Memorable Monty Python quotes

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You guys took my favourites so I'll have to settle for these:

"Now go away, or I will taunt you a second time!"

"Fetcher la vash."

 

The Lumberjack Song!

I'm a lumberjack and I'm Okay
I sleep all night and I work all day.

I cut down trees, I eat my lunch
I go to the lavatory.
On Wednesdays I go shopping and have buttered scones for tea

He cut down trees, he eat his lunch
He go to the lavatory.
On Wednesdays he go shopping and has buttered scones for tea.

He's a lumberjack and he's OK
He sleeps all night and he works all day.

I cut down trees, I skip and jump
I like to press wild flowers.
I put on women's clothing and hang around in bars.

He cuts down trees, he skips and jumps
He likes to press wild flowers.
He puts on women's clothing and hangs around in bars.

He's a lumberjack and he's OK
He sleeps all night and he works all day.

I cut down trees, I wear high heels
Suspenders and a bra.
I wish I'd been a girlie, just like my dear papa.

He cuts down trees, he wears high heels?
Suspenders... and a bra?


And then they flee. I can never stop laughing at that song. It works better with visuals though.

 

"Good idea Lord!"
"Of coures it's a good idea!"

"Are you suggesting that coconuts migrate?"

"What are you then?"
"I'm French! Why do you think I talk with this OUTRAGEOUS accent?!?!"
"What are you doning in England?"
"Mind your own business!"

 

You all forgot the famous:

"My favorite colour is blue... No Yellowwwww!"

And the ultimate, oft-repeated insta-classic
"We found a witch... May we burn her?"
It Rocks!

 

What about the wonderful:

"Bring out your dead!" and "I'm not dead yet!"

 

"Camelot!"
"Camelot!"
"Camelot!"
"It's only a model"

 

Ah, I see no one has mentioned one of my all-time favourites, the "Twit of the year" competition... I hope I remember them correctly, I lost the video somewhere...

"And they're off! No, no they're not. The referee has to explain to them that they have to start when he shoots"
"Look at this man, he's doesn't know fear, he doesn't know defeat... he's got no central sensory apparatus whatsoever!" - Oliver trying to jump over two rows of matchboxes... unsuccessfully
"And the crowd is getting excited... And the twits are also getting pretty excited, too" - taking the bras off the debutantes trial
"And Oliver has run himself over!!! What a great twit!" - best moment of all.
"Simon... Simon has shot Nigel into second place! And simon clubs himself into third" - last trial; having to shoot yourself with a revolver with only six bullets.

The British Army skit also had a few cool lines:


- Now, for today - marching upp and downnn the square. Does anyone have something they'd rather be doing than marching uppp and downnn the square?
- Well, I'd rather be watching movies downtown with my girl...
- OK, you can go. Who else has something better to do than marching uppp and downnn the square?

Still, although I'd risk lynching with that, as for best quote from any British comedy, so far nothing I've seen from MP beats the opening speech for Black Adder Season 1, ep. 2
"As the good Lord says, love thy neighbor like thyself. Unless he's Turkish. In which case - KILL THE B.....D !

 

"Now what happens next?"

"Well, sir, at nightfall I and Galahad and Lancelot leap out of the rabbit and attack the drowsy and unarmed french."

"You say what?"

"Well, sir, Galahad and I and Lancelot leap out of the rabbit and..."

"aargh"

It's not the same word for word, but I hope I captured the atmosphere.

Furthermore Rally already quoted my favorite: the peasant and the watery tart.

My favourite scene has got to be the one with the killerbunny. Hilarious. Too bad it cannot be translated into words.

Had a monty Python night just yesterday. Holy Grail and the Life of Brian. There has been much laughing.

 

Much laughing just reading thru' this list. Can't remember the exact wording, but the narrated sketch of people trying not to be seen is also a favourite.

 

can't remember words but my favorite scenes are

The holy hand grenade of anitoch
Arresting the cast(end of Holy Grail)
TIM(Holy Grail)
Birth of Brian(Life of Brian)
The Suicide Squad(Life of Brian)
Whistling on a cross(Life of Brian)
Liver Donation(Time Bandits)

 

From Holy Grail:

Are you suggesting that coconuts are migratory?

 

Even though most of the French Castle taunts have been said, I don't think I saw the following:
"You don't frighten us, English pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottoms, sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so called Arthur king...you and all your silly English Kannnnniggets!" (I loved this pronunciation of the word Knights)

"I don wanna talk to you no more you empty headed animal food-trough water!"

 

The french catapulting a cow in the search for the holy grail

 

"RIGHT, that rabbit's dynamite!"

and

"He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy"

 

"This film will demonstrate the benefits of not being seen."

 

"Fourth Bruce: No. Right, I just want to remind you of the faculty rules: Rule One!

Everybruce: No Poofters!

Fourth Bruce: Rule Two, no member of the faculty is to maltreat the Abbos in any way at all -- if there's anybody watching. Rule Three?

Everybruce: No Poofters!!

Fourth Bruce: Rule Four, now this term, I don't want to catch anybody not drinking. Rule Five,

Everybruce: No Poofters!

Fourth Bruce: Rule Six, there is NO ... Rule Six. Rule Seven,

Everybruce: No Poofters!!"

- quoted from PythoNet

 

I have to see that movie again real soon.... Nice qoutes everyone..

 

"On second thought let's not go to Camelot. It IS a silly place"

ROFL

 

We're all individuals!!!

 

Found the Holy Hand Grenade scene

"And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy." And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths, and carp and anchovies, and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit-bats and large chu..."

"Skip a bit, Brother..."

"And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it."

"Amen."

"Amen."

"Right. One... two... five."

"Three, sir."

"Three."