Relationship Rant Thread #5

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I'm starting to get a long overdue peace of mind since parting ways with my ex.

I went to a party at a friend's place, and she made an appearance (we do have some common friends), and I didn't gave a flying [snip]. We're not friends, but as long as she doesen't stir the s***, then we're cool.

One could argue I was also probably flying too high to even notice her presence.

 

Can one say to be living in celibacy if one's been celibate for over a week

I'm becoming a frigging monk. Or a questionable saint. Hooray.

I don't mind. Seriously.

 

Ha, my eyes and ears reported to me that despite the first impression of her just not giving a damn about me, that [snip] ex of mine keeps badmouthing me. Looks like somebody is in for a verbal demolition by this SOB. I was hoping it wouldn't come to this. I hoped she just would shut the F up and lay low, but no.

 

The tale of my whacky flatlass and my *****y flatlass

My two flatlasses are moving out. Good riddance I say. I learned from it by receiving an errant SMS.

As for flatlass no.1, she is lesbian, and in her coming out phase (which is exhausting, because homosexuals coming out are obnoxious, and in my experience the probably least stable and most egocentric persons to meet, short of my paranoid coke snorting gay ex boss). She has other issues as well, namely me 'intruding into her circle of friends'. I need to go back a little to explain: When her 'best friend' came to visit flatlass last year said 'best friend' spontaneously fell in love with me and we had a few months of an intense if platonic relationship - which ended abruptly, after a message from my flatlass to 'best friend'. After that 'best friend', shaken, pathetically declared that she doesn't want to 'stand between me and flatlass' and some other nonsense, and cut contact. Haven't heard of her since. Sadly, I didn't do anything then.

Now, to exacerbate everything, we work in the same company, luckily in different departments. Funniest bit - I helped her get the job. Now, after working in the same department before, we do have mutual friends among our colleagues, and we do things together, like going out - fancy that. After said platonic relationship with 'best friend' ran into that dead end, I developed interest in a colleague who happened to have become flatlasses new surrogate best friend. Again the attraction was mutual, to flatlassess apparent utter horror. I committed the great folly of talking about my interest with flatlass. I didn't drop the ball, and eventually I was everywhere! It, I, became too much for her! In her little universe she had no choice but to move out, to keep our friendship intact restore the status quo ante and get things back in order So she again got into contact with her former 'best friend' and through manipulation, freak accident or sheer idiocy and low self esteem on the part of 'best friend' she got her to apologise! For what? ... neglecting ... abandoning ... not preferring her over a prospective boyfriend?! Yuck! Outrageous! If anything 'best friend' is victim, not culprit. But she repented and received forgiveness. Unhealthy! Creepy! Somebody (else) save those nut jobs from themselves!

That silly, confused wench has a weird, functionalistic and very possessive understanding of friendship. Friendship appears to be a zero sum game to her, along the line: If my 'best friend' is someone else's best friend, I have less. She doesn't share friends, she owns them. When she had a relationship the question of status was very important to her - was it 'friends' status, or 'relationship' status? She talked about that a lot, I presume because it had relevance with respect to the property rights. Judging by her talking, in her circle of friends everybody serves a designated function - best friend, best surrogate friend, best straight pal, best gay pal, you get the idea - and she has something like a moronic master plan to get really really happy in three months. Something tells me that isn't going to work, and yes, I say that with some glee because I am still pretty angry at her. I am at a loss over such garbled thinking, but alas, I have to deal with its manifestations. In any case, in her world there is no place for a villainous flatmate who tries poaching on her best friends, and is apparently perceived as a credible rival. I presume moving out is her way to pay me a compliment.

Now I am certain that moving out won't solve her real problem at all. IMO she is well advised to seek counselling, not a change of residence, but I won't tell her because I am not her therapist but just her soon-to-be-rid-of-her ex-flatmate. This problem is going to re-manifest itself rather sooner than later but that is strictly her own problem and not mine. In that respect, her moving out is good news. It is indeed a good thing, and it will be nice to live in my flat again without having to watch my mouth and my back. It's just that tortured reasoning that made her do it that kills me. I can de- and reconstruct it and get a pretty clear picture, but it remains an alien, illogical, garbled mess to me.


As if my whacky flatlass no.1 wasn't enough, flatlass no.2 tops her in her own, special way - by simply being herself: When no.1 told her she wanted to move out, she spontaneously decided that she would join her to share a new flat so she wouldn't need to adapt to a new person. Not that she ever voiced complaints about me or the flat or anything else. She simply said she sees her choice as more advantageous for her. A little too opportunistic for my taste, and I won't miss her after that - but I am seriously disappointed because that one came out of the blue for me.


And now I have the hassle of finding new flatmates or flatlasses. Well, of course they will have to care about that, but I'll still have to take care to meet the candidates and all that. One thing fore sure, no more Kindergarten for me. I will try close this chapter in a dignified way.

 

The verbal demolition is done. I was so F'N POed that to give a comparaison, think of a planetary atomic WW3. I had the unexpected backup of her older sister, which pretty much is the only one in her family who understands my point of view and doesen't see me as a player who jumps the fence like it's an olympic sport. I got my point across, and the bridges are burnt. I specifically told her to stop badmouthing me, because what goes around comes around.

 

Wow, RRT being this dead is unusual.

Quick update on the ex - the psycho [censored] twisted the truth to make me look like an evil player which jumps the fence like it's an olympic sport, and by ricochet, she was the poor little victim of my evil machinations.

