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Jokey Posties

Discussion in 'Whatnots' started by Blackthorne TA, Dec 21, 2005.

  1. nior Gems: 24/31
    Latest gem: Water Opal


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    Which one? Arnie remembers Bambi or Arnie got bitten by a coyote? :D
     
  2. Faye

    Faye Life is funny. Veteran

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    That coyote must have some real cojones to bite The Terminator™
     
  3. joacqin

    joacqin Confused Jerk Veteran

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    Seems like every problem can be solved with gun violence.
     
  4. T2Bruno

    T2Bruno The only source of knowledge is experience Distinguished Member ★ SPS Account Holder Adored Veteran New Server Contributor [2012] (for helping Sorcerer's Place lease a new, more powerful server!) Torment: Tides of Numenera SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!)

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    HA HA HA HA ha-ha-ha-ha! You kill me ... that was a good one joacqin.

    And now for something complete different....

    Stanley died in a fire and his body was burned pretty badly.

    The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they sent for his two buddies, Billy Joe and Jim Bob.

    The three men had always hunted and fished together and were long time members of a hunt camp.

    Billy Joe arrived first, and when the mortician pulled back the sheet, Billy Joe said, 'Well, his face is burned up pretty bad. You better roll him over.'

    The mortician rolled him over and Billy Joe said, 'Nope, ain't Stanley .' The mortician thought this was rather strange.

    So he brought Jim Bob in to confirm the identity of the body.

    Jim Bob looked at the body and said, 'Yup, he's pretty well burnt up. Roll him over... 'The mortician rolled him over and Jim Bob said, 'No, it ain't Stanley .'

    The mortician asked, 'How can you tell?' Jim Bob said, 'Well, Stanley had two butt holes.'

    'What? He had two anuses?' asked the mortician.

    'Yup, we never seen 'em, but everybody used to say: There's Stanley with them two *******s.'

    ION, I just found out you need to list *******s as two words ... ass ... and holes. :D
     
    Last edited: Jan 17, 2011
  5. nior Gems: 24/31
    Latest gem: Water Opal


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    Nice one T2, nice one. :grin:
     
  6. Alorekent Gems: 1/31
    Latest gem: Turquoise


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    Physics Joke

    If you do well in life and stay positive, you'll have high potential!

    SO bad....
     
  7. Chandos the Red

    Chandos the Red This Wheel's on Fire

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    Last edited: May 13, 2011
  8. Aldeth the Foppish Idiot

    Aldeth the Foppish Idiot Armed with My Mallet O' Thinking Veteran

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    What does FML stand for?
     
  9. 8people

    8people 8 is just another way of looking at infinite ★ SPS Account Holder Adored Veteran

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    [​IMG] "My Life Is Currently In A Less Than Satisfactory State of Affairs"
     
  10. Marceror

    Marceror Chaos Shall Be Sown In Their Footsteps Adored Veteran Pillars of Eternity SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!) Torment: Tides of Numenera SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!) BoM XenForo Migration Contributor [2015] (for helping support the migration to new forum software!)

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    :lol:
     
  11. T2Bruno

    T2Bruno The only source of knowledge is experience Distinguished Member ★ SPS Account Holder Adored Veteran New Server Contributor [2012] (for helping Sorcerer's Place lease a new, more powerful server!) Torment: Tides of Numenera SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!)

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    F-bomb me large ... it's taking "f-bomb me" to the next level.
     
  12. Death Rabbit

    Death Rabbit Straight, no chaser Adored Veteran Torment: Tides of Numenera SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!)

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    "F@&# My Life" is what it stands for.
     
  13. T2Bruno

    T2Bruno The only source of knowledge is experience Distinguished Member ★ SPS Account Holder Adored Veteran New Server Contributor [2012] (for helping Sorcerer's Place lease a new, more powerful server!) Torment: Tides of Numenera SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!)

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    I guess it depends on where you're from ... they mean the same thing though.
     
  14. Marceror

    Marceror Chaos Shall Be Sown In Their Footsteps Adored Veteran Pillars of Eternity SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!) Torment: Tides of Numenera SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!) BoM XenForo Migration Contributor [2015] (for helping support the migration to new forum software!)

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    Not nearly as eloquent as 8people's rendition... but I suppose it gets the job done.
     
  15. Death Rabbit

    Death Rabbit Straight, no chaser Adored Veteran Torment: Tides of Numenera SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!)

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    Nothing I say is a eloquent as 8peep's rendition.

    Except for her rendition of the Chaka Khan's "I Am Every Woman." Mine is totally better.
     
  16. 8people

    8people 8 is just another way of looking at infinite ★ SPS Account Holder Adored Veteran

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    [​IMG] Can't argue with that! :D
     
  17. Marceror

    Marceror Chaos Shall Be Sown In Their Footsteps Adored Veteran Pillars of Eternity SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!) Torment: Tides of Numenera SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!) BoM XenForo Migration Contributor [2015] (for helping support the migration to new forum software!)

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    Well, that is a great song, so at least you've got that going for you! :D
     
  18. Barmy Army

    Barmy Army Simple mind, simple pleasures... Adored Veteran

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  19. T2Bruno

    T2Bruno The only source of knowledge is experience Distinguished Member ★ SPS Account Holder Adored Veteran New Server Contributor [2012] (for helping Sorcerer's Place lease a new, more powerful server!) Torment: Tides of Numenera SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!)

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    An Italian Mother (sent to me by an Italian friend who claims this could have been her mother)

    A few months after her son moved into the city, Mrs. Ravioli decided to visit him and his roomate for dinner. When she arrived she discovered her son Anthony had a female roommate, Maria. During the course of the meal, Mrs Ravioli couldn't help but notice how pretty Maria was. While watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Anthony and his roommate than met the eye. As if reading his mother's thoughts, Anthony volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Maria and I are just roommates.''

    About a week later, Maria came to Anthony saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver sugar bowl. You don't suppose she took it, do you?"

    "Well, I doubt it," he replied, "but I'll email her, just to be sure." So he sat down and wrote an email:

    Dear mama,

    I'm not saying that you "did" take the sugar bowl from my house; I'm not saying that you "did not" take it. But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.

    Love, Anthony​


    Several days later, Anthony received a response email from his Mama which read:

    Dear son,

    I'm not saying that you "do" sleep with Maria, and I'm not saying that you "do not" sleep with her. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the sugar bowl by now.

    Love, Mama​

     
    Master of Nuhn likes this.
  20. Taluntain

    Taluntain Resident Alpha and Omega Staff Member ★ SPS Account Holder Resourceful Adored Veteran Pillars of Eternity SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!) New Server Contributor [2012] (for helping Sorcerer's Place lease a new, more powerful server!) Torment: Tides of Numenera SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!) BoM XenForo Migration Contributor [2015] (for helping support the migration to new forum software!)

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