The battle of Sorcerer's Place (SP fantasy)

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The hookers run out, with Sniper chasing them, and Bonzo and his 'Everlasting Flail of Firey Exploding Fruit +17' in pursuit! Bonzo appears to be carrying some toilet roll, this is soon thrown after Sniper, unfortunately missing. Out of breath Bonzo swings his flail vainly after the 'pegging it' Sniper, but he's gone too far, even for the 20ft long chains on the 'Everlasting Flail of Firey Exploding Fruit'.

Bonzo settles at just throwing 'inflatable plastic helium filled melons' at Sniper, seeing as how they are exploding now and are everlasting (everytime i throw one from my flail another one is back there in seconds, To Gothmog <cheers mate!> ).

The explosive fruit come close to, but never quite, manage to hit the cowardly fleeing Sniper.

 

Seeing all the riders of Chevalier and Alexander the Great flying to the moon, Sephiroth thinks that this would be a great posibility to train his aiming skills, so he starts to hit every rider with his magic missels

 

<Behind you> says chevalier to Alex, coming to repay his debt. He simply enters turning mode for a short while and the scum makes a big *puff* followed by prompt dispersion

'Now it's high time something be done with the bastard himself' says chevalier looking for the source of evil radiation. He concentrates on evil detection and Spehiroth begins to glow red from SW direction.

'Captain, now you command these brave soldiers'.


<Greetings, Isawien, hope you're having fun>
<Enter the paladin! I've spoilt wine on my dress!>
<Unfortunately, I'm too far away to help you out of it>
<How kind of you >
<Listen, I could chat like that whole night, but we're having a battle here and I would use some archers>
<Is archers all you need me for?>
<As a matter of fact some of those flying pets of yours...>
<Ugh...>
<You know as well as I who's next on their list>
<Ekhm...>
<Darling, I would *really* love to talk to you a bit, but surprisingly I have some evil to smite.>


Chevalier splits the nearest goblin worg rider in two and takes his lance. He pulls at Complete Paladin's Handbottle, spurs his horse a bit and after a long and impressive charge at the sight of which all ladies present have to make will save at -4 or faint, he makes Sephiroth a nice tracheotomy.

'Too bad you can't tell Alex how sorry you are' says chevalier, his own breath resembling Mozart's Lacrimosa in performance.

[ May 11, 2003, 20:42: Message edited by: chevalier ]

 

Good, that Sephiroth had cast stoneskin some time ago, so that Chevaliers attack only pushed him only a few miles away.
Sephiroth mumbles something about Chevalier being a narcissus boy, who only lives in his illusions. And suddenly he remembers one of his beloved spells ! Immeadetly he casts a fantastic spell, he changes Chevaliers gender, so he becomes a woman, and because he's so cute, every man in a radius of three meters have to do a will throw or he falls in love with him...
muahaha laughs Sephiroth in deep satisfaction, and is searching for a place to flee from Chevialettes (thanks Yerril ) revange.

[ May 11, 2003, 21:13: Message edited by: Sephiroth ]

 

Yerril is slightly miffed at the engagement of his loyal Holy Hookers by the scampish Sniper. Running a hand through his pristine locks, his gaze falls on the newly feminized Chevalier. All thoughts of Sepiroth-battling suddenly evaporated from his oft-shallow mind, he bounds forward. Battling would-be suitors aside, he sweeps the swooning Chevalier into his arms and runs nimbly to a romantic plateau overlooking the battle.

Poor Chevaliette has no defense against his irresistable charms, and they are soon enjoying a deeply intellectual discussion with incredibly sexual undertones. Chevaliettes eyes are deep with desire, Yerril's foppish grin deep with... foppishness.

At this point, the scene changes, before it gets too much for a PG-13 rating, and the action once again returns with...

 

8people returns and steps out the shadows. Looking around at the carnage, she smiles. Tracing a pattern in the blood and muttering incantations she summons the eight demonic darknessess, the demons stand tall eminating evil and loyalty to their mistress who summoned them. One where plants die in the surrounding area, another which scorches all around it, a third moving so quickly you can't see it, the fourth seems liquid, the fifth is surrounded by blades, the sixth freezes the air, the other steals air from around it and the final hides in the shadows waiting for a victim to inhabit.

8people laughs as her creatures of destruction move to their work, all controlled by telepathic thaughts. She hopes her training is enough to control them.

8people sends a message to all on the field
<A battle of magic or alignment being saught, fight for your cause against a sorceress of the fifteenth metal, 1st order. And yes, that's pretty good.>

 

On the outside of the room, in a dark corner. Something stirs.
A small, blazing red eye opens from the darkness, the rustle of an almost leathry sound, and the crooning sound of some sort of animal.

Out of the shadows steps a tall girl, covered in light, leather armour. On her right shoulder is a small chain protecter, and ontop of that, sits a small beast. red blazing eyes, bat like wings... And a long, sharp tail, dripping with venom. A wyvern.

The girl twiddles with a small throwing dagger, coated in much the same liquid as the wyverns sting...

She attempts to pick out a target from the bloody mass of people and demons...

 

Lord Keldin Depaara appears, encased in Light and merely viewing the turmoil around the field. So many injured people, so many crazy people, so little logic to the carnage -- it makes his vicious mind wonder "WHY are these whackjobs fighting?" He doesn't wonder for long, though. They are all probably evil, so he summons 4 earth elementals, sends them off in random directions with instructions to attack anything that moves, and teleports away to the Temple of his God, to scry out the havoc four uncontrolled elementals will unleash.

