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Real life story found on '5.25

Discussion in 'Whatnots' started by ayecapitan, Jul 26, 2001.

  1. ayecapitan Guest

    [​IMG] That has happened quite some time ago, when one night an elphant ran away from the zoo to cruise the streets of the City. The animal was not good in concrete jungle navigation, so quite soon it was in a remote rural area, on a backyard of a pot addict. The peaceful animal started picking up cabbages and feed, while the man (having a puff or two already) looked at it in the window. The situation annoyed the addict and he called the cops:

    Addict: Hey dude, is it cops' station?
    Policeman: Yes sir, what is your problem?
    Addict: Dude, I have a giant mouse in my backyard, picking up cabbages with its tail!
    Policeman:(with a hint of sarcasm) Ah-hah, and what is it doing with them?
    Addict: I'd tell ya, but ya won't believe!

    Question: Why did pot addict grow cabbages in the backyard of a house situated far from urban civilization?
     
  2. The Fat Egg Gems: 15/31
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    i dont know the answer, but the story is funny as hell
     
  3. Gash Gems: 14/31
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    Maybe he just loved the cabbagey goodness you only get from junkie brand cabbages.
     
  4. ayecapitan Guest

    Addicts' supernatural abilities topic is continued in the second .rtf:

    And addict, a metallist and a biker sit behind the high wall.

    Metallist: If I had my chains, I'd grapple the wall and climb over!

    Biker: Ha! If I had my Harley, I'd take a run and jump over the wall!

    Addict: (in a calm tone) I'd just take a puff and fly.......

    But the alcohol addicted people, too, recieve their benefits from taking their concoctions in. Here is another real-life story from the diskette...

    A 3-man boat crashed on a communist island (I won't point the finger) and the crew was subsequently captured by bearded people wielding AK-47 and even older weapons of Soviet origin. The island authorities had given the crew an ultimatum - who shoots a parrot on a top of a tree a mile away from the shooter goes back to the home country (I won't point the finger :)). Each member of a crew is entiteled to whatever weapon he wants or whatever inventory he needs to perform the feat. Of course, due to the limited supply of technology on the pro-communist island none of the crewmen were able to get PSG-1 or even an M24 for them to use. But the island had alcohol in abundance as well as older types of firearms. Here is how it went.

    First crewman
    Takes a beer, takes an S&W .38, shoots, of course misses, gets shot by communists.

    Second crewman
    Takes a whiskey or two, takes a Tommygun, makes a long burst, misses, gets brutally shot by communists.

    Third crewman taught be the experience of his comrades

    Takes a glass of vodka, looks at the parrot. Takes more - looks, frowns, takes the whole 2-litre bottle and aims his sawed off double barell. Shoots. Parrot takes it in the eye and falls.

    After the shootout...

    Commie: How did you do it?

    Man: How? (hicups) How a hell could I (hicups) miss? 8 shotguns and the sky's (hicups) covered in parrots...



    [This message has been edited by ayecapitan (edited July 27, 2001).]
     
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