The SP Conspiracy Theory Thread

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Please post your favorite SP Conspiracy Theory here.

Particularly relevant would be CTs involving 1) What actually happens "behind the High Hedges"; and 2) What's really going on with the new portraits.

Enquiring minds want to know! The Truth is out there!

Just to start things rolling:

In book 7 of the Harry Potter series, "Harry Potter and the Pink Dragon Disciple", it will be discovered that Tal is the dark Lord Voldemort!

 

Shhhh!!! You've said to name of he who we must not pronounce!

 

As Dr. Jeckyll was to Mr. Hyde, so was Tal to Boo the Great, Tal's dark secret alter-ego. The fateful month Tal forgot his medication changed us all forever...

 

Based on another post of mine I think Tal discovered he was a descendant of Bhaal through the dragon line. Thus the change in Avatar. He will now try to gather all the other descendants and, of course, take over the world.

 

The truth of the new portraits:
The dark sect known as The Supreme Portait Secrecy Account Holders try to tap on the powers of the cinister Second Man called 'Extremist' to adorate the vile Taluntain, who tries (an seemingly succeeds) to corrupt our souls and transform us into enslaved internet/roleplaying geeks.

Conclusion for me: Death Rabbit is my evil twin-brother!

 

Hey man - you can't curropt and transform a dog into being a dog. We were already screwed the day we registered.

Edit: @ MoN's Conclusion,

Damn Straight!

 

You can corrupt and transform a dog into being an Underdog, though.

 

In homage to the Da Vinci Code...

chevalier is clearly both a member of Catholic sect Opus Dei, and a Templar Knight. Think about it: the unhealthy obsession with paladins; and that comment "Knight of the Everfull Chalice" may sound like a statement of eternal optimism (the glass is half-full, etc.) but is in fact a knightly order! He is using his influence to spread the Word and dominate the internet one forum at a time. He already controls our news. Eventually, he will convert the 'net, and assume the papacy. Ideally, it would have been in succession to JPII (Polish double-bill), but Benedict XVI had to be brought in as a stop-gap.
Pope Chevalier I: you know it makes sense.

And Dan Brown wondered how the Templars could have become so wealthy... Just what happens to the SPS donations if they get free hosting from the Vatican, hmm?

Of course, the might have actually invented the banking system, which was probably worth a quid or three, but that was conveniently ignored in the book.

 

I think Taluntain is trying to unite the world under a new religion of Dungeons & Dragons CRPGs! They shall be played in every household at least one hour a week in place of going to a house of prayer, and all will praise the holy trinity of Elminster, Drizzt, and CHARNAME!

 

Tal is just trying, in an insidious, round-about way, to encourage Spelly to change her avatar. And when she does, Tal can claim her old one as his own!

 

I think we are all labrats in the test of Dr. Tal. He has developed a machine which can change the people on these boards to their forum avatars and connected it to the server. So basically we're all turning to our avatars. Splunge was the first victim and after the successful test with Splunge the evil and mad Dr. Tal decided to change his avatar to a dragon a form in which he may finally take over the world!

/me looks at his chin

Eek! I think I can see a tentacle growing from my chin! Oh, oops it was just my beard.

/me goes and shaves away the stupid tentacle looking beard.

 

Tal is Elvis.

 

Go for the eyes, Tal, GO FOR THE EYES!

 

In Tal's current guise, it'd be pretty tricky to aim for the eyes rather than, say, most of the head and torso. And he wouldn't be quite so easy to carry around in your top pocket.

Heehee, I wouldn't look any different. Maybe a little dustier.

 

Perhaps Tal's avatar is a miniature giant space dragon

 

Come on guys, I thought I was off the wall.

 

What, we're all turning into our avatars? Never more!

 

Hmmm *looks down* I think there is already a great resemblance....

 

I don't want to be a gem