Sports Humor

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I was looking for Paul Gilmartin's website for something funny and rediscovered this NFL gem.

Tim the Die-Hard Packer Fan

 

If only the fans really could help the team like that.

 

How about a sports joke?

If you don't follow the NFL, you won't understand the players, but if you do, you'll probably think it's funny.

Marvin Harrison is walking down the street in Indianapolis, when he sees a house burning a few blocks away. He hurries over to the scene to realize that it's Peyton Manning's house. Peyton, along with his wife and baby are on the roof of the house, which is now almost entirely engulfed in flames. If help doesn't arrive soon, they will almost certainly die.

Marvin yells up to Peyton: "Peyton throw your baby down to me! We are the most prolific wide receiver/quarterback combination in the history of the NFL. I never drop any of your passes. It's the only chance to save your baby!"

Peyton, though very nervous, realizes that Marvin is right - it's his only chance. Peyton takes the baby from his wife, drops three steps and throws the baby in a tight spiral over the roof top.

It's a bomb of a throw - at least 60 yards in the air. Marvin immediately starts running after the baby. He's dodging cars, cutting left and right, and just before the baby hits the ground, he makes a fantastic one-handed catch, safely positioning the baby during the fall so it never touches the ground.

Peyton gives a sigh of relief, until he sees Marvin, spring to his feet, yell "Touchdown!" and spike the baby.

 

@Aldeth:


That was funny

 

Oiler coach Bum Phillips: When asked by Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all the road trips, Phillips responded, "Because she is too ugly to kiss goodbye."

 

Whilst searching for the Charlie Brown family, this was the daily comic on the page.

 

@Aldeth that was a beaut

@kuemper nice find on the snoopy front

 

I heard a humorous quip that came about in light of Cherryl Swoops "coming out of the closet"...

Every year since its inception, the WNBA has chosen an "All Straight Team". Unfortunately, the members of the team have never been announced as League Officials were never able to find more than four straight players.

 

Did anyone see the NHL hockey game between Vancouver and Calgary last Saturday? A funny thing happened to a Calgary player. He tried to pick a fight with a Vancouver guy, so he dropped his stick and gloves. The Vancouver player wasn't interested in fighting. But then the Calgary guy tripped over his own stick and fell back onto the seat of his pants. And to add insult to injury, he got the only penalty.

 

You could write an entire book on some of Yogi Berra's truisms that he's come up with. One of my personal favorites: "90% of sports is half mental".

Or how about former Monday Night Football announcer Dan Dierdorf with this prize of game insight: "In order for the Bears to win this game, they're going to have to find a way to outscore the Dolfins." Gee Dan, thanks for that in-depth analysis.

 

Yogi's great...

http://www.yogiberra.com/yogi-isms.html

and for a little more extensive list

http://rinkworks.com/said/yogiberra.shtml

 

"You three players form a square midfield." -Rolf Zetterlund

"The training camp in Spain was in Portugal somewhere" -Rolf Zetterlund

"Easy boys, you're no better than they are" -Rolf Zetterlund

"We go out and warm up in rectangular circles" -Christer Abramsson

"Come on guys, they goalie sucks too" -Christer Abramsson

"The score is 0-0, and that's because neither team has scored" -Arne Jälevik

"Soviet played best during the beginning of the 70's, especially '77 and '79."