POLL: Numerous Partners

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In another thread it was suggested that homosexuals tend to have a far greater number of sexual partners than hererosexuals do. I found such thinking rather strange, so I decided to make a poll about it.

To put some more concrete numbers to it, it was suggested that a typical heterosexual would have 10 sexual partners in the course of one's lifetime, whereas a typical homosexual would have 100 sexual partners, and sometime even as many as 1000.

This is part of my post from the other topic that sums up my feelings pretty well:

I'm listing two separate questions, one pertaining to male homosexuals compared to the general popualtion, and the other to female homosexuals as compared to the general population. I'm curious to see if there is some gender bias working as well.

EDIT: Spelling

[ December 14, 2004, 21:30: Message edited by: Aldeth the Foppish Idiot ]

Poll Information
This poll contains 2 question(s). 34 user(s) have voted.
You may not view the results of this poll without voting.

Poll Results: Numerous Partners (34 votes.)

As compared to the general population, do you feel that female homosexuals have: (Choose 1)
* more sexual partners than the typical heterosexual female - 12% (4)
* fewer sexual partners than the typical heterosexual female - 26% (9)
* about the same number of sexual partners as the typical heterosexual female - 62% (21)

As compared to the general population, do you feel that male homosexuals have: (Choose 1)
* more sexual partners than the typical heterosexual male - 29% (10)
* fewer sexual partners than the typical heterosexual male - 15% (5)
* about the same number of sexual partners as the typical heterosexual male - 56% (19)

 

I find this hard to answer. Among heterosexuals I think the average woman has more sexual partners than the average man but that the average man would have more if possible. My theory is that there are some dudes who have a whole lot of women while your average Joe just have a few partners.

Not really related to this but somewhat anyway is that I think that men are more sexually agressive than women both by nature and by upbringing. A man with multiple oppurtunities to have sex would probably take quite a few of them. Seeing thus as male homosexuals are two men the sexual aggresiveness and possibility for sex would be at least twice that of a straight man. In theory that would mean that male homosexuals have more partners than straight people in female homosexuals had fewer partners than straight people.

That is theory, I have no empirical evidence to back this up with and the little experience I have with homosexual men shows that they are not more promiscious than others and suffer the same problems as straight people in finding people.

I am refraining from voting as I really have no idea, well, I have lots of ideas but no knowledge.

I would like to give you cudos for including lesbians in this poll as well. All the gay bashers seems to solely focus on male homosexuals and ignore the female ones, mostly because I think the male homosexuals threathens these insecure men alot more than the thought of hot girl on girl sex.

 

@ joacquin - you can still vote. I'm basically asking what you think - kind of like your gut reaction. I'm certainly not here to tell you whether you are right or wrong, because obviously I can't provide any evidence to support my opinions either.

 

Well! I dont know what I think! My gut reaction is that gay men screw around constantly just for the sheer possibility of it! This simply because when I look at straight men many many many many of them screw every girl they get half a chance at and I really dont see why gay men would be any different.

When it comes to lesbians I have no gut reaction at all.

My gut reaction when it comes to gay men however is contradicted by what little empirical experience I have of gay men. None of the gay men I have been in contact with have been more promiscious than your average dude.

 

Yeah. The same what joacqin said.

And yeah, I think the average lesbian has less partners than the average male homosexual (when I say "homosexual", I mean both male and female, in case anyone's wondering), due to the male sexual aggressiveness factor, also as joacqin said.

Another thing is, it was I who brought up those statistics with extreme numbers ranging from 100 to 1000. That was, however, true for the seventies. The era of militant sexual freedom and the outbreak of gay lib movements. Combine the two and take into consideration and some great numbers are bound to pop up. Personally, I don't think it's so high for gay people who live in normal environments. But environments promoting the widely understood gay lifestyle tend to promote promiscuity as well. Consider the spread of STDs. Sometimes the STD figures in a given gay community look like everyone slept with everyone. It's an environmental thing. Doesn't have any inherent ties with homosexuality per se, so far as I know. Civilise the pro-gay movements and activists, and promiscuity figures will fall. Again, the double male aggressiveness factor will still work, so the average homosexual man will always have more partners than the average heterosexual man. Unless women become so aggressive as men. But... you know... getting rebuked doesn't make you more virtuous, nor does being accepted for sex make you any more promiscuous than unsuccessful trying. So the point is probably moot.

