Serious talk about a neglected matter

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My advice is look elsewhere for help and not on a messageboard in a place like SP.

Don't get me wrong it's not that I think ill toward the people or their opinions, or intentions, it's just that in here you will get so many different opinions and idea's it will probably only add to the confusion, I'd suggest looking around on the internet or calling the kids help line if you're under 18, or otherwise seek professional help, because you will likely get more sound advice from people you know more about you're situation then a handful of people on a message board who literaly know's nothing about you or your girlfriend.

 

I would suggest forgetting about it completely and go and have some fun, don’t get to involved with anyone at your age and no you wont meet the “right” person at your age either.

No offence chevalier, but you are young and you do not know as much about this as you think you do.

 

Actually, I don't really believe in soulmates. No matter the age.

Actually, age itself cannot matter. There's no base to that. Experience may, sure. Just how much experience do you need to encounter someone? To recognise the right one, sure. But not to meet him/her.

Right persons are many and some right for good, while some are right for your present moment and will not always be. And you can't tell the future. One doesn't know what will happen in a month, a year, let alone ten years.

Observations dictate that people screw up early relationships or don't know what they want and so go for wrong persons. The probability of finding your final partner early is low, but still not null. The probability of finding a good, if not final, partner quite early maybe isn't impressive, but is nowhere close to null.

I hope this helps.

 

[Content removed, sanctions pending.] -Tal

[ February 09, 2004, 13:59: Message edited by: Taluntain ]

 

This post has been deleted as it has no more use
(replies to post above)

[ February 14, 2004, 00:05: Message edited by: Nameless One ]

 

@ Chev - you make an interesting point about my ex, and one I had not previously considered. Granted, it ultimately doesn't matter what the reason is now, given that I'm about 6 years removed from the situation and married to someone else, but still, it bears some consideration. Srill, while we were together for a long time before getting engaged, that was mostly because we were both in undergraduate school, and knew we couldn't realistically get married before completing our education. Of course, that goes back to your statement - perhaps she wanted me to get engaged before that. I guess the bottom line is only that person truly knows what they are feeling. Whether we think about our past relationships, or try to help with a particular one, the only people who have a chance to really know what's going on are the people involved.

 

Very right, Aldeth. That's why I believe one should give guidelines and help analysing things rather than hand in ready answers. People not personally involved are helpful in that they're impartial and sober about it. They don't bear grudges or suffer from wounds. They're usually unbiased, too.

I've had some time with psychology books - characterology and communication mostly - as well some some time with real people in real life situations, and so I've learnt to see more and hear more. Or rather look and listen more, for that's really the case. In most cases I'm easily able to tell what the person is feeling, thinking or really trying to say. Some of my relationships-that-weren't-meant-to-be follow this pattern:

1. Initial signal. Zeal. Call. Whatever. Almost always something special, like two strangers picking one another from crowd.
2. Abysmal level of mutual attraction. Stories to tell to grandchildren.
3. A series of meetings and getting to know each other, while building a surprisingly good, without-words, understanding and strong bond.
4. A barrier starts to rise.
5. Everything still seemingly works.
6. Doubts arise on one side (or both).
7. It seemingly works, but some things don't work as before. Or just don't work.
8. It ends up as friendship.

Basically, eight stages over any period between a few days and a few months. I guess it's longer for people who don't get certain signals and don't get to talk openly. Or simply have more optimism. They end up in relationships that will eventually blow up or even are known to be going to blow up in the future (this also happens, even if it's surreal). Not like I'm an expert, but to me things look like this.

 

Maybe you're not an expert, but you give sage advice nonetheless. If everyone looked at things as objectively as you tend to do, we wouldn't have a 40% divorce rate.

 

I don't see what was soooooooooo bad about what Shura said. It was mean, that's true. Funny? Maybe so.

But, all in all, it might serve a very important cause - to give a cyber "snap out of it!"

Many people get into wallowing and self-pity and the usual "Why? Why? Why?" lament. They only get out of it when someone comes along jumpstarts the system.

Hopefully this happened and he is in the process of getting over her.

(Edit)

I didn't notice that Shura had a post removed/sanctioned? What did he say? Someone PM me, please.

 

Been there, done that. This is common of girls to not pay attention to you. I can give you a 99% probability that she does not want to continue your relationship. I don't think you can "Drop her like a bad habit" because you've already been dropped my friend.

Don't worry anyway. One girl down and you do realise that half of the human population is female right? There WILL be another one and that one probably will have the decency to be honest with her feelings.

(By 15+ I take it you are 15-16?)

P.S: PM me too, Shura, quite interested in what that was.

 

Redemtion, honestly, you come to the boards seeking answers, and have no doubt been speaking to friends and family as well, but...Well, coming from someone who's been around the block a few times (I'm 31) and who is going through something similar right now, let me tell you this: No advice, no matter how sage, is going to get through to you as long as you are as in love with this girl as you seem to be. It's going to hurt for a while, and nothing but time is going to make anything any better.