The adventures of REAL Man (SoA)

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Real men like challenges.
They play on the hardest possible game level.
Have fun!

 

Kailynne, in a real game REAL Man wouldn't know that... but in a real game, it wouldn't be true! The "strand somebody in Spellhold" thing is so artificial, based solely on a computing constraint, that there is no way to justify it from a role-playing perspective. Why would anyone leave behind a friend/useful companion in an inaccessible insane asylum? So in an attempt to keep this thing from ruining the storyline, if a PC doesn't have Yoshimo in his party, I usually make them cognizant of the fact that there is an artificial meta-force that mysteriously prevents them from ever having a seventh person in the party, and plan accordingly. It's not like Spellhold would have been the first time they noticed this fact anyway. (-:

*************

Okay, speaking of Spellhold, we last left our hero dubiously getting on a boat captained by the biggest pansy he'd ever seen, a pirate named Saemon Havarian who had an even stupider accent than Anomen. Well, beggars can't be choosers. Brynnlaw was safely reached, but Saemon tried to betray them all to vampires. Another vampire fight. And with only five people. Great. Fortune smiled on me this time, though, and the party won on their first try. Down a few restoration spells, they began to explore Brynnlaw. There isn't that much in Brynnlaw. REAL Man killed a pimp who was terrorizing some local kids. Then he went to go talk to the contact the Shadow Thieves suggested, but he was murdered by an evil madam, so REAL Man went and whacked her too. These islanders are very weak compared to the fights a party has to win to make it here. Perth the Adept was dispatched with similar ease. Is the Book of Infinite Spells cheese? Currently it just casts fireballs, which are not cheesy. REAL Man has tentatively decided it's OK as long as no one starts saving and reloading to get the page set to a better spell. Minsc convinced the Pirate Lord he was insane (not a difficult task,) and off to Spellhold we went.

There, REAL Man encountered his one-time BG1 companion Tiax. REAL Man always did think this gnome belonged somewhere like this. He met some other crazy people too, and eventually found Imoen. Unfortunately, she was now insane. Finally Irenicus teleported in, taunted us a little, and then used some unbelievably cheesy tactic involving sleep spells AND traps to put REAL Man in a tank, give him a nightmare, and steal his soul. REAL Man hates this cheez-wiz more with each passing session. Eventually REAL Man sweet-talked Bodhi into letting him go (well, actually, she would have done it anyway, but REAL Man overestimates his charm,) and then was finally reunited with his sister. Oddly, she seems not to be insane anymore. That was a fast recovery.

Then the party started working their way through the cheesiest damn dungeon REAL Man had ever been in. The whole thing was like one big game show with spiffy overpowered items behind every door in the place. Who built this thing!?! Well, after discarding enough cheesy magic items to make Ribald wet his pants (he'd take them all along to sell for cash, but the Bag of Holding is cheesy), REAL Man learned the answer: Dace Sontan, who by the way is not only insane but also a vampire. The insane vampire was killed and staked, and the team passed to a new game-show level, where they encountered Bodhi again. Then REAL Man turned into a REAL Monster. Bodhi ran away, and the rest of the party, not knowing exactly what to do, did too. Eventually REAL Man turned back to normal, and the party decided it was definitely time for a rest break.

Unfortunately, during the rest break, REAL Man turned into the Slayer again and tried to kill Viconia, so it wasn't much of a rest break. Jaheira cast Ironskins on herself and stood in his way until he turned back to normal. That is one *damn* tough druid! Viconia, meanwhile, seemed to be turned on by the whole experience. REAL Man pretended not to be disturbed by that.

It hadn't been much of a rest, but REAL Man wasn't going to spend one more minute in this cheesy dungeon. Onward to Irenicus!
Till next time...

 

Cheese, cheese, cheese. If it weren't for this word, there would be no story! 8-)

And "one tough druid"! I like that. There're a lot of comments on this (and other) board(s) about how poeple dislike Jaheira's looks or voice or whatever. However, she can a real asset to any party. I tend to think of her as one of the women from the show The Gladiators. Tougher than nails and ready to prove it.

Good luck in fish city and the Underdark.

 

Well, it would be pretty easy to dislike Jaheira in BG1. I think that is where most of the complaints come from. However, she is definitely one of the better characters in BG2.

 

That complaining is normal, pure D&D based. Jaheira has a Neutral alignment and as Druid she also goes for balance, so when you with your party has a reputation of 20 she will think you go to much for good and she will complain for she wants balance in the party.... So you can satify her easily. You should also find a balance, between your way of thinking and her, between good and neutral. Then you can be both satisfied. When you only act the way you think it's best, it normal that she will complain.

