Once In a Blue Moon

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This is a story i worked on for NANOWRIMO last november and i wanted to get some opinions on it. This is only one chapter bur it is very long so if you dont want to read 4000 words or so turn around now. I am aware that there is probably some grammar points but i just want opinions on it. Criticize it however you want.

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ONCE IN A BLUE MOON
CHAPTER ONE
Even through his younger years as a child he had always been very physically weak. Even now as he helped his brother cut the wood with a saw he could feel blisters throbbing his hands and pains along his scrawny arms. Teru looked at his younger brother. Llorhan was breathing hard and finding it hard to cope with the work.

“Do you want to call it a day, brother?” Llorhan shook his head but Teru dropped the saw and his brother collapsed to the ground, out of breath. “You shouldn’t push yourself so hard, little brother.”

“I just want to be as strong as you, Te,” said Llorhan between breaths.

“I’m sorry to say you won’t be,” stated Teru. “You have a sharp mind, I don’t. I know this and I accept it. You should accept that I’m naturally strong, you are not. Knowing your weaknesses is a great strength. Go for a walk to recover. See you at dinner.” Teru laughed and went inside of the wooden house.

Llorhan looked out over Dale as he walked to the forest path. It was peaceful here and everyone in Dale knew everyone in Dale. Sure, not everyone liked each other but you always get people who don’t like each other. Llorhan, however, was quite well liked, despite there being three bullies who constantly picked on him because he was weaker. Llorhan prayed to the gods that he would not meet them while waking through the Forest of Tel.

He thought of how jealous he was of his brother. The bastard was so strong. True he was twelve and Teru was fourteen and almost an adult but he was so strong, fast and much more liked than he was. Teru did work for people in the village, helping them out with chores,. And they paid him for it. No matter how jealous Llorhan was of his brother, he could not deny that he loved him dearly. He moved to his favourite spot at a tree overlooking Dale. He climbed up it and even after hoisting himself up a few branches he felt out of breath. He sat hidden in the leaves of the large tree and looked over his home village.

He could see small children playing in the fields while some farmer’s worked in them. Smoke rose up from the small forge where the blacksmith Buir would be busy making horseshoes. Llorhan liked Buir, he was nice to him. Last year for his birthday Buir made him a small broche made from pure silver and given it to him. It was shaped in the form of a raven. “The smartest of all birds,” Buir had said. “I thought it would suit someone as smart as you.” This piece would have set his parents back fifty gold. More money than Llorhan had ever seen. However, Buir was a jolly fellow and liked Llorhan very much. A few months back, Calis and his two lackeys, Ker and Gusle the local bullies had beaten Llorhan until he gave the broche to them to stop. They had stopped and Llorhan had told his brother all about. Teru had walked out of the house and twenty minutes later returned with the broche. It now sat holding Llorhan’s grey cloak around him, it hung over his white tunic and trousers. His long brown hair fell over the hood, which was not up. He examined Dale with his strange eyes and his thin mouth merged into a smile which remained there all day.

Llorhan had stayed there all day admiring the village and the surrounding hills and mountains. He looked up into the clear night sky at the stars. His father had told him that whenever someone died that the gods would light a candle for every person to remember them by and these candles were so bright that they could be seen from Dale. He looked at the moon, which hung like a white sickle in the sky. He had asked his father about the moon, and he said the people of the Dale believed that when you died you went to the moon, which was a gateway to the next world. Llorhan dropped from the boughs of the tree and landed on the ground. He made his way back home, allowing his eyes to adjust to the darkness of the forest. He was not scared of the forest as many people his age were. They believed ghosts of dead people who had not passed through the moon, dwelled within Tel. Llorhan did not believe this. It was absurd. But he did not deny there was something strange about Tel. Llorhan could not explain it but he felt at home here. With the animals and trees. He would live here if he could, but the forest could not mimic the brilliant cooking of his mother and his family’s love. He decided to make it back for his dinner.

He made his way to the lighted path, which connected Dale to the fishing town and port of Sequel straight through Tel. Llorhan turned left along the trail keeping in the middle between the tracks, which many carts left on their way to or from the sea. Llorhan looked up from the ground and stooped. Ahead of him stood Calis, Gusle and Ker. Calis was about the same height was Llorhan but of a more powerful build. His hook nose hung under his evil green eyes and his ugly face was shaped in a sneer. The other two were half a foot taller than Llorhan and had massive frames. Both had blonde straw like hair.

“Evening, weed,” said Calis as he walked up to Llorhan menacingly. “What you got for us this time.” Calis saw the broche, his eyes lightened up with greed. “I think I’ll take that again. This time, if you want it back, come yourself. You pathetic worm. Hand it over or you know what happens.” Ker and Gusle advanced and pushed Llorhan to the ground threatening to kick him.

