Funniest quotes and answer choices

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Since this topic was resurrected, I thought I'd post one of my favorites that hasn't been mentioned between Vicky and Seravok. (It has been a while if I have seen this, so no guarantee that this is exact.)

Viconia: Might we share a whispered word?
Seravok: Go ahead drow, what do you want?
Viconia: We as drow seek to further our experiences, and you intrigue me.
Seravok: If you were to get through, you would find only cold darkness.
Viconia: That does not turn me off like you might imagine.
Seravok: I orchestrated a war to kill, plotted to take Baldur's Gate, but you drow, you scare me.
Viconia: Bah! Cowards everywhere! If you find your courage, do seek me out.

I take it Seravok didn't want to fight with my main character over her.

[EDIT]Aerie threatens to turn anyone that calls her innocent into a squirrel, not a toad.

[This message has been edited by Rastor (edited July 09, 2002).]

 

Okay, I just thought of 2 more (I quickly glanced through this post and didn't find these two, much to my astonishment, but if they're in here I apologize in advance).

First, is when you speak to one of the psychos in Spellhold, the one who keeps telling you to stop barking and such...:

"One has lots of time for reflection while waiting for the ENDLESS WAVES OF BAD DOGGIE WEREWOLF MONSTERS THAT CHEW YOUR TOES WHILE YOU SLEEP."

The other is a conversation between Minsc and the Pirate Lord of Brynnlaw, when you're trying to get into Spellhold and you introduce Minsc to the Lord...(paraphrased)

PC: Minsc, meet the Pirate Lord.
M: You seem rather nice for a Pirate Lord, I will let Boo have a look at you.
PL(Pirate Lord ): Uh...Why is your friend pointing a hamster at me?
M: You are not what I expected for a Pirate Lord. Where is your peg?
PL: My...peg?
M: Yes, your peg. Every true pirate has a peg, whether a leg or an arm..or...another expendable extremity. And a parrot.
PL: A parrot?
M: Yes, a parrot. As I have my Boo you must also have your parrot. Boo likes parrots, they can wrassel.
PL: Okay, you are definitely insane, a true danger to society. I feel stupider just talking to you. Stupider? More stupid? (then something telling you to leave)

 

I read thru this whole thing to finally get my favorite one up. Wouldn't you know it/ The one before this got the one about trying to prove that you are insane to get into spellhold, and that was the one that really got me laughing.

 

Here are two things that Volo will say if you right click him:

Offly familar with that pointer arn't you, and after only one drink too...

I've a story for every man, woman, and child in Farun, however copywrite laws forbid me the telling...heh...

Volo is cool!

 

One of my favourites is during the final fight at the Throne of Bhaal...

The villan (I'm leaving out the name so I won't spoil anyone) rants on about their goals of becoming a god and reigning the world in terror and chaos etc....

And one of the choices is "Well, sure...I guess everyone has a dream. Psycho."

I LOVE that! Always choose that one.

 

Here's a couple that I thought were good:

(while romancing Jaheira; something to the effect of...)
J: So, fearless leader, where to now?
P: I don't rightly know. I'm open to suggestions.
J: Well I would suggest you figure out something soon and I would also suggest that the next time someone asks a question, don't respond with 'I don't rightly know'. It makes you sound like you were dropped as a child.... or kicked.

(during an interaction with Minsc, in which my character agreed with his suggested course of action - this one had me rolling)
M: Now you are speaking the language of Minsc! Now we must get you a hamster; or an ice weasel, whatever your taste.

possible spoilers
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(conversations w/ Galvary when summoned to the Harper Hold)
G: What are your earliest memories? (or something like that)
P: Well, I remember coming through that door back there. Beyond that, it is all a blur.

(later)
G: So you view violence as unavoidable. Typical. Do you have violent thoughts often?
P: Actually, I'm having a few right now.

 

Tashia(elven sorceress)I will finger you to death giants! uh that didnt come out right

 

It's not a response but I thought it was rather funny.

When wandering around the forest Cernd, in his usual "deep and meaningful" manner, suddenly pipes up with one of his nature quotes,

"A bird in hand gathers no moss...or some such..." This was so funny to hear because he realises that he just stuffed up. Made me smile.

