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Poetic Surge (Poetry [what else?])

Discussion in 'Creativity Surge' started by Alustriel a.k.a. Ashley, May 9, 2003.

  1. Tiamat Gems: 17/31
    Latest gem: Star Diopside

    Jul 9, 2001
    Likes Received:
    not Blind Teiresias, bluin, Teiresias who is blind. The last stanza is meant to be brief, actually...that seems right to me. And it's definitely not prose, it's a poem.
  2. Kasandra Gems: 2/31
    Latest gem: Fire Agate

    May 14, 2003
    Likes Received:
    Thank you Bluin...the prose was meant to be disturbing. Will try to think of a suitable title.
  3. Tarol'azh a.k.a.Tobias Banned

    Oct 21, 2002
    Likes Received:
    [​IMG] Since you've been gone

    Well, I'm feeling like I've been chewing on tinfoil

    Since you've been gone

    It's like I've got a great big mouthful of cod liver oil

    Well, I'm feelin like I stuck my hand insode a blender an turned it on...you know I've been in a buttload of pain, since you've been gone

    It couldn't be any worse if you dropped a 2-ton bowling ball on my toes

    It couldn't hurt any more if you shoved a red-hot cactus up my nose

    Since you've been gone

    Well, I'm feelin' like I'm gettin tetanus shots every day

    Since you've been gone

    It's like I've got an ice cream headache that won't go away

    Ever since the day you left me, I've been so miserable, my dear

    I feel almost as bad as I did...
    when you were still here :p

    :offtopic: What's this new 'Member of the Week' thing?
  4. Alustriel a.k.a. Ashley Banned

    Apr 2, 2003
    Likes Received:
    Our mortality.

    It can end unexpectedly.

    It gets taken away from those we love.

    It shouldn't happpen, but it does; a crushing blow on our life.

    Life...you only have one. Live it to the fullest.

    Like he did.

    -In loving memory of Tobias-

    [ October 07, 2003, 20:15: Message edited by: Alustriel, a.k.a. Ashley ]
  5. Shura Gems: 25/31
    Latest gem: Moonbar

    Aug 9, 2000
    Likes Received:
    I've read this thread for the first time and I must say that you've done some pretty nice work here.

    Again, let me offer my condolences here and in the forum that I pay the most attention to.

    Perhaps I shall write something in memory of Tobias later.

    As it is, may your wounds heal soon.
  6. Aldazar Gems: 24/31
    Latest gem: Water Opal

    Aug 14, 2003
    Likes Received:
    I just wanted to post a poem I got through E-Mail and through my involvement with Dads In Distress, author unknown. Hopefully it will touch you guys as it did me, I'm just not talented enough to write my own good stuff.

    Even though it ends up being about a specific incident, it begins very much to describe how myself and most other men I've met through DIDs feel about their kids and would like them to understand about us, their fathers, who don't get to see them much if at all. That said, here it is (a tad long):

    Daddy's Day At School

    Her hair was up in a ponytail
    Her favourite dress tied with a bow
    Today was Daddy's Day at school
    And she couldn't wait to go

    But her mommy tried to tell her
    That she probably should stay home
    Why the kids might not understand
    If she went to school alone

    But she was not afraid
    She knew just what to say
    What to tell her classmates
    Of why he wasn't there that day

    But still her mother worried
    For her to face this day alone
    And that was why once again
    She tried to keep her daughter home

    But the little girl went to school
    Eager to tell them all
    About a dad she never sees
    A dad who never calls

    There were daddies along the wall in back
    For everyone to meet
    Children squirming impatiently
    Anxious in their seats

    One by one the teacher called
    A student from the class
    To introduce their daddy
    As seconds slowly passed

    At last the teacher called her name
    Every child turned to stare
    Each of them was searching
    For a man who wasn't there

    "Where's her daddy at?"
    She heard a boy call out
    "She probably doesn't have one."
    Another student dared to shout

    And from somewhere near the back
    She heard a daddy say
    "Looks like another dead-beat dad
    Too busy to waste his day"

    The words did not offend her
    As she smiled up at her mom
    And she looked back to the teacher
    Who told her to go on

    And with hands behind her back
    Slowly she began to speak
    And out from the mouth of a child
    came words incredibly unique

    "My daddy couldn't be here
    Because he live so far away
    But I know he wishes he could be
    Since this is such a special day

    And though you cannot meet him
    I wanted you to know
    All about my daddy
    And how much he loves me so

