Random Relationship Babbling Thread (alias Relationship Rant Thread #2)

Remove all ads!

First, tone down on the adoration. Girls are quite amazing creatures but they are as mortal as you are. You will notice when you've killed your first. Nah, just kidding.

Seriously, though, don't cling to her like she's your living air and your only hope for survival. Listen to all the people who have something to tell but don't make too much of it, especially if they aren't being particularly coherent.

Girls aren't property, so don't worry too much about his claim to her, if she actually seems to like you that way, which you still need to find out.

Don't freak out about "months of adoration". That's a bit like being reluctant to let go because of all the investment you've made. That's a healthy instinct but remember it would be quite ironic to spend two years in a doomed relationship just because you didn't want to let go of a couple of month's effort of chasing a girl.

Leave the ****ing computer alone, stop freaking out about grammar, friends and the like and go ask the girl. And *don't* deliver a speech before asking her. Ask her about *you*, not about the other guy. If she likes you, the other guy is irrelevant. If she doesn't like you, the other guy is not your problem. As for her friends or other people not liking it, you aren't going out with them.

 

I agree with Chev. I know its hard to do, but just work up the nerve and ask her out. If she says no, she has no taste and it wouldn't be any good, if she says yes, just be prepared for heaven.
As for the guy in the funk, let me talk from experience, as I have periodic bouts of depression (psychologicsl, not reasonable) and my girlfriend, being a psych major, understands. Support, hugs, generally distracting behavior, and see if you can get him to openly talk about it. That's what helps me the most, just ranting for half an hour with my gf listening. She doesn't even need to say anything, just as long as she's really listening, or doing a good job of pretending.

 

I wouldn't ask her out (as in, on a date), but instead ask her if she is attracted to you. And yes, keep it short, something like "Hey, I really like you, and I just wanted to know if you felt the same way." Don't ramble on, and don't take her friends' (or yours friends') answers to be fact. Get it from her.

 

*with blurry eyes*

It's too late... She was asked today by that kid who dumped his GF..... And said yes. the funny thing is it's still 6 F****** weeks til prom.... Woe is me!! WOE IS ME!!! G********** SON OF A ***** MOTHER ****** PIECE ***** ***** OF ******* AAAGGGGHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Stupid small town.... Stupid stupid me... too damn slow...

What now!? WHAT NOW!?

 

How about telling her that you regret not asking her sooner and that you like her-like her and that if she changes her mind about going with the guy, you are more than willing to take her to the prom?

 

Ara makes a good point here, Jigga.

 

Yeah. Besides, what kind of guy it is who dumps a girlfriend to be able to ask a hottie to go with him to a prom?

However, the girl in question has actually accepted. So, either she accepted knowing what he did, or she she accepted a prom invitation from a guy she doesn't know **** about. Either way, I would stay away from that girl.

And there are many girls in the world. More than guys, actually. Hehe. Maybe this is a hint that you should take a wider look and ask someone else?

Oh, and back in the time, my prom date was a friend who had a boyfriend IIRC (don't remember, and we had just one dance in the beginning) and I made a tour of my good friends of whom probably all were taken.

 

Personally, I say let her go. Odds are you wouldn't get along with her in the long run, her being a brainless bimbo (guess) and you a total nerd (educated guess, join the club). Find someone who can match you intelectually, or at least come close. If they don't exist in your area, weep then.

 

Words of wisdom: Don't waste your time with bitches, Jigga. Life's too short for that.

I recently got rid of my own bitch and I can't say I'm sad. More the opposite, actually, I feel like throwing a huge party.

 

You all need to learn to drift through life. You seem to be trying to take too much control. Things tend to blow up when you do that, both figuratively and literally. Just let things happen and learn to coast.

 

With relationships, it's always better to let things develop naturally, of course, and one screw-up won't cross all your potential chances in life, but while obsessions aren't healthy and believing that one is personally responsible for everything isn't healthy, I don't think taking things as they come is always the perfect way. If you keep insisting on drifting, you could end up finding out what the natural course is and following it on your own... which is actually an active action, so... Well, just a thought, anyway.

 

True, true. But if a relationship is unsuccesful for whatever reason, if you took the slice of wisdom to heart, then it was worth it.

 

NOG, she's a freaking genius. Math state champ two years running now. Not a bimbo, a very nice girl... Ask Chev, he'll tell you all about it

AAhh... It's so hard seeing her in all my classes... She wore her hair down today, and I about... Well, that's a little inappropriate I'm gonna follow Ara's advice (thank you!!) and say I regret not asking sooner... Meh..

*listens to "I will survive*"

 

Don't! It will make you chase her prom date!

 

I recently realized that I don't actually even want a relationship right now. I mean REALLY realized. The idea finally sank in..

So now my only problem is to make tell this woman I've exchanged letters with, that I'm:

not really her type (and vice versa...)
not ready to start a relationship right now
not romantically interested in her
and just want to be friends with her

I hope she takes it the right way, and won't be offended. She really is quite interesting, good looking, smart, honest, funny and everything you might imagine, and were I in a different situation in my life I might want think different about this, but now that things are starting to go little too fast it dawned on me that I'm just not ready. I thought I had these feelings for her, but it turned out that I was just alleviating my loneliness with silly ideas.

I don't want to be committed to anyone right now, but the bad thing is that it has probably seemed that way to her, since I really like exchanging thoughts and ideas with her and might have made some innuendoes suggesting otherwise in my foolishness.

I'd really like to have her as a friend and I hope that she doesn't have any ideas further than that. Otherwise this could turn a little ugly.

Edit: all signs point out to 'she won't take it well', and 'you're dead meat'
Sometimes I wish I had even the faintest idea of what I'm actually doing...

[ February 04, 2006, 12:26: Message edited by: Iku-Turso ]

 

Iku, did you ever think of telling her that you're just not ready? I know that if it were me on the recieving end I would much rather have the truth

 

"Seek the truth and it shall make you free."

Always works. Except freedom comes with responsibility, so one isn't always immediately ready for it, but it's always the best way in the long run...

 

My girlfriend and I had our first fight last night, and it was over the stupidest thing. Drunk driving. She was a little drunk and wanted to drive home, I'm so adamantley against drinking and driveing it's not even funny. I already had a girlfriend killed because of a drunk driver. I'm not haveing another one die, because of it.

I ended up grabbing her keys, and pocketing them, until we were ready to leave. When she apologized, she said she knew she was wrong, but she didn't feel as if she could back down, because she had gone so far. It was ****ing stupid, I couldn't believe she would argue to that extreme against me over drinking and driveing. I almost broke up with her on the spot. She doesn't know that, but I almost ended it then and there.

I can't date someone who would endanger themselves and others that willingly. I'm going to have lay down a ground rule concerning that today. If she ever drinks and drives again, I'm gone, ****ing gone. I don't have very many things I take that firm of a stance on, but drinking and driveing is one of them.

 

Shell and Chev are right here, ex-Ichor. Honesty will win the day.

I know too well what it's like. I lost the love of my life and my unborn daughter in an accident involving a drunk driver. It happened nearly 4 years ago.

 

I've got a question...there is this girl who I had dated a year or two ago. I broke up with her because I was moving outside the country hence I hadn't seen her since then until last summer. Last summer when I was back at my country I've found out that she was studying at China and since then I've been in touch with her over online messenger, e-mail or whatnots as a friend. Now here's the question...do you guys think that she would like get back togther if I ask her? or is it just not possible? (sorry for poor English...kinda hard to tell such story like this...and hard to describe details cause I'm not even sure)