 

Well, REAL Man made it to the Underdark. First he passed a very cheesy psychological evaluation by a hologram, then he survived a battle he still has nightmares about with Irenicus. Not because it was a hard battle, which it wasn't. Because it was the cheesiest damn fight he'd ever been in! The six madmen cast all kinds of lame-ass spells, and as for the cheez-wiz Irenicus, don't even get REAL Man started. There was no way to stop the madmen from breaking all REAL Man's rules, though, so he just gritted his teeth and went on. Then Saemon Havarian offered him a lift to Suldanessalar if REAL Man would only help him find a boat. He was a pansy and also a traitor, but it still seemed like a better bet than jumping into a portal the cheez-wiz had conveniently left open for him, so REAL Man agreed. Saemon wanted REAL Man to sneak into the house of the Pirate Lord's girlfriend and steal a horn from her. Hah. REAL Man sneaks nowhere! He barged right in on the girlfriend in bed with some other guy. They grabbed their clothes and ran out, screaming for the guards. Hey, if Saemon wanted subtlety, he should have picked someone else for this job. Bringing the horn back, the party was confronted by the angry Pirate Lord, who killed his unfaithful girlfriend and then tried to kill us. Easy fight. Then Saemon tried to give us a piece of a cheesy vorpal sword. What kind of a reward is that? REAL Man wanted to reject it but the plot wouldn't let him. Furious, REAL Man threw the piece of crap on the floor of the boat as some githyanki attacked. Saemon then lamely tried to pin the blame for the theft of the sword on REAL Man. Now, REAL Man could have put up with the betrayal, but Saemon had just critically insulted REAL Man's honor by claiming he would ever have stolen such a cheesy thing as a vorpal sword! REAL Man left Saemon Havarian a grease spot on the deck, and then the ship sank.

Sushi Village was a breeze. The only thing in it that was hard, oddly enough, was the blood pit with zombies and stuff in it. Had to reload that one. REAL Man threw away the Cloak of Mirroring, one of the cheesiest items in the game. He sided with the prince over the king; the prince seemed much manlier. Then the party climbed down a magical rope into the Underdark.

So far, all we've done in the Underdark is learn that REAL Man is congenitally incapable of killing mind flayers. The party of three in the northwest part of the map made mincemeat of us every time. You just can't kill those guys without *SOME* kind of tactics. Luckily, you don't actually have to go into any of the areas where they are, but I think there's no choice but to fight some on one of the drow quests. We'll see what happens, I guess.

Further bulletins as events warrant...
L

 

Well, either you are having much more luck than I or you are just a better player as I am having serious problems with the Kuo Toan Prince... SOB won't die!

Good luck as you have reached the spot where I am... and I seem stuck again.

 

Aren't you supposed to contaminate something with tainted tadpoles to make that prince (who wasn't mentioned in the story) easier?

Anyway, this is a great story, keep up the good work!

 

No, no, the sahaugin prince, not the kuo-toan prince. I haven't even gone into the kuo-toan area yet. Hard to keep all these amphibious princes straight, I know... (-: REAL Man didn't kill the sahaugin prince anyway; he joined him, and killed the loopy king. The way that king giggled was just too wrong.

Kailynne, you're further ahead of me than you think. So far all REAL Man has done in the Underdark is try and fail to kill those three illithids, then go to that machine where the souls were trapped and get his ass kicked repeatedly by the lich. I think REAL Man is just going to fail to notice that machine. I did my first time through, and I like to think *my* intelligence is higher than 8. (-:

 

Well, I tried to just sneak through the Kuo Toan dungeon without doing the Adalon/Drow city stuff... I didn't want to mess with any of the Matron Mother garbage.... So, the tadpole question did make a difference ot my situation.. but only from an immediate survival point of view.

That trapped souls thing is only applicable if you cast Freedom in that area. I don't figure that my guy is smart enough to do that... If yours is, well, that is how you see him, though rereading your last entry, I think you and I agree that 6 INT is too low ...

But, you and I are within a few challenges of each other gamewise, I believe. You caught up to me when I stopped for a day or two and then when I ran into the problems with the Prince....


[This message has been edited by Kailynne Johanne (edited October 16, 2001).]

 

Oops, no, not THAT trapped soul. *laughs* We're talking past each other a lot today, aren't we? I mean the machine that has six "facets," and if you touch each one, it releases a lost soul. The svirfneblin kid is in one of them. In another is a lich. Using foreknowledge to touch only the less dangerous facets would be cheesy, so REAL Man is just going to fail to notice the machine, at least for now.

There's a lot of good experience in that drow city. If I can get inside it'd definitely be worth my while to muck around in at least part of it. You already hit the XP cap, so it may not be worth the hassle for you. Though I forget if there are any good items for Lerrahud in there...

 

I believe there's a misunderstanding again. The only thing you have to do to release trapped souls is to manipulate a machine in the main cavern, but beware though, some of them are pretty nasty. That imprisoned mage is another thing.

Edit: Seems like I was too slow, but also that I was right...