    He loved to tell me stories
    He taught me to ride my bike
    He surprised me with pink roses
    And taught me to fly my kite

    We used to share fudge sundaes
    And ice cream in a cone
    And though you cannot see him
    I'm not standing here alone

    Cause my daddy's always with me
    Even though we are apart
    I know because he told me
    He'll forever be in my heart"

    And with that her little hand reached up
    And lay across her chest
    Feling her own heartbeat
    Beneath her favourite dress

    And from somewhere in the crowd of dads
    Her mother stood in tears
    Proudly watching her daughter
    Who was wise beyond her years

    For she stood up for the love
    Of a man not in her life
    Doing what was best for her
    Doing what was right

    And when she dropped her hand back down
    Staring straight into the crowd
    She finished with a voice so soft
    But its message clear and loud

    "I love my daddy ver much
    He's my shining star
    And if he could he'd be here
    But heaven's just too far

    You see he was a fireman
    And died just this past year
    When airplanes hit the towers
    And taught Americans to fear

    But sometimes when I close my eyes
    It's like he never went away"
    And then she closed her eyes
    And saw him there that day

    And to her mother's amazement
    She witnessed with surprise
    A room full of daddies and children
    All starting to close their eyes

    Who knows what they saw before them
    Who know what they felt inside
    Perhaps for merely a second
    They saw him at her side

    "I know you're with me Daddy"
    To the silence she called out
    And what happened next made believers
    Of those once filled with doubt

    Not one in that room could explain it
    For each of their eyes had been closed
    But there on the desk beside her
    Was a fragrant long-stemmed pink rose

    And a child was blessed if only for a moment
    By the love of her shining bright star
    And given the gift of believing
    That Heaven is never too far

    Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take...but by the moments that take our breaths away...

    May we never underestimate the value of daddy's everywhere

    I honestly don't know for sure if those last 2 bits were meant to be part of the poem but they came with the e-mail just as you see it all above.
    Anyway, not all dads are dead-beat and I guess this is an example of why you shouldn't judge without the facts.

    Damn that was hard to type without bursting into tears. :wail:
  7. Heh Gems: 1/31
    Latest gem: Turquoise

    Oct 4, 2003
    Likes Received:
    This is my latest creation in poetry matter. Tell me what do you think of it. I hope you'll like it.


    Travelling through dream isles
    I take it and throw it away - the dust.
    Flying back thorough the mist
    He returns where no one seeks -
    To the mountain.
    So that only from the edge
    He can jump again
    To travel further...

    To seek the frozen land,
    To stop the rivers flow,
    To create
    To destroy,
    To see why Jesus’ cross
    Will be carried by both
    The angels of death
    The angels of life.

    So that I may die…
  8. Lokken Gems: 26/31
    Latest gem: Diamond


    May 15, 2001
    Likes Received:
    Oh my god, Aldazar, I hate you! :p

    *wipes a tear away*

    Usually I'm b****y about poety that's long and differ in structure. However, I'm moved beyond words by the essence of the poem.

    'Tis a very good one.
  9. Kasandra Gems: 2/31
    Latest gem: Fire Agate

    May 14, 2003
    Likes Received:

    In a formless fire, the Netherworld trembles,
    the stars are black and the moon is dead.
    All time crushed into an Eternity,
    day is vanquished and night the victor.

    In this darkness Chaos churns again,
    where Demon thoughts, capricious and impulsive,
    can bring no order to the turmoil
    in a world of shadows and madness.

    Springing into sight at the Gates of the Abyss
    appear the Devils, winged and wondrous.
    A powerful flow of wills, all strong and proud,
    out of Pandemonium they have come.

    In this moving twilight they cry out with one mighty voice.
    "Our reign has come, our wills wilt be done, for we shall end what never began.
    Be gone Demons! Back into your dark, dead flames.
    We will not crush you, but must endure your presence as our Lord Satan commands.
    But mark this well, we will tame your swift and reckless forces, as is our right, for we are the Masters of Hell.”
  10. Kaylis Gems: 1/31
    Latest gem: Turquoise

    Jul 27, 2017
    Likes Received:
    I like this poem. I have a poem called Poetic Surges I posted at AllPoetry years ago. There was a time I could enter any of my poems Titles into Google and it would offer up AllPoetry within the 1st half a dozen searches. Not so anymore. But it brought me to this forum and I quite liked your poem...though very different from mine....I enjoyed it all the same.
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