 

8people ponders for a while. She does a few mathmatical equations and conjures a calculator to double check.

She then phases to Sniper, who is allegidly near the crown, and phases him far away, before returning back to where she was.

Noticing Yerrils actions 8peopel summons a succubus to steal his soul. The Succubus takes one look at Yerril and says:
"Yuk, I'm not going near that thing." before sending itself back to the hells. 8people blinks in surprise so lobs a magical sphere of powerful acid towards Yerril.

 

In a bolt of Darkning (evil lightning), Slith appears. He cackles with gleeful abandon at the pitiful fighting going on.

"I, Slith, shall show them a fight!"

Slith's arms move in circulart motions and he begins to chant. Suddenly, the battlefield is a marsh.

"I, Slith, summon the ALLIGATORS OF DARKNESS!!!"

Hundreds upon hundreds of Alligators of Darkness appear from the ground. They begin to shred all creatures in the area.

 

Dalveen then wanders off towards tals tower while lughing at the screams of Alexander as he is massaged by big, fat, hair men. When he gets to tal's tower he finds shura and chucks him out a window
"thats for doing that to my ally Sniper"
shura then falls 300 floors but is caught by a magic matress that just appeared there for some wierd unknown reason
"drat now hes going to want revenge"

 

Slowly Sephiroth is annoyed, that everybody can summon killer monsters, so he speaks a word of power, wich sends all summoned creatures where they belong.

 

Harkle stops finally wailing after his scrolls.

"Th-those were... sniff... CHAAAAARGE!!"

Harkle went really berserk this time. He tries to sting everyone he sees with his tiny dagger, until he falls down.

"No... I'm so tired" He whispers and falls unconscious.

 

8people gasps as her beautiful creatures are returned to their secret hiding place under her bed in her bedroom in England... drat. No longer a secret place.

8people shrugs, they had started to chat up the alligators so she didn't mind.

8people extends the following psionic messages
<Frosty, yo, wanna be allies? Oh yeah, reply to the e-mails or the wyvern gets it.>
<Slith, your dark powers are impressive, perhaps an alliance?>
<Chevalier, even the most noble paladin needs allies, ditch the squire and I'll help your quests.>

 

It has been very quiet in the invisibility sphere for a while after sniper went in and chased all the holy hookers out of there. Suddenly Apeman (who caused it all) came out of it, with a satisfying look on his face he straightened his crotch.

"Come my friend" he told his faerie dragon, "I'm hungry once again, let's go to bonzo's hotdog stand"

"Hi bonzo 2 hotdog's please and do tell us what happened while I was eeeeehh busy"

"well" began bonzo. "we've had some demon summonings, for a while there the arena was transformed into a marsh and alligators were attacking, someone opened a massage parlor over there, and some poor fool lost his armor"

"so the usual I hear, what about that alliance Bonzo, what should be our plans, me and morgoth (if he gives me directions ) will join you and your hotdog stand of dominion"

 

8people taps Apeman on the shoulder
"I wouldn't eat that, it's not cooked properly. You might get... ill." 8people stabs Apeman in the back before sneaking away, leaving Bonzo one customer short.

 

@8people: I shall ally with you as long as you don't let that meddling paladin get in the way.
@Chevalier: Stop meddling with the ascent of evil!
@Sephiroth: No. The alligators all make their Will saves and remain as my lapdogs.
(maniacal cackling)

A Throwing Dagger of Insolent Fool Destroying +10 appears in Slith's hand. "Sephiroth, I, Slith, Shall destroy you!"

The dagger is thrown straight towards the traitor to evil at an enormous velocity and it...

 

Bonzo and Apeman discuss plans over tasty 100% meat product hot dogs! "Well sniper ran off, with the hookers. Mediv, well i KO'd him" Bonzo grins at this point, then continues "Dalveen dealt with that big horsey army of alexander and chevaliers. Then there was a big summoning fest, alligators and demons and the whatnot. Sephiroth over there" Bonzo points at Sephiorth, 'enjoying' (if that is the right word) a genuine burger, filled with many parts of a gobbo, "sent them all away, with style. Meanwhile yerill and chev have gone off for some 'hot lovin !' " Bonzo shakes his head, trying to dislodge the horrible mental image.

"On a more serious note 8people and Frostbite have entered the fray. 8people seems to be attempting to create a 4-way alliance between the force of good that is chevalier, and the force of alligator evil, (slith), incorporating Frosty and herself. However i somehow doubt chevalier will want to be allied with someone who is even slightly evil, so that alliance ain't going to be happening anytime soon, thankfully." Bonzo munches on a hot dog "So all in all things are pretty balanced, what we really need is some potted plants and pink flamingos, then this place could be really up market. Oh and poisoned hot dogs, just in case."

 

(the dagger) Stops at Bonzos hotdog stall for a quick bite before continueing its journey. With a new poisoned ability added

8people phases over to Slith and smiles
"Pleasure doing business, and don't worry, nobody will get in your way." she phases over to Bonzo and glares at him.
"I have reasons, Bonzo, would you like to ally with me?"

 

Apeman was luckily unhurt by 8peoples attack, since he had eaten on of Bonzos special hot dogs of damage absorbption. 8people's dagger on the other hand has just eaten a posioned hot dog (of enfebeelment), that'll teach you to attack my ally! That dagger ain't gonna stab anyone anymore.

8people, "to your request i have this to say" Bonzo draws the Everlasting Flail of Firey Explosive Fruit +17 and begins to swing it in the air towards 8people. "For the goodness of the burger!!" < whata battlecry