The Big Goodbye Thread

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Moving back to Texas over the next two days. This isn't so much a "goodbye" as a "pray to the God of flat tires and infrequent rest stops that I should encounter neither."

Carry on.

 

Going back to my studies again, I might pop in every now and then however, since there's about three weeks for my next exams.

Seeya!

 

Going to Pittsburgh on Monday (and I don't post on the weekends) for 3 weeks which means I can buy lots of cheap GBA, DS and probably Wii games.

Other news is that I have officially multiclassed. Being N.Irish I have a British passport, but still count as an Irish national. Now I have an Irish passport and I can vote in both RoI and NI elections

 

• Consequently to the unfair, out-of-rules, liberty-killer, and dictatorial post of Taluntain below, I prefer to quit Bo'M for three or four months, — at least.

I say good bye to all my friends, sorry to leave you, guys ! If you really want me again, say that among you in the forums.

 

Um, Tal owns BoM. It's his property to with as he wishes. He's God here and what he says is Law.

I, for one, am not sorry to see you leave. Let me get the door for you, bye.

 

Ow! Burn! Sheesh...You mess with dragons in real life, you're toast. Unless you really make an effort to befriend 'em, you don't try to step on their tails. Even then it's got consequences.

Good bye crispy Cal.

 

Well, I *am* sorry that you couldn't find a way to fit in here, Cal.

But let me draw an analogy for you - this isn't Speaker's Corner is Hyde Park, London, UK. It's someone's sitting room - this isn't a USENET newsgroup that is public-domain and essentially owned by no one individual, it's a privately-owned forum, the data of which is stored on server(s) that our gracious host Taluntain pays the bills for.

Essentially, we're ALL guests here (even the mods - they're just asked to be kitchen help ) and as such, we have NO expectations of Freedom of Speech, etc. in someone's private domicile. If you decide to put your feet up on the table after dinner, the host has every right to ask you to take them off his furniture (if not ask you to leave).

Someone once said "My freedom to swing my arm only goes as far as the end of someone else's nose." or something like that - the point is all this sort of thing has to be balanced between one person wanting to express themselves as they wish, and another person wanting to actually comprehend the underlying message (hopefully) the first was trying to convey. And if communication isn't successful, anxiety and tension occur on both sides. AND if that stressful situation carries on long enough, it has an adverse effect on the community itself.

Heck, I can't say I'm any better - when I started out on BoM, I had teething problems, too. In real life, I tend to speak with a LOT of body language and a wide variety of vocal inflection; the words themselves are only a small part of my message.

And with text fora, that becomes a little difficult to convey that the potentially-offensive statement I'm making is actually the opposite of what I believe or feel or am trying to get across, for example. (Heck, I still get in trouble IRL if my audience isn't looking right at me to see my expression )

But THAT is what smilies and emoticons were invented for - to SHOW sarcasm, or jesting intent - to be the 'body language'. Before the advent of .gif images, there was actually the 'colon - right parenthesis' smilie - : ) or or :^) that indicated that a poster was joking, or was laughing about what the last person had said, or just found what they themselves said funny.

And as for bold and italic text, these ARE intended to convey inflection - to stress the important part of a statement. Now again, my IRL speech is rather....well, flamboyant. I'll be in a situation where I have to emphasize every single WORD.

But do you see how meaningless that becomes when printed in rich-text on a screen?

And here's the point that I'm getting to (and there's one failing that I'm still working on - I blather on and on instead of cutting to the chase ) forum posts are NOT verbal IRL conversations. What you say and how you say it with a friend over a few drinks down at the pub is not what and how you say something on a forum such as BoM.

This isn't even a telephone conversation - although it's more analagous to this medium. Think of forum posts as a cross between a hurriedly-scrawled note to a friend or roommate and a publicly-posted memo for the whole office. You have something you want to say, and you're putting it out in written form to an intended audience.

And when you get into written communication, all those old school classes come back to haunt you...

"Know your audience" is one teacher's aphorism that applies here. One has to know HOW the audience expects to read something and tailor one's message to the manner in which they presume so that they will more readily accept that message.