It's great to solo TOB with an Ubercharacter and when you smash the hell out of Sendai's army they keep on intoning, "The Drow Rule Supreme!"

I just smashed you all! Get with it matey!

 

I bought this game on an urge and I just couldn't wait for it to be delivered from abroad so I bought it from a local shop, which means I'm stuck with the French version and its appalling translation...
But the translation mistakes lend themselves to some good laughs.
For example:
- When you activate the Planar Sphere I suppose the original message you get refers to a "plane travel". Meaning "interplanar". But plane was translated here as an "airplane". So you get a message saying that you took off in an airplane. LOL.
- Also in the Planar Sphere, when you take the last of the Stronghold quests, your character finds the Cowled Mage's a tad suspicion and says that he can "smell a rat". Well, that was translated literally: you char says there a rat smell in the air.

You get a few such gems that make you laugh, but overall poor translations are really annoying. That's why I usually get my games from the UK or the US and I'm starting to think I should have done so for this one as well.
Most riddles in the Asylum for instance are completely meaningless in their translated form.

 

Perhaps you should consider offering your services for game companies as a translator between French and English (or Drow? just joking... )

 

RRghh... yes, I know how awful it can be.

I bought a russian version of Fallout2 a few years ago, (cause they simply had no other in the stores) and I couldn't finish the game at all because the quest hints which you usually get in dialogs or such were completely lost in the poor translation... so I didn't know what the heck I'm supposed to do...

and I WON'T even mention the horrible voice acting!! so I decided: sOrrY FoLks! no more translated games for me! one was more than enough.

Anyhow, it was supposed to be a topic for funny quotes, right? so here's MY favorite:

In ToB, the owner of the tavern in Saradush Pyrgam Aleson mentions: "sister Farielle and I have a very *close* relationship" and Korgan's remark about it is:
"Har! a little pickle tickle with the sister in the back of the church, eh? Ye know what they say... nun is better! HAR! HAR! HAR!"

Korgan rules or KORGAN RULES????

 

Cespenar: Oooohhh, you gots the flail of many heads.... Auch! Wrong head!

Cespenar: He? What's this? A shower curtain? Ow... it's only a cloak... Nasty patern!

Edwin: Cry for your lives... they are over!

Edwin: Could my opinion of this group drop ANY lower?! Evidently so!

Gotta love Edwin!

 

Cespenars funniest lines:

"What´s this, a cookie? *crunch* *crunch* Eehh!!
This´s no cookie!!"

or this one

"You have big hammer, Bhaal once dropped big hammer on big godly toe. Jumped around and sweared for days he did. Kicked poor me all the way to Baator. Very bad week that"

Whhheeee!!!
/_____________________
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Got me second gem!!

 

Cespanar is full of good lines. One that I like is:

"hmmm, what's this? Old rations? Do you clean pack or just pretend?"

 

While we're at it- I'm quite embarrased to admit, but I didn't understand Cespenar's Martha joke... care to explain?...

 

martha atewart (sp?) is a TV chef with alot of recipies that have gone wrong

 

LOL! *falls of the chair* LOL!

 

My favourite line has to be when Jan and Haer'Dalis are discussing poetry. Jan asks for a word that rhymes with "bucket", and an increasingly annoyed Haer'Dalis replies along the lines "Well one does spring immediately to mind".

 

i dont know if anyone has mentioned this yet. the argument between minsc and viconica really cracked me up. i dont remember much of it but here's what i do remember. it was something along the lines of this

Viconica to minsc: whats wrong with your face. did you get attacked by a group of children with pastels??

 

Jan after you summoned him into ToB:

Jan: Time for a litle adventure, is it? I figured as much. I saw some ogres down in Amn capture a small Bhaalspawn...a kobold, that one, my but that Bhaal got around, didn't he? Anyway, they were stewing him in a big iron pot and I thought to myself "Jan, my boy, that's adventure you're smelling".
PC: That's horrible!
Jan: Not as horrible as the stew. Very bland, no salt.