Environments being environments, I don't like generalisations like "all gay people are promiscuous". One example isn't all, a group isn't all, even the majority isn't all. Heck, I could come up with gay saints in the Catholic Church.

Some statistics from California:

http://www.inoohr.org/homosexualstatistics.htm

And from Australia:

http://www.saltshakers.org.au/html/P/9/B/288/

As for the mess in gay statistics, refer here:

http://members.aol.com/gaymatter/monog.htm

Links there lead to a page where a gay person speaks about gay couples' approach to monogamy, even in evironments different from the standard gay lib movement environment (including Christian gays in those churches that accept such unions). I was surprised to hear about all those "agreed exceptions" from monogamy or monogamy limited to limited periods of time. Perhaps there is a tie between homosexuality and problems with staying monogamous? I thought it was only an enviromental thing, but maybe I was wrong.

[ December 14, 2004, 23:53: Message edited by: chevalier ]

 

There are a ot f heterrosexual people whho are not monogamous in their relationships; but since monogamy is such a taboo subject, thanks to the whhole ideal of "marriage is sacred" it is not spoken openly; as such, someone whose lifestle is already "outside the parameters" would thusly be more willing to be open about such things as well.

(Yes, I know my phrasing sucks here)

 

I've read in many places (none of which are probably very reputable given the US press) the AIDS epidemic has made a drastic change in the sexual practices of most homosexuals. I believe the fear of getting AIDS is far greater for homosexuals than it is for heterosexuals; hence, the tendancy for multiple partners has greatly diminished in the gay community.

 

@t2Bruno - Before the AIDS epidemic, there were fewer reasons for homosexuals to actually use condoms - after all, it is pretty much impossible to get someone of the same gender pregnant, and most SYDs would not kill you. As such, the effect has not been one of monogamy but rather safe sex.

As it is, homosexual relationships tend to be subject to far more social pressure than heterosexual ones, and thus the amount of serious relationships that end without a monogamous conmmitment are greater.

 

I beg your pardon... being subject to social pressure makes gay couples agree on exceptions from monogamy or cheat on partners? Sorry, that's completely illogical.

You could argue that social pressure in hostile environments makes it more difficult to sustain a gay relationship. But more difficult to be faithful? Especially if you have less temptation because the number of gay people of your gender is so obviously lower than the number of hetero people of your gender? Sorry, that doesn't hold at all.

 

As it is, my argument is not exactly well worded, thus here is a clarification:

"he amount of serious relationships that end without a monogamous commitment are greater."

(ignore the grammar) the important word here is END. What I try to say is that thanks to social pressure, many relationships that might have ended up in a monogamy/the equivalent of marriage are broken up; this would affect the amount of partners-in-average without it being an issue of promiscuity.

it is also the social pressure that keeps people "in the closet" that contributes to the amount of one-night stands and short relationships; the fear of being ostracized due to a same-sex relationship is very prevalent in the modern society.

 

I beg you pardon again... are you actually suggesting that a serious relationship needs still to develop into a monogamous relationship?

The standard for all relationships whatsoever is to be monogamous. Unless humans have become unable to stick to one partner at a time since I last checked.

Sleeping around is not yet a standard. As a rule, beginning at the latest with the moment one calls someone his/her partner, boyfriend, girlfriend or whatever, one is expected to stop sleeping with other people. From the very start, not from the point where one or one's partner deem the relationship serious. "Serious" or not, sleeping with other people when one's in a relationship is plain cheating. There are no stages here.