(I hate you, Mrs. Bartlett... )

I post on several different fora, and each of them has different communities with different 'styles' of posting (quite apart from differences in the explicit Forum Rules that each has). As such, I adapt my writing style to suit each audience. Not only that, I also adapt my MESSAGES for each forum. For example, one forum has (coincidentally) a majority of US servicemen(women) and veterans in it; as such, I don't bother to express my true feelings about present US foreign policy, as that audience would not care to hear it, and even if I'm right and they're wrong a) the don't need to hear it, b) I like them as friends and don't wish to anger them, and (not the least) c) the owner of THAT forum would have every right to muzzle/boot me for 'stirring up trouble'. *shrug*

And that's what everyone has to do, every time they post on any forum. (notice how I didn't bold each adjective there? I think I've grown )

Another analogy would be if someone went to a friend's dinner party and, after the good meal was done and conversation started up as the table was cleared, they espoused their opinion that mankind is the pinnacle of evolution on the planet and is virtually expected to expoit every other species for man's benefit...and most of the other dinner guests are members of Greenpeace.

One should expect the rest of the dinner party to hold their tongue at first, but also expect the host/hostess to take the potentially-offensive guest aside and explain 'the lay of the land'.

And if the dissenting guest continues to act in a jarring manner? Would it be unreasonable for the host(ess) to ask them to leave?

Anyways, I'm sorry you have difficulty fitting in here, and I hope you find a community that is more able to comprehend and accept your unique messages in a manner that is more comfortable for you to adapt to.

And even though English is the expected language here at BoM, I hope everyone will permit me license to slip briefly...

bon chance!


Oh, and I can't just let it lie! (Sorry for 'gilding the lily', Tal, but...)
While *liberty* does come before equality, however it still meets 'equality' in importance and does not supercede it. And 'fraternity' - the principle that finds the balance between the other two - implies that both parties to come to an accomodation, not just the many adapting to the one. Sorry, Cal, but I and other gave a lot of ground and while I can't know how much you conceded, it's a shame we couldn't meet in the middle.

 

@ Cal Yhringlor

C'mon, don't get pissed off at that. Even though his request could had been put more politely, all he was really saying was "Please check your typing. We try to maintain the basic level of grammar around here. Thank you." Simply use less smileys, write in sentences, and continue posting.

@ kuemper

You aren't helping the situation any, you know. Acting like a dick for all the new members only discourages fresh thoughts from joining in. Even thought the software is Taluntain's, it's the community which is important. If there were no community, it would be just Taluntain, his rules, and his software. We all have our bad days, but at least we can try to act more politely.

[ November 20, 2006, 17:41: Message edited by: Wordplay ]

 

Don't take it to your heart too much, Cal. Tal isn't a dictator. He just asked you to drop the bold and italics and caps etc because someone has to do it and he's the admin. If you want your posts to stand out, make the content speak for itself. If you shout (caps, bold and others), it will make people hear you, but it won't make them listen. If you take a look at the Alleys or even the Whatnots sometimes, you will notice that a single sentence from the middle of a paragraph and with no bold or italics or caps can be quoted all over. Some people just write a single short post and a whole page of comments springs up. That's because the content speaks for itself. If you overdo the form, you take away from the content.

 

To be fair, Wordplay, he's been told to stop posting like that more than once and he's had 164 posts to pack it in. He's just chosen not to.

 

Um. Okay...

Firstly, I only knew of Cal's presence here because Kuemp emauled me asking for help in understanding what he was saying. She was INTERESTED in what he had to say, but...um, his unique manner confounded that.

When he wasn't understood, or disagreed with, he responded rather poorly. It almost seemed he expected instant acceptance of him and his ideas. Something I've seen hundreds of times on online communities over the years, and that mentality rarely lasts long. Often enough, the new arrival adapts their thinking to fit in with the community. Unfortunately, this is one of the few instances where that didn't happen.

But I have to ask: on what do you base use of the word "all" in your statement above? Falling prey to a little hyperbolic exaggeration? It's okay, we're all naught but human, and all prone to 'fly off the handle' when we see things we don't like.


(Oh, and K? He DOES have a point - quit trying to do HIS job for him! )

 

@Iku-Turso , sorry to hear you won't be around on a regular basis. Study hard and return to us with words of wisdom or words of mirth. Those might be better and actually more usefull.

 

Shooting through for a week but I will be back. You can't get rid of me that easily

 

I'll keep your gem safe for you.

 

I'm off to Australia for me hols will be back about 10th/11th next year, have a good seasonal holidays y'all

 

Enjoy your holidays DS!

 

Can I recomand Melbourne as a destination? Its to bloddy hot everywhere else. (don't go into the bush this time of year, its bushfire seasion)

 

Bye DS. I'll keep your phylactery safe.