“Take it, Take it.” Screamed Llorhan not wanting to be kicked by boys who were one year older than him and much bigger and stronger than he was. He unfastened the broche and threw it to Calis who caught it expertly and placed it in his pocket.

He sneered again and nodded to Ker and Gusle, who proceeded to kick Llorhan on the ground. Llorhan screamed in agony as boots it his arms, body and face. Calis stood there and laughed. A hand grabbed his shoulder and turned him around, Teru threw a closed fist into Calis’s nose which exploded with blood as the bone snapped. Calis fell to the ground in agony clutching his face. Ker and Gusle turned around to see Calis on the ground and Teru standing defiant before them. They raised their hands, they were not stupid enough to know when not to fight. Everyone there knew Teru would be like a lion among wolves. They helped Calis up never removing their eyes from the sharp features and the blue cold eyes of the tall boy.

“The broche.” Demanded Teru, his voice barely above a whisper but it spoke with huge authority. They obeyed him. “Get out of here, touch my brother again and I’ll rip your throats out,” bellowed Teru who then moved over to his brother. “Are you alright,” rolling his brother onto his back. Purple bruises were on his face and on his arms. “Come on lets get you home.” He picked him up and carried him home cradled in his powerful arms.

It took him a full half an hour to get home where he laid Llorhan on his bed. Their mother and father were all ready asleep. Llorhan looked at the face of his brother. It was sharp and there was a deep affection for Llorhan in those deep blue eyes, he knew this. His brother’s long blonde hair swept over his face and his thin lipped mouth opened and closed as he slept. Llorhan shut his brown eyes and fell asleep.

Llorhan awake in a cold sweat. Another nightmare, he thought. Although he could remember this one vividly. He was running through Tel, being chased by Calis and his friends. They were older though as was Llorhan. He was running as fast as his weak legs would let him but they were catching up on him. He veered off the track and ran towards the Tel waterfall. He stood at the edge of the pool beneath the great waterfall and turned around. Calis and crew stood in front of him walking towards him slowly. All of a sudden a beast leapt over Llorhan and charged Calis, who did not move. It ripped him apart before shredding the other two in a blink of an eye. It ambled towards Llorhan who tried to run but couldn’t. It was three feet away from him, drool dripped from its mouth and there was blood covering the beast’s snout and fur. Llorhan had never seen a creature like it although there was certain wolf-like features visible in it’s face. It leapt at Llorhan before vanishing into mid-air inches from his face. Llorhan had looked around at the mutilated corpses of the bullies. The sight was sickening, there bodies were unrecognisible. He looked down at his hands and clothes, they were covered in blood.

Llorhan looked around the small bedroom he shared with his brother, his face was painful from the bruises he had received the night before. The room was dark and there was little light coming from the southern facing window. Teru stirred and looked over at his brother. He turned over and went back to sleep. Llorhan stood up and went through to the kitchen. It was dark inside the house and he peered into his parent’s bedroom. His mother was asleep but his father was not in the room. He went into the kitchen and poured himself a drink of water from the large canteen and went into the living room. He was surprised to see his father sitting in the large armchair in front of a pile of logs, which were not lit.

“Can’t sleep, son,” he said, his eyes barely moving from the unlit fire before him.

“No, you?” his father shook his head. “I had another nightmare.” Llorhan sat down on the large couch across the room. His father stood up and bent over to lit the fire. It lit up the room with a newfound warmth, and Llorhan could feel himself more comfortable. His father looked over and saw the bruises.

“Have you been fighting, son?” accused his father.

“No,” Llorhan hesitated, he knew how disappointed his father was at how weak he was. “I was attacked by three bully’s and they tried to steal my broche, if it hadn’t been for Teru who knows what they wouldn’t have done.” He could read the pride of Teru in his father’s face but his face soon hardened.

“Did you not stand up to them?” the disappointment was barely concealable in the hard features in his father’s face. His father was the strongest man in he village and everyone had noticed how his fine son Teru had grown big and strong and how he had sired a weakling like Llorhan. “I love you, Llorhan but you need to learn to stick up for yourself. Teru can’t be around all the time.”

“Will you teach me how to fight?” asked Llorhan.

Lorten sat there in silence but Llorhan knew his father had not misheard him and was just thinking about the question. “I just think if you became good at fighting I think you would just use it for your own goals.”

“You used it in 'The War,'” pointed out Llorhan. "You killed people."

“But I used fighting and my power to fight for the freedom of our way of life. We won because in the hearts of our people we knew we had no option. We had to survive to preserve our way of life. To protect you and Teru and your mother.”

“I just want to defend myself.” Lorten thought for a while again and stared at the fire.

