Relationship Rant Thread #6

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As of 01/28/2010, we are officially divorced. The judge waived the 90-day waiting period and signed the papers....and off came my ring after these many tough months. This f***ing sucks.


Now....where the f*** in my pitty sex?!?!? I've got 4 mega-hot female friends, and not a single one of them is putting out! The f***ing nerve of those B****es!

 

It requires nerve not to have sex with an aggressive male having a tough time emotionally?

 

I would hope so if I become single...

 

I would hope so if I get a girlfriend and then become single

 

Where I come from, there are 2 "healing" stages (and by that, I mean a cheap excuse for a chick to f*** one of their male friends).

The fist stage is 'Pity Sex'. This is where the female friend feels bad for their friend and tries to comfort them emotionally. She then gets really turned on by the sight of her emotionally wounded male friend, and things quickly escalate to sex. This stage is a "I need someone to hold and comfort my empty soul" stage for a guy, and for every guy ever born, sex is a *waaaaaaaay* better cure for the soul than any chicken soup, no matter how tasty it may be.

After a period of grieving, all the guy's friends - male and female - decide it's time for you to get "back in the game", and there's nothing better than 'Rebound Sex' to achieve such goals. This stage is purely a self-esteem boost. Leading up to this point, a guy might feel like he's got nothing to offer. Afterwards, he has that "Damn! I've still got it!!!" outlook on life. (Note to women: This is where you scream your brains out...even if the poor sap is sporting a 3" pecker and generally sucks in bed. Fake it for his ego. (Fortunately, I don't suffer from either problems. ))

 

Why go through all that hassle when you can just get NSA? I want me some? I pick up the phone, give my friend a call, tell her I feel like whacking a pinata tonight, and that's it.

 

I thought "whacking a pinata" was a one man - one hand operation....

 

Unless his friend is in the 1-800 numbers...

 

If her tingly bits look like a pinata, you are going to have to worry about more than just candy coming out, DotW.

 

Actually, "whacking the pinata" is the PG way of describing things better suited for a Rated-R environement. I pioneered the term a few RRT back.

And for the record, it's with the same chick that produced a classic stashed on a SD card that caused a lot of controversy when I sent it to the wrong chick.

 

If all that is true my friends really suck.

 

If they do, what are you complaining about? LOL

 

I actually had a civil conversation with my ex-husband today. It was very bizarre, and both he and his wife looked twitchy (she is the girl he divorced me to marry)
I'm guessing that he has never told his kids about his first marriage, and they're worried that I'll bring it up.
It would server them right. I knew about my father's first marriage from the time I was 6. Don't try to hide these things from kids, they'll find out eventually from other sources...

 

Oh and I guess my interest broke up with her boyfriend after a long (drunk) conversation we had. The big thing with that is one thing she said is that she "wished she could be on the same page, but she has a boyfriend."

And well, two days later that problem was resolved.

 

That's really odd Stef. Why would you even be in their lives at all? Why would he even bring up a previous marriage to the kids if they never asked?

 

It's funny you mention that, my father told me about his first marriage when I was about 11 years old. He must have thought it was time to show me that life is not a simple, black and white operation. I had always thought that my father was a perfect Mormon -- I was glad that I found out from him that his life had not been as . . . cookie cutter as I had thought.

 

Well, we still have mutual friends, and the possibility of stories occurring during our marriage being brought up is pretty high. It's better that the children learn from the parents and not the parents' friends.
Still, not my problem *shrug* I will not tell the kids, but that doesn't mean no-one else will.

 

There are few things more annoying than flirting intensely with a gorgeous lady for a couple hours, only to see her being taken home by a best girlfriend of hers, to prevent things from getting interesting. Had I known she only wanted to play I would have invested my time elsewhere. Meh.

Undeniably gorgeous girl though, and nice girlfriend - still, very annoying.

 

It's not going to happen. FML.