Saddam vs. the Irish

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Saddam Hussein was sitting in his office wondering whom to invade next when his telephone rang. "Hallo, Mr. Hussein!" , a heavily accented voice said.
"This is Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Sligo, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!"
"Well, Paddy," Saddam replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"
"Right now," said Paddy, after a moment's calculation, "there is myself, my cousin Sean, my next door neighbor Seamus, and the entire dart team from the pub. That makes eight!"
Saddam paused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command."
"Begorra!", said Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back!"
Sure enough, the next day, Paddy called again. "Mr. Hussein, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"
"And what equipment would that be, Paddy?" Saddam asked.
"Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor."
Saddam sighed. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I've increased my army to 1-1/2 million
since we last spoke."
"Saints preserve us!" said Paddy. "I'll have to get back to you."
Sure enough, Paddy rang again the next day. "Mr. Hussein, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We've modified Harrigan's
ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Shamrock Pub have joined us as well!"
Saddam was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 1,000 bombers and 2,000 fighter planes. My military
complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And, since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"
"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!", said Paddy, "I'll have to ring you back."
Sure enough, Paddy called again the next day. "Top o' the mornin', Mr. Hussein! I am sorry to tell you that we have to call off the war."
"I'm sorry to hear that," said Saddam. "Why the sudden change of heart?"
"Well," said Paddy, "We've all had a long chat over a bunch of pints, and decided there's no way we can feed two million prisoners."

God it's great to be Irish!

[ February 22, 2003, 11:29: Message edited by: Elios ]

 

Alright, go Padeen! I hope he sharpened his Dragonblade for the showdown against Saddam

 

I'll stand with your pro-Irish declaration. In fact, that will be my first ever ethnic joke email.

It's great to be Irish.

 

*lol*

Great attitude to have!

 

Shure and Begorrah, what a fine story, Elios me fine lad! Sign me up for a few pints wi' the boys after the fightin be done.

 

Paddy doesn't speak that good English. And he's from Cyprus.

Pfeh. But it was funny.

Hacks close-minded people and LotR bashers into pieces

 

Lol... way to go, our Paddy...

*goes off to make e-mail*

(*joins Eze*)

 

i love that 1