[This message has been edited by Namuras (edited October 16, 2001).]

 

Oops, my mistake again.. That has to do with the portals and elementals thing... My bust...

 

REAL Man is still stuck in the Underdark. He can't kill the Balor. Without buffing spells, the damn thing stuns, holds, and panics the entire party. I've tried this fight a few times, and been crushed each time. It would work to leave a couple of the spellcasters neatly out of range of the stun spell to dispel it, but that would be foreknowledge and hence cheesy. REAL Man's party also has a very limited set of weapons that can hurt this thing--the Impaler spear, Lilarcor and the Blade of Roses (both usable only by Minsc), and, I think, Jaheira's club. Damage spells have been useless, and Lower Resistance is cheesy.

I'll keep trying when I get more time/energy. It would really be a waste for REAL Man to leave the Underdark without getting any of the experience/loot from down here, which he can't do without killing the Balor. The stuff he left undone in Athkatla is not stuff he's any more capable of dealing with now. Maybe if he gained a couple levels, he'd have a chance. Or maybe not. But giving up on the Underdark really doesn't bode well for his chances against even the Shadow Dragon, much less a lich or Firkraag.

I'll get back to you when/if I have more news. I'm getting very demotivated to continue this, given that the game has devolved into boring reloading of a fight I'm not allowed to win and the last challenge I spent time working through has been deleted from the board and now feels like effectively wasted time.

L

 

I have a point of advice to offer, although you may disagree with my interpretation. Perhaps, once the Balor appears, it is not cheesy to hit it with lower resistance from your mages, so that they can unload all their neat, impressive, non-cheesy, damage spells. This might help, but maybe its still cheese. He's your character, after all.

 

Not sure what level you're at, but my clerics ALWAYS have a copy or two of Bolt of Glory memorized. Four Bolts of Glory are plenty to take down the Balor; if you have +5 weapons, you should be able to take him out with no preparation (if you have two clerics). I don't recall his magic resistance being that high, but I could be wrong, as it's been a few months ago.

EDIT: Incidentally, as long as it takes them to summon the Balor and all, you have plenty of time for party members to react in whatever way they wish to. By the time the Demon got done talking, both my clerics had nearly finished Bolt of Glory as the fighters were trying their best to hit him.

[This message has been edited by Capstone (edited October 19, 2001).]

 

tjekanefir - I feel your pain man. I really do. This fight is a bitch to start with if you are not buffed. And, failing to do so means that he has the advantage, I feel. So, the question comes from what you remember the svirfneblin saying in the quest giving dialogue that might allow at least a little buffing due to that foreknowledge. Even one thing like swigging a potion of magic resistance could help if you can see your way to allowing that.

I know it's a pain, however....

Then again, if you can't do the Balor, if you go back and kill the svirfneblin who gave you the quest, does he cough up the required-to-get-into-Adalon's gem stone as loot? If so, that could be a way around the problem should you figure a way to role play that decision instead....

As I said, I feel your pain.. Good luck with it.

 

I have to agree with Kailynne: I think even a REAL man would be willing to do some combat prep if he knew there was a powerful enemy just in the next room. It's your game, though

 

"Lower Resistance" was specifically on the cheese list, and hence verboten. And REAL Man can't get the gem from the svirfneblin without killing the Balor, because pickpocketing and attacking a non-hostile are both against his cheese code. Well, we knew this was going to be tough when we started it. (-:

"Bolt of Glory" is a nice straight damage spell, though, so I may try that. I'm very reluctant to start down the slippery slope of combat buffing just because REAL Man knows there's an enemy in the next room but it can't hit him yet. I could make the same argument for any big, non-hostile dragon sitting there. REAL Man would know he was going to be attacking that, too. But I may let some of them drink some potions once the Balor has appeared and turned red--it's their combat round, at that point, and if the clerics can resist being stunned, maybe they can dispel it on the others and get those bolts of glory off.

Let you know how it works out. Usually this guy is no problem at all... even my solo mage wiped the floor with him. But I'm usually big on pre-combat buffing, I confess.

[edit]

All right, it worked! "Bolt of Glory" is a butt-saver, man. I don't think I'd ever even used it before today, I must confess. I think I woefully underutilize clerics most of the time. REAL Man also had to let his party drink some anti-magic potions, which they bought from the duergar, but they didn't drink them till the demon was already there and red. Jaheira died in this fight. She got stunned and the Balor beat her to death. On the other hand, due to her ironskins this took him a startling amount of time, during which REAL Man's Impaler spear and Viconia's bolts of glory did enough damage to the beastie to carry the day. Jaheira got a medal of honor and a raise dead spell, and the party slept.

WHEW!

More later...

[This message has been edited by tjekanefir (edited October 19, 2001).]

 

Keep it coming REAL Man is my idol i want to be just like him