Well, 99.9% of her family believe me. Except her oldest sister. Against all odds, she doesen't buy her sister's crap (she heard my side of the story) and decided to side with me. She's a nice enough gal, she reminds me of her sister but minus all the psychoness.

Oh, yeah... my ex's new bf confronted me about what happened between me and her... I just told him to FOAD, that this isn't his buisness to get involved in. He started threatening me, I whipped out Puters' Bane and told him he chose the wrong guy and the wrong day. He scampered away like a scolded dog.

 

I messaged an old friend of mine out of the blue this week -- I didn't spoke with her for easily a year. Myself, my bro and a friend are planning a trip in Chicago next summer, and since she lives there, I thought it would be a good occasion to fulfill an old promise I made to her - that when I'd find myself in Chicago, we'd meet up for a couple of Margaritas and some food at a Mexican restaurant she knows.

The bottom line is, she was *very* happy to hear from me... and told me she's up for the two of us meeting up... specifying it could not necessarely be at that Mexican restaurant (she said "whether it's the Mexican place or whatever" and that "I'm not bent on Mexican"). She and I have known each other for... hmm... three years and a half now, and we've already determined there *is* mutual attraction. Add to the mutual attraction the fact that she's mentioned our meeting might not be at that Mexican restaurant... a part of me believes that either: A) There is more than meets the eye B) She has an agenda for me C) She just wants to have a good time with me D) All those answers. I personally believe the correct answer to be D.

 

It's a D. Make that a double? Chi! Ca! Go! *starts swinging pom-poms*

Heh. I, on the other hand (which one, left or right?), have gone completely bonkers over a woman.

She talks crazy. Sometimes I can make almost no sense at all of what she's saying. I love it. She speaks like poetry. It is absolutely fascinating. (Duh, sure I can make enough sense that a dialog is possible)

She asked me out. For a cup of coffee. She asked me out! Omigodomigodomigod! She! Asked! Me! Out! I'm panicking! I'll pop a vein in my brain! I'm going batpoocrazy! Gu-gu! Ga-ga!

 

Double D? Nah, too much for me. I do admit the prospest looks good. Hehe... damn, I love the US... it's not set in stone, but I do think this trip in Chicago will be... unforgettable.

Both my bro and my friend have been informed, so they'll be off doing some sightseeing, while I'll be doing some sightseeing of my own.

First date around a cup of coffee is a good start, IMO. Go with the flow and see what happens, though I'm preaching to the choir. She does sound... interesting... from what you say, bro. With a little luck, she won't turn out to be a gigantic catastrophic apocalyptic train wreck.

 

Good luck, Iku. Nice to see you so happy.

Disciple: Have fun in Chicago.

 

The trip is not until July 2009 - I need some serious time to stash aside enough cash for it - there's the trip to pay, and then I need a little cushion aside for my expenses while there. Truth is, I originally planned to do the trip on my own, and my bro and friend said they wanted to join me. *shrugs* Fine with me. But you can be damn sure I'll have a blast there...

Alright, enough RRT hijacking. Iku, let us know how the coffee date goes.

 

So, been exchanging thoughts with her, discussed about enjoying the silence, I said I'd gladly share silent moments with her...

...she said "Let's go somewhere sometime and just be there, quiet"

Oh, yes. This girl's stolen my heart. I'd go to the ends of earth just to be there with her. No words need be spoken. Just like when we stayed up all night. Not that many words were said. Just being there by that bridge when the dawn rose was perfection...

I'm so happy and thrilled it's almost illegal...

 

Iku: Now there's a post that just made my day nicer.

Call me a hopeless romantic - but you two sound lovely together. Kudos, Iku.

 

Thank you Loreseeker, DoTW. Future is uncertain as always, but now...there's a tingling sensation of well-being for every word she says...quite extraordinary

 

Now that's what I call a pretty darn good start, bro! The fact the two of you are comfortable with silences also speaks volumes. It looks like things are heading the right way with this one - after all the woman woes, it must feel good.

 

Your post brings back memories, Iku.

Sharing silences is good.

 

Sometimes reality is stranger than fiction. Since I begun hanging out with my ex's older sister, I don't know what the hell happened in my ex's head, but suddenly, I'm no longer a machiavelic player who jumps the fence like it's an olympic sport, she's a hothead, and she feels she blew our friendship to pieces, and made a (pathetic) attempt at patching things with me... and said she hopes she can earn my forgiveness.

Her sister doesen't seem the slightest bit surprised, and tells me I should just flip her off. Thank you Captain Obvious.

 

I finally met another girl that I like, but once again not so good prospects (for a good reason)...

Met her playing some basketball (she likes it too ) and have seem her around a few times since then. We've kinda flirted around (quite casually) and I haven't noticed her doing that with anyone else it certainly is good, lol. BUT (there's always a but ) I recently found out that she has a boyfriend of sort of long term, which of course means not good prospects. The thing is though, since there is no reason that I should know she has a boyfriend, and I don't know the guy, I feel no guilt in continuing my endeavor. I know that's generally a low blow, but until I meet the guy it feels like he doesn't exist. Overall it's not a great situation, but I'll enjoy it for now... Since she doesn't come of as somebody who teases to be a meanie (very lighthearted nice girl).

Yeah, figured it'd be fun to write...

 

Bless me if her voice isn't the sweetest sound I've ever heard...

 

Careful, that's a good way to get a smack.Stay away if she's got a fella, it's only right.