My damned family

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Don't worry about a poor little doggy. Merely go one further. Ruin their young, happy lives (the kids, I mean)...

Step one for child world amargeddon...

The first is simple. Tell them that Santa doesn't exist. Should I have put a spoiler sign for our younger readers... Anyway, do it in the truly evil way. Through the loving voice of Jesus. Simply join the clergy, visit them on a self-proclaimed religious pilgrimage. Then, get the loveable little children around you for some good old bible bashing and reveal to them that Santa is in fact, the incarnation of Satan and that any one that accepts gifts from them will burn in hell with the tortured souls of humanity.

Then take all their gifts and keep them.

Step two for child world amargeddon...

Whilst playing with the matchbox cars and action men that you just scored from those personifications of evil, reveal to them that they are adopted and nobody loves them. Prove it with photos of them as a child in a basket at your door and the horrible photos of harsh punishment that they suffered and are still suffering under the yoke of their spiteful foster parents. You may ask "How would I acquire these pictures of sadistic glee?" Easy. Photoshop V4.1 Simply take pictures of horrified faces of their true parents when they beheld their horrible face (a few mates from down the pub) and insert their baby photos. Then take a photo of a basket at their front door. Preferably with some rubbish on top from the neglect they suffered. Then photos of their parents looking horrified from the time that you flashed them a look of your infected ingrown toenail. Then random pictures of them being dropped on the head. Then for the polisher, get photos of a rich kids room and show it to them. say "this is what a normal kids room should look like." There should be much fun when they start crying. Extra points if they run away.

Step three for child world amargeddon...

Beat them. With a stick.

Step four for child world amargeddon...

Resign from the clergy. Not before telling them that Jesus hates children with the names "insert names here" and that he will fry them with his lazer eyebeams. Oh yeah, Jesus can fly, and has lazer eyes.

Step five for child world amargeddon...

Destroy their copies of Blues Clues and Bear in the Big Blue House tapes.

Step six for child world amargeddon...

Wreck their house. Resign from the clergy, then burn down their house and piss on the ashes. While they're out repenting their sins.

Sounds fun, doesn't it.

 

Yeah, family can be a pain in the backside, no question. Especially extended family. But, well, they're still family, so you just have to suck it up. Take it from someone on the brink of losing his family -- you'd miss them a whole lot if you were about to lose them.

 

Baezlebub: I bow to your awesome knowledge and planning. You are a great member.

 

Hehe, i'äm actually considering doing some of those things Beazlebub wrote

 

@Beazlebub: That's "almost" too evil

Nothin' beats good ole' POR

 

oooh Lord of Flies, I love the first option,

 

Jesper, where's your family from? I know a lot of people that has family in Denmark, maybe I know those devils

 

Hmm I think they live in a place called Jesshiem (sp)

Anyway I got a new TOB(along with SOA) So now I got 2 SOAs

 

Oh, that's surely some miles away from me...
You almost spelled it right, it's Jessheim. Anyways, congrats with your new ToB

 

Thanks

It's truly wonderful to play it again