Something I wrote for school some time ago...

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I wrote this as an assignment in my creative writing class last year; don't expect anything too good, it couldn't possibly have taken me more than 45 minutes to write. Regardless, I'd appreciate some feedback.
PS: You may recognize the main character's surname from Terry Goodkind's book, Blood of the Fold. This is because I took the name from said book for lack of a good name.


The rain slammed into the street, filled with people and all sorts of vehicles. Some were hurrying to work, others to school, and still others were going nowhere at all. Among the latter was one unremarkable man, dressed in a dirty, tattered suit that at one time had been terribly expensive. He could have been any one of thousands like him: aimless, haggard, and miserable. Looking for shelter, he started across a street. Too late it was that he saw the enormous, boxy monstrosity that was speeding toward him. Horn blaring and tires slipping, the ridiculously large SUV could not stop in time.

Then he awoke. William Brogan, for that was his name, and sat up in his bed. He looked around, and was relieved to see that everything was as it should be. Rather, almost as it should be. His alarm clock rudely informed him that it was nine o’clock, and he was late for work again. Scrambling out of bed, and bruising his arm in the process, he hurried to get dressed. William hastily threw on a suit; it was the kind of suit that said “I’m better than you, because my suit cost more than your apartment.” It matched Brogan’s arrogant, jerkish personality perfectly. After not shaving, not showering, and not brushing his hair, he was out of the house in record time.

“Spare change, mister?” a raspy-sounding person said.

“Out of my way, urchin!” screeched William. He also kicked the man’s Styrofoam cup over, spilling the man’s change.

Minutes later, William arrived at the midtown Wells Fargo bank, which happened to not be where he worked. He did, however, work at EvilCorp next door, and entered it.

“BROGAN!! You’re late AGAIN!!” yelled a Hispanic voice. The voice was attached to a very large Hispanic man named Mr. Lopez, who was William’s boss and landlord. “This is the last straw, Brogan! You’re fired! And, while I’m at it, I’m evicting you too! You haven’t paid your rent in three months!” Mr. Lopez was the kind of man who shouted a lot. “Now, get out of here!”

“No! I refuse to leave! Your filthy Hispanic threats mean nothing to me!” William proclaimed. Nobody liked William very much; he was a racist, and kicked people a lot.
Several second later, William Brogan, torn suit and all, was out in front of EvilCorp with a newly bruised rear end and a black eye. It had also started to rain, soaking him thoroughly. Dejectedly, he made his way to the nearest bar and drank all of his money away. After several hours of drinking, vomiting, and recovering, in that order, William left the now rich bar. For the next several hours, William cruised through the streets looking for homeless people. Whenever he found one, he would shout crude language at them for several minutes, before he kicked them in the arm and went off. This completely failed to cheer William up, much to his disappointment.

The rain was really pounding down, and William walked slowly along the sidewalk. He could have been any one of thousands like him: aimless, haggard, and miserable. Looking for shelter, he started across a street. Too late it was that he saw the enormous, boxy monstrosity that was speeding toward him. Horn blaring and tires slipping, the ridiculously large SUV could not stop in time.


END

 

Interesting.

Does he awake again to the sound of his alarm?

You have imagination and a flair for descriptive. Keep writing.

 

Thanks for the feedback.

Nope, this time his death is quite real. (He deserved it, the uppity bastard)

Another short story I wrote for the same teacher (which I can't seem to find... I still haven't forgiven myself for losing it) got turned into a play for my school's drama department. If I can manage to find that one, I'll post it up. (IMO, it's a major load better than this, but since I wrote it I guess I can't be much of an accurate judge )