Favorite Movie Quotes?

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Arthur to Armless-Yet-Persistent Knight: "What are you going to do, bleed on me?"

 

"If she weighs the same as the duck, then she will float and then she is a witch!"

"It's not a horse, it's just cocoenuts"

And the Trojan rabbit and all the stuff the "french" fire from the castle.

 

Go and boil your bottoms you English kkkkkk-nigits!

Go Away or I will taunt you a second time!

(heck if we keep going we'll quote the whole movie)

Everybody! We're Knights of the Roundtable!
We dance whenever able!
We do...

 

"Well we didn't know you had a friend hidden in the bathroom with a god damned hand cannon!" -Samuel L Jackson OR John Travolta in pulp fiction (can't remember which)

 

"what be your name enchanter?" says king arthur, enchanter replies: "some people call me... tim"

python just rocks!

 

Here are some of the funniest python quotes I could find from holy grail:


GUARD #1: Halt! Who goes there?
ARTHUR: It is I, Arthur, son of Uther Pendragon, from the castle
of Camelot. King of the Britons, defeator of the Saxons, sovereign
of all England!
GUARD #1: Pull the other one!
ARTHUR: I am. And this my trusty servant Patsy.
We have ridden the length and breadth of the land in search of knights
who will join me in my court of Camelot. I must speak with your lord
and master.
GUARD #1: What, ridden on a horse?
ARTHUR: Yes!
GUARD #1: You're using coconuts!
ARTHUR: What?
GUARD #1: You've got two empty halves of coconut and you're bangin'
'em together.
ARTHUR: So? We have ridden since the snows of winter covered this
land, through the kingdom of Mercea, through--
GUARD #1: Where'd you get the coconut?
ARTHUR: We found them.
GUARD #1: Found them? In Mercea? The coconut's tropical!
ARTHUR: What do you mean?
GUARD #1: Well, this is a temperate zone.
ARTHUR: The swallow may fly south with the sun or the house martin
or the plumber may seek warmer climes in winter yet these are not
strangers to our land.
GUARD #1: Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?
ARTHUR: Not at all, they could be carried.
GUARD #1: What -- a swallow carrying a coconut?
ARTHUR: It could grip it by the husk!
GUARD #1: It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple
question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a 1 pound
coconut.
ARTHUR: Well, it doesn't matter. Will you go and tell your master
that Arthur from the Court of Camelot is here.
GUARD #1: Listen, in order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow
needs to beat its wings 43 times every second, right?
ARTHUR: Please!
GUARD #1: Am I right?
ARTHUR: I'm not interested!
GUARD #2: It could be carried by an African swallow!
GUARD #1: Oh, yeah, an African swallow maybe, but not a European
swallow, that's my point.
GUARD #2: Oh, yeah, I agree with that...
ARTHUR: Will you ask your master if he wants to join my court
at Camelot?!
GUARD #1: But then of course African swallows are not migratory.
GUARD #2: Oh, yeah...
GUARD #1: So they couldn't bring a coconut back anyway...
[clop clop]
GUARD #2: Wait a minute -- supposing two swallows carried it together?
GUARD #1: No, they'd have to have it on a line.
GUARD #2: Well, simple! They'd just use a standard creeper!
GUARD #1: What, held under the dorsal guiding feathers?
GUARD #2: Well, why not?

Who didn't laugh at the swallow scene?

MORTICIAN: Who's that then?
CUSTOMER: I don't know.
MORTICIAN: Must be a king.
CUSTOMER: Why?
MORTICIAN: He hasn't got shit all over him.

Aww dammit, I need to see the film now.

 

1.
EDDIE:I know what your thinking punk. Back there in Act II Scene I did i fire six bullets or only five?

PARROT: Six you stupid bastard

[BAN BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG]

EDDIE: Well I fuking reloaded!

(taken from Bottom:Live and uncut).

2.
"Will everyone just stop getting fucking shot!"

(taken from Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking barrels)

 

Ah, well, how about this classic Charlston Heston line:

"Get your stinking paws off me, you damn dirty apes!"

Love that one. But I rarely use it. Off the top of my head, this is the one I use the most:

"What's all this happy horse shit?!"

Why I use that, I have no idea. Every now and again I have to sit back and try to figure out where I got that one from. Incidently, it's from The Crow. An obscure line that probably noone remembers, but it stuck in my head for some reason. Go figure.

 

"What is your name?"
"King Arthur of Camelot"
"What is your quest?"
"To seek the holy grail"
"What is the wingspan of an unladen swallow?"
"Which one? An Afrcan or European?"
"ARGHHHH!!!" *flies in the Abyss of eternal peril*

lol
need i say which movie it's from?

