Pearls O' Wisdom...

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I thought this was funny! The first one is from a bar in my state! I've even been really drunk there!!! Enjoy!

Friends don't let friends
take home ugly men
Women's restroom
Starboard, Dewey Beach, DE

The best way to a man's heart
is to saw his breast plate open.
Women's restroom
Murphy's, Champaign, IL

Beauty is only a light switch away.
Perkins Library, Duke University, Durham, NC
>

I've decided that to raise my grades
I must lower my standards.
Houghton Library
Harvard University, Cambridge, MA

If life is a waste of time,
and time is a waste of life,
then let's all get wasted together
and have the time of our lives.
Armand's Pizza, Washington, DC

Remember, it's not,
"How high are you?"
it's
"Hi, how are you?"
Rest stop off Route 81, West Virginia

God made pot.
Man made beer.
Who do you trust?
The Irish Times, Washington, DC

No matter how good she looks,
some other guy is sick and tired
of putting up with her crap.
Men's Room
Linda's Bar and Grill, Chapel Hill, NC

To do is to be. - Descartes
To be is to do. - Voltaire
Do be do be do. - Frank Sinatra
Men's restroom
Greasewood Flats, Scottsdale, AZ

At the feast of ego
everyone leaves hungry.
Bentley's House of Coffee and Tea, Tucson, AZ

It's hard to make a comeback
when you haven't been anywhere.
Written in the dust
on the back of a bus,Wickenburg, AZ

Make love, not war.
-Heck, do both
GET MARRIED!
Women's restroom
The Filling Station, Bozeman, MO

God is dead. - Nietzsche
Nietzsche is dead. - God
The Tombs Restaurant, Washington, DC

If voting could really change things,
it would be illegal.
Revolution Books
New York, New York.

If pro is opposite of con,
then what is the opposite of progress?
Congress!
Men's restroom
House of Representatives, Washington, DC

Express Lane:
Five beers or less
Sign over one of the urinals
Ed Debevic's, Phoenix, AZ

 

If an injury has to be done to a man it should be so severe that his vengeance need not be feared.
Niccolo Machiavelli (1469 - 1527)

Never explain--your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe you anyway.
Elbert Hubbard (1856 - 1915)

Cynicism is an unpleasant way of saying the truth.
Lillian Hellman(1905 - 1984)

Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
Benjamin Franklin (1706 - 1790)

I have discovered that all human evil comes from this: man's being unable to sit still in a room.
Blaise Pascal (1623 - 1662)

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
Herm Albright (1876 - 1944)

Get all the fools on your side and you can be elected to anything.
Frank Dane

 

"It is better to dwell in the the wilderness, than with a contentious and angry woman."
-Proverbs 21:19

"If at first you don't susceed - try again, if you still fail, call the pros at A+ Pluming."
-I saw this on a company van near my house last week.

 

"It's better to be silent and thought a fool than it is to open your mouth and prove it."
- I don't know who

"Sex is like oxygen; it's only important to you when you aren't gettin' any."
- I don't know this one either...but who cares? Still good.

"If you smoke after sex, you're doing it too fast."
- Woody Allen

"You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist."
- Ghandi, I don't know when

"Now you know that evil will always triumph, because good is DUMB."
- Dark Helmet, 1987

"Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter!"
- Yoda

and a few I picked up through martial arts training...

- If you think you can, you're right. If you think you can't, you're right. (this one just kicks ass)

- When you speak, you hear what you already know. But when you listen, you hear what someone else knows.

- He is wise who has many councilors (like at SP! )

 

"You do not see what you see, you see what is shown to you"

 

"When you speak, you hear what you already know. But when you listen, you hear what someone else knows."

That one.. that one rock.

The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' (I've found it!), but 'That's funny...'
-Isaac Asimov

There's A Fine Line Between Genius And Insanity. I Have Erased This Line
-Unknown

The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his
-General Patton

Don't think of it as being outnumbered, think of it as a wide target selection
-Unknown

Do, or do not. There is no 'try'
-Yoda

Just drive down that road, until you get blown up.
-General George Patton, about reconnaissance troops

You don't love a woman because she is beautiful, but she is beautiful because you love her.
-Unknown

 

"Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure...than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat." -- Theodore Roosevelt.

"I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State.
My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own,
so both of them together is certain death." -- George Carlin.

"Understanding is a three edged sword. Your side, their side, and the truth." -- Unknown.

“To run or to fight, it doesn’t matter. You’ll either be judged the Coward, or the Fool.” -- Faragon Fëamith.

 

For any XY given the best possible method of overcoming the proper resistance of XY is not taking cognisance of the said resistance.

chevalier's law of resistance

 

Pain is the burden of the helpful.
~Teacher at my old School.

There is nothing that doesn't happen, everything happens, what you have not done here you have done eleswhere.
~Nephre.

However much you hate yourself, the day you realise you are pretty is the day realise you need to be true to yourself and not the others.
~Hannah.

Those who heard her last words will know they were truly her own, only she could say "Buggerit I'm dead for sure" and make everyone smile.
~Anonymous priest at a funeral.

 

-That woman got brain, just look at the breasts she's got.

Heinrich Heine

-Trees don't grow into the sky

Saying

-Wherever they burn books they will also, in the end, burn human beings.

Heinrich Heine

-First the food, then the morale

Berthold Brecht

- I was raised right. Whatever you say is wrong, whatever I say is right.

Eminem

-You can't argue with popularity. Well you could, but you'd be wrong

Robbie Williams

[ June 03, 2003, 20:20: Message edited by: Yago ]

 

Some days you've got to accept to being the statue, on others you are the pigeon - that fella from "The Office".

 

How did this turn into a quotes thread?!?!?

My quotes were things written on walls in bathrooms/urinals/wc's/Lu's (did I spell the alst one right?)

This was supposed to be funny...not educational!

 

Well, the title, "Pearl's Wisdom" is somewhat misleading if you were going for humor Bel

And how did you get the ones from the Women's Restroom? Is there something you wish to tell us Sir Bel?

 

All the quotes seem relevant to me. This one on the other hand, judge for yourself, but you can't say it isn't a pearl of wisdom:

"Confuscious he say, go to bed with itchy hole, wake up with smelly finger! " From the book, Paddy Clarke Ha Ha Ha.

 

What's wrong with visiting the women's bathroom?!?!? IT'S FULL OF WOMEN!!!!!

 

And horny pagans

 

Luck is a beautiful woman but she is having an affair with someone else

 

Sword, meet evil. EVIL, MEET SWORD!

I think everybody knows, who said that.

I love the smell of the daisies in the morning!

And I think that you know that one too.

 

It's just like the story of the grasshopper and the octopus.

All year long the grasshopper kept burying acorns for the winter, while the octopus mooched off his girlfriend, and watched TV.

Then the winter came, and the grasshopper died, and the octopus ate all his acorns. And also he got a race car.

Is any of this getting through to you?

- Philip J. Fry