When Does Adulthood Begin?

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There are so many things that go into becoming an adult, and it just seems that the legal definition (18 in most cases) is certainly lacking. In the U.S. alone (and I admit that the values are certainly different in different countries):

You need to be 16 to drive a car.
You need to be 18 to vote, are old enough to join the Armed Forces, and are also considered an adult in terms of the law.
You need to be 21 to consume alcoholic beverages.

And while those ages are all fine and dandy, does it say anything about becoming an adult? I don't think so. There are many things that go along with reaching adulthood. For the list I came up with, you probably don't need to meet all of the criteria, but at least a few would probably be required. To wit:

1. Completion of some level of education. Most people do not finish secondary school by their 18th birthday. That says nothing for those who attend a college/university/trade school, and these types of education will certainly push it beyond your 18th birthday.

2. Financial idenpendence/having a career. If you are still relying on your parents or someone else for financial support, are you really an adult? Probably not.

3. Living on your own. Even if you are financially independent, there's still something inherently uncool about living with your parents. Unless there's some glaring need, like saving to buy a house or something, why do you still live there if you make enough to support yourself.

4. Getting married. This is truly where the break happens. It would be laughable to get married prior to acheiving #2 and #3.

5. Having children of your own. While it can certainly be argued that there are many unintended teen pregnancies, in general I think that most people don't decide to (willingly) have children of their own without viewing themselves as being of appropriate parenting age.

So what are others thoughts? Certainly other people can come up with additional criteria as well. Most importantly, at what point do you think that most people reach these milestones? If I had to guess - and I'll be the first to admit that it can vary widely, as a doctor requires much more education than a school teacher for example - but I'd say 25 is a good ballpark figure - and well above the current legal status of 18.

 

I think these 2 aren't required

 

I'm fairly leery of #4 and #5, since in our social context, there are less expectations of marriage and having children. (Or at least, it's regarded as okay to marry and have children at a relatively late time in life.)

Of course, #4 and #5 might imply that celibate adults, or people who just don't want to marry or have kids (e.g. are gay and can't legally marry, overpopulation).

#3 is arguable, since I understand that in some places outside of the US (or the West), it's perfectly fine to live with your parents, or have your parents move in with your household. But I wager that you mostly have in mind the West.

 

What's the point of labeling people as 'adult', except for legal purposes?

Eighteen seems like an appropriate age; the law allows you to make your own decisions, independent from anybody else. But just because you're 18 doesn't always mean you are mature enough to make those decisions. And the fact that in the US you're not allowed to drink until you're 21 is just... utterly stupid.

Imagine a 23 year old student. He studies full time and has a job for a few hours a week to get some extra cash. He doesn't make quite enough money to support himself, and since his parents live close to his college, he still lives at home for financial purposes (his parents still let him live in their basement for free). He is responsible, gets good grades and a girlfriend who he has been with for 4 years. He can probably get a good job when he finishes his studies.

Ok, now imagine a 23 year old who dropped out of high school at the age of 16, has been working a low, dead-end job for the past 7 years, and is slowly getting an alcohol problem. He got married, lives in a trailer and has three kids named Billy-Bob, Jim-Bob and Daisy-Bob*.

See where I am going here? One doesn't confirm to any of your standards and the other does, so which one is more mature?


*No offense meant to people named Billy-Bob, Jim-Bob or Daisy-Bob.

 

The answer is simple. Never.

I'd define one as an "adult" once they know all they need to know. Because that's very likely never possible, nobody's ever "adult".

I mean, just look at Splunge! (No offence intended. )

 

I deem number 2. unless extreme circumstance where the person is disabled and would be unable to be financially independant anyway.

 

I figure that 18 is the number, although some people over that age aren;t ready for the priveledges and responsibilities of being an adult.

Number 2. I am 35 but Still live at home for 2 reasons. 1, that's where the work is, and 2, I have enough of a disability that it makes finding other employment.

And I'm 35, but have no luck finding a woman with whom I could live and work with (most of the women I meet are already married). I think that's as much a factor of wasted youth as anything...

 

You become an adult when you're mature enough to make decisions for your own and accept the consequences that come with them. Adulthood is the result of experience, not a specified age. I know people way over thirty that couldn't fill in forms and handle themselves even if their life depended on it, and some of my friends (which are not yet considered major) are some of the most stable and independant people I've ever met.

Putting a legal 'age' on adulthood is only a generalization, a necessary evil in large societies as our own.

Just my .

 

It should be judged on an individual basis. Some people are more mature than others.