So it's normal to sleep around on girlfriends, boyfriends, even fiance(e)s?

I'm quite sure that arrangement excluding sexual exclusivity is not yet a common standard for relationships.

 

Note to self: stay away from AoDA after midnight...

Seems like I have been still more confusing in my statements; as it is, a serious relationship, in this context, is a monogamous one. I should have said the equicalent of marriage commitment-wise; that there is an intention to stay in the relationship under all circumstances.

As it is, I think I will try explaining this again after I get some sleep.

 

I don't believe that sexual fidelity is confined to choice of the gender of your sexual partner. Meaning thta a man in a relationship with another man is as likeley to be faithful or adulterous as a man in a relationship with a woman.

If the two involved are going to have sex, they will have sex. If they aren't going to, then they won't. Again, these decisions aren't based solely on the genders of the partners.

Relationships are not guaranteed. What may seem to be the greatest relationship at one point, may degenerate to a living hell later on. At some point they may end, leaving both sides to find the next relationship. Again, I doubt this is confined to male-male or woman-woman relations. I've tried the Internet dating thing, and see a lot of women on the Mormon web sites that have been divorced or widowed. When they re-marry, they will be taking an additional sexual partner. And we can safely assume that most of them are straight...

The number of partners one has is not restricted to what gender they choose. There were several years where I didn't follow my religeous beliefs. My lack os sexual activity wasn't by choice. Back then, I would have had other partners if I could have...

 

I can't imagine anyone having over 100 partners in their lifetime never mind 1000. I don't even know 1000 people.

 

I had assumed that the "100" figure was lifetime. 106 parnters per year?!? That's about two different partners every single week. Now granted they say between 20 and 106, so I'm assuming that those numbers make up the take into account one standard deviation from the average - maybe two standard deviations. But still that seems like a whole lot.

I mean, I know a lot of married couples that don't have sex with each other 106 times in a year. For me, I'd guess my wife and I have sex about twice a week, but two different people every week with no repeats? I find it surprising that someone who was gay could meet 106 gay people of the same gender per year!

 

That was wee bit more than we needed to know, thank you.

 

Between 20 and 106 partners in a year versus eight in a lifetime? Was this taken out a christian review?

If you are going to compare, you need an accurate baseline. Using all heterosexuals is not an accurate baseline. I know of many heterosexuals that would fall in that 20 to 106 partners in a year (there's a reason sailors have certain reputations) -- those individuals have a different opinion of sex and relationships than the highly religious people I know (many of which chose to remain chaste until marriage).

The studies being quoted are misleading and seem to be more of the (not so very) christian propaganda type. The first two studies quoted by Chev are obvious gay-bashing.

 

Well, to me, it's the 20-106 per year that I find surprising. Taking an average of about 60 per year, and we're talking about ridiculous amounts of partners over the course of a lifetime. Eight in a lifetime sounds a little low to me, but not completely unreasonable, espeically because as was said, some people do not have sex until they get married, in which cases, their total is 1.

 

Sorry, but that's BS. Totally illogical.

Why is a comparison between ALL heterosexuals and ALL homosexuals unfair? Because we need to choose the more promiscuous of heterosexuals for the comparison with ALL homosexuals to be valid? That's more or less what you say. Do you realise that by saying that you suggesting that promiscuity is an innate trait of homosexuality? That's quite a nice bit of gay bashing on your own part.

On a logical level, do you also realise that if you picked the more promiscuous of heterosexuals to compare them with homosexuals, the result would ONLY be valid for SOME heterosexuals and NOT ALL? The exact conclusion could be "gay people are per average exactly as promiscuous as the more promiscuous part of the heterosexual population". Heck, this way you could pick the most promiscuous of heterosexuals and draw a conclusion like "gay people per average are less promiscuous than the most promiscuous of heterosexuals".

Logic-wise, that is

 

Then again, you really have no idea how the data was collected in the completely bogus statistic examples you linked to.