1. SPS Accounts:
    Do you find yourself coming back time after time? Do you appreciate the ongoing hard work to keep this community focused and successful in its mission? Please consider supporting us by upgrading to an SPS Account. Besides the warm and fuzzy feeling that comes from supporting a good cause, you'll also get a significant number of ever-expanding perks and benefits on the site and the forums. Click here to find out more.
    Dismiss Notice
Dismiss Notice
You are currently viewing Boards o' Magick as a guest, but you can register an account here. Registration is fast, easy and free. Once registered you will have access to search the forums, create and respond to threads, PM other members, upload screenshots and access many other features unavailable to guests.

BoM cultivates a friendly and welcoming atmosphere. We have been aiming for quality over quantity with our forums from their inception, and believe that this distinction is truly tangible and valued by our members. We'd love to have you join us today!

(If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us. If you've forgotten your username or password, click here.)

Jokey Posties

Discussion in 'Whatnots' started by Blackthorne TA, Dec 21, 2005.

  1. Vhailor

    Vhailor Justice is not blind, for I am her eyes Veteran

    Joined:
    Jul 6, 2007
    Messages:
    404
    Likes Received:
    14
  2. Sorvo

    Sorvo Where's the nearest pub? Distinguished Member ★ SPS Account Holder Veteran

    Joined:
    Sep 4, 2001
    Messages:
    1,629
    Media:
    3
    Likes Received:
    48
    Gender:
    Male
    Heh, Sounds like everyday at work, :beer:

    Born a Baptist

    Each Friday night after work ole Bubba would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a venison steak right out of the meat supply in his freezer. Most all of Bubba's neighbors were Catholic. And when Lent occurred every spring, they were forbidden from eating meat on Friday. Well during Lent the delicious aroma from the grilled venison steaks caused such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally talked to their Priest.

    The Priest came to visit Bubba, and after a few minutes he suggested that Bubba become a Catholic. Bubba thought that was a wonderful idea. And after many classes and much study, Bubba attended his first Mass. As the priest sprinkled holy water over him, he said, "You were born a Baptist, and you were raised a Baptist, but now you are a Catholic."

    Bubba's neighbors were greatly impressed and relieved by Bubba's conversion until the first Friday night of Lent arrived. The wonderful aroma of grilled venison again filled the entire neighborhood. The Priest was called immediately by the disgruntled neighbors, and as the Priest rushed into Bubba's yard, clutching a rosary and prepared to scold him, the Priest stopped and watched in amazement. There stood Bubba, clutching a small bottle of holy water which he carefully sprinkled over the grilling meat and chanted: "You wuz born a deer, you wuz raised a deer, but now you is a catfish."
     
    Taluntain and Blackthorne TA like this.
  3. Sorvo

    Sorvo Where's the nearest pub? Distinguished Member ★ SPS Account Holder Veteran

    Joined:
    Sep 4, 2001
    Messages:
    1,629
    Media:
    3
    Likes Received:
    48
    Gender:
    Male
    Ture story. While working in Lancaster, PA for RCA, I ate breakfast several mornings a week at "The Willie Penn" restaurant. The restaurant had hired a woman who was a bit "slow" mentally. She was very sweet and knew the names of the regulars and greated them by name each morning. One morning, as I arrived, she said, "good morning Vince." I was followed by Dick Faulkner and she waid sweetly, "good morning Dick." Several more men arrived, by the name Dick. When another Dick arrived, she observed - "there sure are a lot of Dicks here this morning."

    Top 9 comments made by NBC at the Olympics. Here are the top nine comments made by NBC sports commentators so far during the Summer Olympics that they would like to take back:

    1. Weight-lifting commentator: 'This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing.'

    2. Dressage commentator: 'This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother.'

    3. Paul Hamm, Gymnast: 'I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.'

    4. Boxing Analyst: 'Sure there have been injuries, and even some deaths in boxing, but none of them really that serious.

    5. Softball announcer: 'If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again.'

    6. Basketball analyst: 'He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces.'

    7. At the rowing medal ceremony: 'Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the IOC president is hugging the cox of the British crew.'

    8. Soccer commentator: 'Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field.'

    9. Tennis commentator: 'One of the reasons Andy is playing so well is that, before the final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them... Oh my God, what have I just said?'
    :beer:
     
    Blackthorne TA and Taluntain like this.
Sorcerer's Place is an independent project run entirely by fans and for fans. Maintaining Sorcerer's Place and a stable environment for all our hosted sites requires a substantial amount of time and money on a regular basis, so please consider supporting us to keep the site up & running smoothly. Thank you!