Romance Mathematics....

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ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart e mployee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $1 for a $2 item he needs.
A woman will pay $5 for a $1 item that she doesn't need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

LONGEVITY

Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after
that is the beginning of a new argument.

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED:

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

LOL! I love this one...

 

Those are good ones.

I've not heard any of them, so into the archives they go.

 

the last one must be a "happy condolence".

 

Oh, lovely: humorous sexist stereotypes. Would you like to hear my collection of battered woman jokes? Or perhaps the ones about Black people?

Edit: I'm such a geek, do you know that I hoped this topic would actually be about math?

[ August 06, 2002, 08:44: Message edited by: Methylviolet ]

 

Haha

They still force a smile out of me even though i have seen them before!

 

There is more truth to these than some would be willing to admit.
Excellent.

 

lol, nice list

 

"There is more truth to these than some would be willing to admit."

That was actually going to be my first post. "Much truth to these, there is."

But I settled for adding them to my documents cdr...

 

Will you people please stop pretending that women and men are different! We are exactly alike except for the plumbing! To say anything different is sexist! Sexism is bad! You are sexist! You are bad! YOU ARE A NAZI!

[ August 06, 2002, 18:46: Message edited by: Shralp ]

 

Lol at the list
Double lol at shralp

 

Go cry to someone else! Men and women are not the same, and it just shows your ignorance if you accually belive that.

 

This is probably WAY off topic and stuff but sorta replies to the title, I found (on the net, where else?) something that said:

Hey, lets go to my room and do some math, add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide your legs and multiply.

I did NOT make it up and will not take responsibility for it

 

In the end, in our own, peverse, singularly human way, aren't we all nazis?

(don't answer that)

 

I've seen that before!!! Very funny! But one of them was wrong: A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he really needs....that's how it should look!

And women can never have enough shoes

 

Here I thought that this was actually going to be a discussion about romance and compatibility, not a bunch of sexist stereotypes that aren't always true.

The only one here that had me laughing at all is the one about your aunts. The rest were just generalizations meant for somewhat juvenile humor. Most of the relationships I've had cannot be applied to these details.

Sorry to screw up your fun, but I just had to be the unique one here.

 

Not unique -- but at least you are a guy, and so have more credibility.

I have never understood men who make sexist remarks in front of women. Don't they *want* to get laid? Not that that is really a possible outcome here, but as a general practice venting one's resentment against the sex you hope will sleep with you while they're standing there (and are presumably still deciding) seems counterproductive.

 

Sometimes a man isn't motivated solely by his phallus.

Sometimes women can fire right back.

Sometimes women are wise enough to know that there are differences between the sexes.

Sometimes women have a sense of a humor.

[PS: A little romance mathematics for you: A man can date a woman who is at least 1/2 his age plus seven years. 22-yr-olds, here I come!]

[ August 07, 2002, 20:09: Message edited by: Shralp ]

 

Y'know the older a man gets then, the worse that would get...

Women nearly always have a sense of humour, it is just more subtle and more... i dunno, just men find it less obvious. We are always having a laugh at school

Anyway... er... 1 + 1 = Window (dunno how though)

 

"Sometimes a man isn't motivated solely by his phallus."
Hm. Interesting idea. But aren't the sexist jokes above intended to convey the idea that he *is*?

"Sometimes women can fire right back."
Yes: you're seeing it.

"Sometimes women are wise enough to know that there are differences between the sexes."
Yes: but sexism is not one of them -- women can be sexist, too. Have you not heard?
Some Black people eat watermelon -- does that make racial stereotypes less offensive?

"Sometimes women have a sense of a humor."
Yes: some men would never mate if *that* were not true. And some men have a sense of humor, too -- but are too evolved to enjoy the bitterness of the sexually frustrated, or any other predjudice.

"[PS: A little romance mathematics for you: A man can date a woman who is at least 1/2 his age plus seven years. 22-yr-olds, here I come!]"
PS: "Can"? Don't you need the 22-year-olds' permission? I'd hide my bitterness, if I hoped to receive it.

And truly, I would not have thought that sexism would find a home here at SP. Knowing that there are far more men than women who like D&D and computer games, I'd think we would want SP to be a welcoming place for women, not a "He-Man Woman-Haters Club." Perhaps not, hey, Tal?