[This message has been edited by Wildfire (edited January 07, 2001).]

 

Am I the only one who is worried that almost all of us seem to know the entire script of Monty Python and the Holy Grail, and I have no doubt that most of you know the scripts of their other movies.
The 'how to hide susccesfully scene' in And Now For something completely different was hilarious

 

My favorite movie quote...
"The holy grail is on the castle named...aaaarrrrrgggghhh...."

 

Had to pull this one out of the mothballs after watching The Unforgiven:

Clint Eastwood (William Munny): "It's a hell of a thing, killing a man.
You take away all he's got, and all he's ever gonna have."


After Clint kills Skinny, the owner of the saloon for displaying the body of his friend on the front porch:

Gene Hackman (Little Bill): "Well sir, you are a cowardly son of a bitch. You just shot an unarmed man."

Clint Eastwood: "Well he shoulda armed himself if he's gonna decorate his saloon with my friend."

Great show. If anyone has seen it, several of the scenes were shot right here in South Westernern Alberta. I think this summer I'm going to collect all of my Eastwood flicks and have a Clint Eastwood marathon party.

 

After the list of "Samson the Assirian assassin",etc has been read out -
"I'll handle thith!"

Life of Bwian

[This message has been edited by Ironbeard (edited June 03, 2001).]

 

I'm up here with you freezing my ass off when I could be at home drinking this KILLER egg-nogg my brother makes with lighter fluid- Better Off Dead

this next may be ever so slightly misquoted...

"The fact that my gun says "desert eagle point five O on the side, while yours says "replica" should facilitate your shriveling"-snatch

 

Does it have to be a movie??

I like this quote from Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Spike: "Passions is on! Timmy's down the bloody well and if you make me miss it . . ."
Giles: "You'll do what? Lick me to death?"

This is after Spike (a vampire) has been "neutered" so that he can't hurt people. He's also got hooked to the soap Passions.

 

if you want buffy quotes, the best ever was the dracula episode.

"He turned me into his bug-eating he-bitch!"
xander, after some renfield action

 

Arthur: Halt!

French Guard: Allo! who iz eet?
Arthur: It is king arthur, and these are my knights of the round table. Who's castle is this?
French Guard: This is the castle of my master, Guy de Loimbard.
Arthur: Go tell your master that we have been charged by God with a sacred quest. If he will give us food and shelter for the night, he can join us on our quest for the holy grail.
French Guard: Well, i'll ask him, but i don't think he'll be very keen. Uh he's already got one you see.
Arthur: What?!
Galahad: He says he's aleady got one!
Arthur: Are you sure he's got one?
French Guard: Oh yes its very nice-a. (i told them we already got one.
Other French Guards: (chuckling)
Arthur: Well u--um, can we come up and take a lok?
French Guard: Of course not! You are English types-a!
Arthur: Well what are you then?
French Guard: I'm French! Why do you think i have this outrageous accent you sily king-a!?
Galahad: What are you doing in England?
French Guard: Mind your own buissness!
Arthur:If you will not show us the grail then we shall have to take he castle by force!
French Guard: You don't frighten us, English pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottom you sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called Arthur king, you and all your silly English k-nnnnnnnnnnnnnniggets. thpppppt! thppppt! thpppt!
Galahad: What a strange person.
Arthur:Now look here my good man......
French Guard: I don't wanna talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!
Galahad: Is there someone else up there we could talk too?
French Guard: No. Now go away or i shall taunt you a second time-a! (sniffs)
Arthur:Now this is yur last chance, i have been moe than reasonable.
French Guard: (Fetchez la vache)
Other French Guard: (Quoi?)
French Guard: Fetchez la vache!

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

oh dear i do love that scene so!

 

More Monty Python???

I'm sure we all love Monty Python, but cutting and pasting scenes from a script isn't really a quote.

 

This is not a quote, but the scene from The Devils Advocate with Al Pacino where he gives Keanu Reeves a little inside information on god. That allways cracks me up...

 

"Theres alot of beautiful women out there. Most of them don't bring you lasagna at work. Most of them just cheat on you and break your heart" silent bob, in clerks

"He likes to have sex in uncomfortable places, and I DONT mean the back of a volkswagon"-mallrats

"I b**w him while Koi F'd me!!" shouted out by the lead characters girl friend in one of those odd quiet momments at crowded hockey game-In Chasing Amy

uncensored of course