Relationship Rant Thread #3

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Ain't it the truth. Cheers.

 

Soon me and my gf will be living together in one house
Of course that means more duties etc
But it's worth it!

 

That kind of thing sometimes happens in friendships or between cousins. You can see it as some sort of platonic sparks. It's romantic in a certain way, though far from being unfaithful to whomever one might owe faith.

Get over it. Don't cross her out but don't just keep thinking about her all the time. And get over the my, yours, his, her, kind of thinking. It's not worth it.

 

@Chevalier: Umm, yeah, it's not worth it, but I meant it just as a way of speaking...

Nobody owns anybody in relationships. She's got a mind of her own, I know...If that's what you meant.

And heavens help me, I never would want her to choose between me and her boyfriend. That would be awful. The consequences of such a decision, if she should choose me, would always be in there somewhere, between us in a way or another.

It's better to dream of things never to come, than to have what a lesser part of you wants.

 

If there is something between you and her, it will come regardless of her boyfriend if both of you follow your hearts. Such things are best left to their own course, without external influence whether by pushing it or halting it.

There are many possibilities. Maybe she will come to you, maybe her boyfriend will leave her. Maybe they will both just realise it's not good for them. Or maybe you'll get over it or maybe you aren't her type or maybe it's better for her to stay with her boyfriend and for you to be her friend and find your woman elsewhere.

 

I'm either counting on that her boyfriend will leave her, or that they'd break up in any case, or that I'll get over it, which I eventually will.

However I know for certain that they're not breaking up any time soon, that's not even in the horizon, and that I am going away for at least a year within two months.

So that if we should ever meet again, it would be a matter of chance, or the fates, if you like. And if things would then be different between her and her boyfriend, then we might see how things might work out.

And I don't consider her to be exactly "my type" and vice versa, even though she is absolutely adorable and no matter what she might feel for me. There are some major differences in our way of living our lives that I already see as quite plausible future problems just waiting to rise their ugly heads. So it will be better not ever to let it come to that, better that we will never be together. I think I'll be better off just trying not to think about her. But it's. So. Difficult.

edit: and congrats Undertaker! Get married soon!

[ June 30, 2006, 19:19: Message edited by: Iku-Turso ]

 

I say you'll be the best off if you stop counting on anything except that things will sort out for the best of you... and the natural course is typically the best.

Says the one who never lets things slip out of control for a moment.

 

Yup, it's those things that we can't control which cause the most grey hairs for us control-freaks!

edit: But once again words of wisdom, we can always count on our relationship counselor here at SP, thanks Chev!

 

From many failures comes wisdom. You can always count on me to cite my own experience and tell you what not to do.

 

An ex of mine (who some of you may know, after I made an idiot of myself by crying like a 5 year old girl on here) is trying to get back with me. She's trying to flirt on texts, and is thinking of little reasons to ring me all the time. Whenever I see her, she makes a big deal out of me and asks me to go here or there.
She's a lovely girl, she's got a big heart bless her, but she cheated on me before and I don't think I want to tackle that kind of hurt again!

Think I'll leave it, but I do still have feelig sfor her so it's messing my head up...

Ah well, women, eh?!

 

That's right, you don't want to tackle that kind of hurt again.

 

The pros aren't worth the cons. In your own interests, stand away from her, Barmy.

 

"Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me." Steer clear, Barmy.

If it was me I'd lead her on then dump her the moment she thought she became attached as a means of punishment... but I'm an evil bastard like that.

 

Once again, we don't know all the facts of the situation, Barmy, so we're not really in any position to offer any real advice. But I have seen this stuation arise more times than can be put down to mere coincidence. I have often seen women go through a weird phase a year or so after a break up where they yearn for the guy they broke up with. I have never seen that phase last and in every case, she eventually remembered why she left in the first place. That's all I have to say.

 

Eye for an eye, is it? Haha... I like your style.

You could be a total evil bastard by hooking up back with her, then cheat on her, just to make her feel what you felt. If you believe in vengeance, that is.

 

Oh gods yes, I do.

I'd call it being an educator, not revenge.

 

Hehe, interesting choice of words... I'll be sure to remember it. Good to see I'm not the only one who has retribution as mantra.

 

Ever heard the saying "Eye for an eye makes the whole world go blind"?

 

So, basically, we should take the pain a relationship caused, suck up and live with it like martyrs of Ilmater? Sorry, dear. That's not how it works in my book - and being a strong believer of vengeance, it never will be. Vengeance - or education, as Abomination would say - has been my mantra forever.

 

Another old saying: "When you go seeking revenge, first dig two graves."

I agree with Arabwel. Vengeance is pointless and destructive. Far better to spend your time looking forward to more positive objectives (like forging new and better relationships) and than wasting your time creating even more negativity.