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Short stories/poems

Discussion in 'Creativity Surge' started by The Magister, Oct 18, 2006.

  1. The Magister Gems: 26/31
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    Remove all ads!
    I write when I have spare time, and this is posably the makeings of a good story. please tell me what you think.

    Dawn. A grand hall on the second story of a mansion, covered in finery, filled with summer sunlight flowing in through the eastern window. A ball of light appears from nowhere, floating in mid air in the centre of the room above the banquet table. The globe expands suddenly and flash of light, a whoosh of displaced air and a shower of sparks signals the arrival of a man from the now human sized globe of light. He is flown from the ball of light by an unseen force and flies backwards across the room and crashes into a pillar and, as he falls to the ground, the ball of light disappears. The man groans in pain then attempts to stand up. He manages and walks over to the window, rubbing a sore spot on his back, and throws open the glass window pain.
    The gardener later told the lord and lady of the manor that he “… saws a winged man a flying away from your lordships window, on me mothers grave I swears I did…”

    Please tell me what you think. ;)

    Edit: Some new works of mine are poetry. Just wanted to know what people think.

    [ September 27, 2007, 17:14: Message edited by: The Magister ]
     
    The Magister, Oct 18, 2006
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  2. Barmy Army

    Barmy Army Simple mind, simple pleasures... Adored Veteran

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    Too many 'ands'. There must be average of about 3 per sentence, try and think of different ways to explain things. I'd also say you've taken 'short story' to the extreme there.

    Not that I'm an expert on this or anything.
     
    Barmy Army, Oct 18, 2006
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    Knew it sounded wrong somehow. Thanks for the input. Does anyone else have a short story?
     
    The Magister, Oct 19, 2006
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  4. Daie d'Malkin

    Daie d'Malkin Shoulda gone to Specsavers

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    I have a short story. It's wonderful. It makes me happy
     
    Daie d'Malkin, Oct 19, 2006
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    Do you think you could put the story in the forum? Please?
     
    The Magister, Oct 20, 2006
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  6. Splunge

    Splunge Bhaal’s financial advisor Adored Veteran Pillars of Eternity SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!) Torment: Tides of Numenera SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!)

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    I think he just did.
     
    Splunge, Oct 21, 2006
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  7. Daie d'Malkin

    Daie d'Malkin Shoulda gone to Specsavers

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    Daie d'Malkin, Oct 21, 2006
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    Makes mine look bad. Keep them comeing
     
    The Magister, Oct 24, 2006
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  9. Daie d'Malkin

    Daie d'Malkin Shoulda gone to Specsavers

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    Daie d'Malkin, Oct 25, 2006
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  10. The Magister Gems: 26/31
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    Memories are life.
    Free thought is the blood which flows through the canals of the mind.

    Without memories we have no identity, with no free thought we have no mind.
    Individuals without thought are not individuals, just as a person without memories has no sense of self.

    Controlled thought is not thought, thus controlled thought destroys an individual.
    Cherish every memory, because they make you who you are. To forget is to never have known, thus knowledge is lost.

    People are alive as long as they are still thought of, kept in spirit in the memories and minds of people.

    Never forget.
    Always remember…

    …Because you would not be who you are without them.
     
    The Magister, Sep 27, 2007
    #10
  11. Nakia

    Nakia The night is mine Distinguished Member ★ SPS Account Holder Adored Veteran Pillars of Eternity SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!) Torment: Tides of Numenera SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!) BoM XenForo Migration Contributor [2015] (for helping support the migration to new forum software!)

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    There are 15 pages of Creative Surge and lots of short stories including my bit.

    Poems too and some stories not so short.

    @Daie. I remember those stories of yours. Liked them. You should do more.
     
    Nakia, Sep 28, 2007
    #11
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