Bestia! A woman grotesque in appearance, deeds and words. A woman who informed us that: 'Greeks would go into COLUMNS, but very rarely'; 'A capital looks like a pillow, but it's usually solid, so no. It actually does not look like a pillow.'; 'Ancient Egypt... it was... Ancient Egypt. Yes.'(I think she might have been the one who started the Captain Obvious meme...) ;'Feel free to browse the evolution chapter, but know that I, personally, do not believe it, I am a Catholic'... aaaand so on. Gaaaah.

If you managed to read the whole thing, I owe you a beer.

And yet, I had risen triumphant: none of these people was able to kill my undying devotion to Clio. YEEEEHAAAAW!

 

If the offer of alcohol is serious then I'll turn the TV off and re-read that fully!

 

I never said I respected the man, I did say I was brought up to respect older people.

 

Sure! Nothing in the world is as therapeutic as having someone listen to our dolors For the less persistent of us... hm. Maybe I should record myself reading it out loud and put it on red, errrrrm, youtube. Ah, the never - failing Internet Drama!

 

I'd much rather a glass of sherry than a beer

I've had my fair share of bizarre teachers that I had varying relationships with, from outright rivalry to a more cordial first name basis in lessons.

Maybe I'll write up a few later, had so many teachers over the years there aren't really those that stand out more than others. I have a lot from most teachers to account for.

 

There was one I had, we were never particularly good to her as a class, but then we found out she was leaving - We were devastated. It's only when you realise a teacher is going that you think back and realise how much help they really gave you, even to the point of helping you to cheat on your exams..

In fact, it's only now looking back that I realise just how good she was. Dammit. I wish I could thank her.

 

Montresor, I was referring to the default setting / attitude when a kid or student first walks into a class -- the teacher asks you to do something reasonable like open your book, you open it. If he asks you a question about the material, you answer it without acting like a twerp. He asks you to not talk during another student's presentation, you stop talking. These are not the actions of a police state or any other such nonsense. nor is it unreasonable for a teacher to have some baseline expectations of the students, regardless of their age.

I agree that in cases like you mentioned, I would lose a great deal of respect for the teacher -- such things can happen, absolutely, and teachers must also be held accountable. But I'm talking about something different. I'm talking about the little <snip> that walks into class and basically says "I'm going to behave like a little <snip> and the only way I'll stop is if you earn my respect." What utter horse doots. The purpose of a teacher is to impart knowledge, not pander to the inflated egos of know nothing little bastards.

 

does <snip>=Dotty?

 

Wow, someone is getting a little outraged.

As an adult, my default position when I first meet an individual is always one of politeness and respect. It does not matter if they are young or old, black or white, posh upper class or white trash. However, failure of the other party to treat me with respect will in turn reduce my respect for them. I feel no obligation to respect someone who treats me like trash. Oh, sure, if they are my 'superior', I might smile through gritted teeth and take one up the ass, but when I am out of view I will do whatever I can to create hell for them. Quite often others will join me in the fun.

Children are the same. If a teacher mistreats a student, then the rest of the class will make hell for them for the rest of the year. Respect is often given by default to teachers, but one must remember that it can also be very easily lost. Whenever teachers reacts with cruelty, loses their temper, or engages in collective punishment against a class, they will need to earn that respect back.

You might not like this. You might whine and scream that we should 'bring back the cane' to beat respect back into the 'know-nothings', instead of addressing the root cause and treating them like human beings. But as someone who is old enough to be an adult, but still young enough to remember what it was like to be a child, I can say with confidence that you are only addressing the symptom, rather than the disease.

 

Hmm... well, LKD himself did described me as "the kind of student that gives faculty nightmares", "smart, angry and doesn't give a flying <d>uck what other may say, think or feel". Not a million miles away from the truth.

To my defense... I never intentionally stirred the kaka with a teacher. When given a reason, though... that's another story.

Oh yeah, one more memorable teacher comes to mind: Another of my Adult's ed math teachers. This guy was laid-back, relaxed, hell, we'd stop like 10-15 minutes before break to "chill out" in his own words. One serious about their studies found in this guy an all around great teacher. He was my tutor for my last run in Adult's ed, and I didn't mind 21+ hours a week (was doing full-time maths back then) with this guy. There was even a couple of times I arrived after a wave of fog... he didn't care, as long as I focused on my books.

The rest of the classes were with another teacher, and I can't believe I almost forgot about her. She was transfered from another school, and another one who I believe deserves the shout out. She was on the strict side, but I didn't mind, after all, I was here to work, not slack off. I usually arrived early to sit in the back like I always do, and talking to her, I found her to actually be pretty cool and knowledgeable. Too bad she didn't stay very long, though. I'm going to pull a Kitrax and say she had one hell of a body to boot.

 

I had an incredible History teacher when I was in highschool. Now history is a very touvhy subject and it's also highly political but that man was incredibly clever and so much fun to be around. Iv'e never had such a good history teacher.

I also had a French teacher who was actually Japanese. She was a very learned lady and she taught us French as well as a French teacher would have. She also taught us a few things about Japanese culture and stuff.

In my last years in highschool I had an American teacher from San Francisco and it was just amazing. I was really fond of English by that time but she really made me appreciate the language even more.

I owe a great deal to these teachers. I should add to the list some of the incredible teachers I had at university but the list would probably go on.

Not that I got on well with teachers in general. I tended to be too smart for my own good and some teachers really hated my guts for being contrary or rebellious.

 

Gods, you are a lucky one indeed. Vide my rant a few posts back.

So true. An 'optimal' set of world views and moral codes gets shoved down the unsuspecting student's throat as soon as primary school. Here in Poland much had been changed since the fall of communism in '89, but there is still a long way to go for the schooling systems. That, however, is another story. And a long one at that.

 

I remember what it was like to be a child. Most adults do. What I am talking about is giving children carte blanche to do whatever they wish without consequences and using the old "kids make mistakes" canard as an excuse.

I have no problem treating kids like human beings. But I do have a problem treating them like adults. They are not ready for that sort of thing, and they need guidance, direction, and discipline. They need to learn now that actions have consequences, and that they cannot just blurt out whatever the hell they want or do whatever the hell they want when in a classroom setting.

I've seen kids use the whole "I'm a human being" line when they were called down for doing things like pantsing other students, assaulting other students, or just disrupting the class for the fun of it. What a crock of crap.

 

No problem and I agree with your statement.