 

well, in alot of species adulthood is considered on sexual maturity.

but i think with humans, it is simply a state of maturity and independence... i see alot of grown men, who i would still consider children.

 

I disagree with all of your criteria. Indeed - I suspect that all criteria imposed by an outside source is going to be meaningless. If the term is useful at all (I have my doubts...), the only person able to judge with any chance of accuracy is going to be the individual (well - and maybe a very well informed psychologist).

How about a definition of 'adult' before we go any further though? What state exactly are we discussing?

 

I was working at 15, married while to young to sign the papers without a parents signature. I had 2 of my 3 kids by the time I was 20. We always lived in a house except for a while when I bought a lux (very nice) 16x80 trailer to put on an acre lot. While I was in the military I tested at a high school to get my diploma for HS and then went to the nearest collage to CLEP my first year requirements for the freshman year. I have been a good mechanic, an overhead crane operator, (AFL-CIO member) a student, taught CAD, Auto-Cad, set up systems and worked tech support. Oh, and NONE of my kids has a hyphenated name and I do live in the south. I don't drink and never had a drug problem. I think someone who has learned to take care of themselve and others is an adult at any age.

 

Aik, I can't answer that question, because that it the basis of my initial question to you. That's precisely what I'm asking. What do you define as being adult, and throught that, what characteristics/abilities/milestones do you need to acheive to get there?

Regarding everyone saying that marriage and children are not necessary for adulthood: I tend to agree with you. I was more or less saying that you definitely should already be an adult before you take those steps. So I wasn't necessarily saying it was a requirement, but sort of an upper maximum. (And like I said previously, I'm talking about intentional pregnancies.) Naturally, since some people never get married or have kids, it can't be a requirement to reach adulthood. On the other hand, 95% of all people are married at some point in their life, so it does appear to be a process most will go through

 

It all really depends on your society. In America, somewhere between graduating HS (18) and getting a Bachelor's (22) is usually the standard. Many (though not all) that go for post-graduate degrees do so after starting a career and living on their own, so I'd consider them adults already. In areas of the world that are still very farm-dependant, where the family owns the farm, a child may never leave the home, and you'll have 3-4 generations that grew up in the home living there at the same time, all working the farm. Here adult usually means married, which can be as young as 14.

All in all, I think the level of knowledge required to productively interact with the modern world and the corresponding increase in life-span have driven 'adulthood' for most of us to between 18 and 22, with 25 as the upper-end stretch.

 

An adult is anybody who is older than me, therefore every year there seem to be more and more kids.

 

Yargh! I HATE THAT THING!!!

But back on topic... there's no general rule, everyone is different, goes through different experiences, and is different mentally... I started to fend on my own when I got the magic 18 years old (and I'm 23 now), though I have no interest whatsoever in getting married or spawning descendance before a loooooooong time.

Everyone is different.

 

Ah - well, I'd define it as 'When someone has reached a basic level of mental maturity.' I don't think that it's possible to put milestones on that.

Hmm, that definition probably needs one for 'mental maturity' also. I'm thinking 'the ability to reason at a level in which one can function independantly in society'.
Note that this doesn't mean that they necessarily are - they just can.

 

Well the magic number in Denmark is 18.
you need to be 18 to drive a car (yea we dont let irresponseble 16 years drive cars, we let them drink instead)
18 to vote, join the army and at 18 your parents no longer have any legal rights over you.
and adult minimum wages kicks in here.
you have to be 16 to buy alchohol in a shop, and 18 to get it served in a bar etc.
the sexual maturity age in denmark is 15 though.

but basicaly the year you turn 18 you are considered an adult in Denmark.
I think this age is decent, while some might not be mature at this level others atain maturety way before, its a decent level, and it reaches most in when they finish our form of College (called Gymnasium, has nothing to do with gymnastic or being naked). also if you dont go to college but another form of education you will be finished around the age of 18 too, so basically in denmark you reach adulthood at a crossroad, where you either are done with your education or going to a higher level (university and such).
this is of cause only if you reach every year of your education without taking years off, or ekstra school years etc. but generaly i find its a fitting age.

 

You can buy alcohol at 16, but have to be 18 to get it served to you? Why?

 

/me applauds Ziggyveld

You're spot-on. The Old One and Harbs also make good points.

I've said elsewhere recently that I think that most people shouldn't marry before 25 or have kids before 30. Modern society encourages selfishness to a great degree, and until an individual has had a chance to indulge that and get it out of his/her system, that person can't possibly be ready to thrive in a relationship - let alone be responsible for raising children.

Of course, those numbers are pretty much pulled out of thin air. Some people will be ready at 15, some not until 40,and some never will be ready.