This just happens in movies

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- When you have to pay a taxi (cab?) you just pick a random bill from your wallet without looking at it. Always will be the exactly fare.

- If you are in any bar (pub?) watching television, it is for sure that is about to be a 'news flash' about you.

- Any door can be opened with a credit card or a paper clip but that won't happen if the building is on fire and there's someone burning inside.

- Every bomb carries a big flashing countdown screen just to show people when the bomb is going to blow. And of course, if someone deactivate it, it will be in the last second.

- In every USA gas station there's an employee with a red handkerchief in his back pocket.

- If you just start to dance in the street always there's going to be people that know the 'dance' and will join you.

- If you are going to pretend to be a german soldier you don't need to speak german, english with german accent will do.

- If a woman is alone at home and hears a noise and decide to investigate, she will wear the sexyest underwear she has.

- In any police investigation is essential a visit to a striptease bar.

- Every sheet has a L shape, it covers above the woman shoulder and for the guy just above the waist.

- The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.

 

If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St. Patrick's Day parade - at any time of the year.

Large, loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the price range of most people-whether they are employed or not.

It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.

The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.

If you need to reload your gun, you will always have more ammunition - even if you haven't been carrying any before now.

You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil.

Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don't worry which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one.

Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communications system of any invading alien society.

When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.

If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a world expert on nuclear fission at the age of 22.

Honest and hard-working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement.

Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their archenemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gasses, lasers and man-eating sharks, which will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.

A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead.

Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning even though their husband and children never have time to eat it.

Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames.

The Chief of Police will always suspend his star detective - or give him 48 hours to finish the job.

Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.

Even when driving down a perfectly straight road it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.

All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.

It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.

A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.

When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.

 

Those are good.

 

You know that credi card thing works at my house, very handy when you've come home from bein out all night and cant find the keys! Dont know about wether it works if its on fire or not, dont really wanna try that...

...and no, Im not goin to tell you where I live, lol!

 

Whenever you go shopping in America you will use brown paper bags and buy at least one french bread stick which pokes out the top.

Every family in America has a wood panelled station wagon

 

The only door that works on in my house is the side door into the garage ... so I put a padlock on it.

 

That is so true!

 

Famous warriors throughout history have American accents and are of course caucasian!

 

No one ever closes a car when leaving it, but when you need to steal one, you need to break the window glass to open the door.

Don't worry if you can't hotwire the car, a spare set keys will always be hidden inside of the car.

The bad guy can spot the good guy 50 metres away, in the middle of a crowd, in a noisy and dimly lighted nightclub.

A performing actor will notice if his/her friends didn't go to the play, because they know exactly what empty seat was theirs.

An American teenager can learn in about two months what his oriental master learned in 40-odd years of hard martial arts training.

Strong hits in the head may only result in consciousness loss, and temporary amnesia, but never permanent brain damage.

Explosive-tipped arrows are standard gear of the US special forces. It's also part of their idiosincrasy not to wear the top part of their combat uniforms.

If two cops are forced to work together, one will be about to retire, the other is being investigated by Internal Affairs, or both.

The arsonist is always a fireman.

 

When ever americans go abroad, EVERYONE they talk to speaks perfect english

 

Nice posts...

Cops (or gangsters) only reload at the dramatically appropriate time.

Cops or private investigators always drive sports car.

It never rains without a good reason and when it does it pours or there is a heavy storm, no nice little shower.

Vampire movies always take place at night (days are very short, even in summertime)

Everybody looks good (even with silly costumes on)

Clothes dry almost instantly.

Bombs always stop when there is only one or a few seconds left.

Swords never break. People do silly things with edged weapons (remember Gladiator and the sword throwing?!)

You know a dramatic moment because it is in slow motion.

Flashbacks take place when the hero has nothing to do.

In romantic comedies the villain always looks the part.

 

- In addition to what 'Son of Bhaal' says: Not only do they speak perfect English, but everyone does so with American accent, less they're either french or German.

- In karate movies they always have to shout: Haii, Ouuwaa, and such.

- It's mostly the oldest and ugliest guy whom the girls adore (Chuck Noris in 'Walker Texas Ranger', and Mitch in 'Baywatch' comes into mind).

- Steven Segal always talks with a crispy almost whispering voice in his movies. That is despite of which situation he might find himself in.

- It's always the underdogs who ends up winning the girl, war, whatever.

- America is ALWAYS glorified in Hollywood productions (Think 'Pearl Harbour' and the Japanese general who says something like "I'm afraid we woken a sleeping giant". Come on, like he would really say that!).

- In war movies whenever someone dies, there's always someone around who has to tell the dying ones wife that he loves her. And in addition, it's always quite calm around him in his dying moments, even though the situation was chaotic just seconds ago.

- When speaking any foreign language that is not either french or German, they tend to actually speak a whole other language than the one they're supposed to speak (James Bond in 'Tomorrow never dies' I believe, they start up in Copenhagen, and he says something supposedly Danish, but it's rather Swedish or Norwegian; well, not Danish at least).

 

Don't you notice that in most fire fights, the bad guys hardly score a hit on the good guys whilst the good guys always shoot down the bad guys with ease?

 

The US never do anything wrong - ever!

Men come in all shapes and sizes, but women are *always* under the required weight.

Women can sometimes be flat chested, but they suddenly grow extra large breasts for a sex scene (you know this one is true) and then they shrink to nothing again.

Men can come in all ages, but women must between the ages of 18 and 25, especially if they are in a sex scene.

Never go to a secret rave or party - you will be murdered, unless you are a virgin nerd!

When attending a rave, wear stupid shiney clothing and dance like an idiot.

There is no such country as France, its called 'Europe'!

All New York police officers have pseudo Irish names.

 

The hero of the movie can take up to an average of 16 bullets before he falls, but doesnt die, if the villain get shot in the foot he explodes for no apparent reason...

 

IIRC, this was told by a german diplomat in Tokyo, whose mission was to convice the Japanese to attack to USSR instead of America.

 

The Scotsman always dies or loses in a particularly nasty fashion.

Reign Of Fire - big ass fireball
The Quest (Jean Claude Van Damne) - balls crushed by random mongolian.
Braveheart - head whapped off.
The Muppets Treasure Island (!) - the big yin takes a fall.

 

Arh, okay. In my face

 

LMAO!

Notice how that when the heroes get shot in the arm or leg, that would in affect cripple them, only cripples them for 2 minutes, until the next scene where they are using their arsenal of weaponary again better than before

The hero(s) always get beaten up bad in the beginning to save the day at the end by only just winning

 

- Extras actors always get killed with just a little cut/incision of a scalpel while 'heroes' can hang on alive even if they have irons/katanas through their body (remember Matrix III? Smith uses a scalpel to kill the nurse while Trinity takes about 20 minutes to die with 8 irons through her body)

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Not only peasants, everybody, even if the hero gets to an island full of indians/natives, even if people is lost in a lost island, etc.

- Cops/detectives ALWAYS work alone and NEVER want the new partner, who at the end of the movie will save his life or will be his best friend.

- For some reason, bad guys (like german/japanise soldiers, gangsters, etc.,) when using an automatic weapon (Uzy, etc) ALWAYS shoot the floor just right behind the 'hero' making that stupid trail of little explosions.