“I don’t know if you’re ready. I don’t think your fit enough.” He saw the disappointment in his son’s face. “Tell you what. When the sun is up, you can help me with some work to make you stronger. Then when I think you’re strong I’ll teach you. How does that sound?” He could see his son’s strange eyes light up wiht happiness. He ran over to his father kissed his brow and went back through to his bed.

Lorten smiled his son, “strange eyes” some called him. One was green, the other had no pigment at all it was pure white save for the pupil. He chuckled to himself. He loved his son and loved to see him happy. He hated himself for wishing he was as strong as Teru. His wife stepped into view.Loten smiled.

“You’re a good father,” she said.

“Oh, Naimes, my love,” he stroked her beautiful face as she sat on his knee. He kissed her on her full lips, running his fingers throw her long flowing blonde hair. “I’m so lucky,” he thought. “The most beautiful women in the village married me.” He rose holding her in his arms and carried her through to the bedroom where they made love.

Llorhan was woken in the morning by his father, who gestured for him to follow, Teru lay there snoring his loudest. The went outside after Llorhan had dressed. Together they jogged slowly down to the blacksmith’s and then to the river. They stopped there and Lorten removed his top and wade into the river. Llorhan stood at the side gasping for air as he recovered from the run. His father gestured for him to come in. Reluctantly Llorhan removed his cloak and his tunic laying them carefully on the bank. He stepped in the water and waded into towards his father. The water was extremely cool and somewhat reviving. He felt as if he had just been for a sleep and was fully recovered.

“I do this every morning, I warm up then cool down.” Explained Lorten. He looked at his son. “This stretches your muscles and the magic and power of the river revives you back to full strength to begin a hard days work. Every morning I want you to do this, even if I don’t come with you. Bathe in the river for about half an hour and then meet me at the farm.”

The lay in the river for the best part of an hour when Buir came along. “Morning,” he said before stripping of his top and joining them. “How are you both? Ah, young sir it’s your birthday soon I gather. I’ll have a present for you again. Haven’t decided what to make you yet.” The beefy man laughed an d ruffled the Llorhan’s hair. Llorhan looked into the chubby face of Buir. He looked like the fat jolly people you hear about in stories the ones who everyone liked and was friendly to every one he met. He had a great deal of admiration for the short blacksmith. “My word, son, what happened to your face.” He said suddenly spotting the bruises on Llorhan’s face.

Llorhan shook his head, “Nothing I…er….fell out of a tree.” He said quickly saying the first thing that came into his head. The blacksmith nodded and said no more about it, both father and son knew he was not convinced. He leaned his head back and threw water over before leaving to go back to the forge.

After a while Lorten swam to the bank and dried placed his tunic over his wet body. “Come on can’t be in there all day, you’ll shrivel like the lord.” They laughed and Llorhan followed his father’s example. The two of them made there way along the riverbank and crossed the bridge to the cow pastures and crossed this to reach the town farmhouse.

Dale only had one farmhouse but huge fields to grow crops and pastures for cattle to graze in. Everyone in the rural community banded together to raise and feed the bovine except the Lord, although he donated money to help, he had his own private farm to the north. The two of them were the first there and began to do the morning work at the farm. Llorhan for the first time worked alongside his father and he had enjoyed. They spent the morning tending the cattle and the horses, which were used to pull the carts to Sequel and the docks there. They weeded the crops and at the end of it Llorhan could feel pains all over his body. He and his father made their way home and had a fulfilling lunch which filled up their empty stomachs.

“That was a good morning you did well,” praised his father. “You did me proud you stuck at keep it up. Then I’ll teach how to fight when you’re muscles build. Take the afternoon off. We’ll do this everyday except the fourth of the week that is rest day for us. Go on relax.” Legion had gone to his favourite spot at the tree and concentrated on absolutely nothing allowing his mind to wander into the dark caves of Dwelmin and letting him face the dangers of the underworld fighting demons and always coming out without a scratch and rescuing the damsel in distress and being revered by many people. He was the strongest and the most handsome in the family winning praise from everyone. He would be the strongest one in the family. He vowed to be able to beat his brother in the contest in Dale.

For the next three weeks Llorhan pushed himself to the limits as far as he could. Ignoring the aches and pains he got, the twinges in his neck. It was coming up to his birthday and his father gave him the week off to relax and meditate “A strong body is nothing without a strong will.” His father had said to him a lot over the past three weeks. “And anyway you’ve been pushing yourself too hard take a break.”

Llorhan clambered into his bed at midnight too excited to sleep he wondered what presents he would get, what would his brother get him. Would Buir have something knew for him, what would the people of the Dale get him. Birthdays were a special time for the people of Dale. There were only around a hundred and fifty people in the small hamlet and they all knew each other. It was a time when everyone banded together to celebrate the birth of a villager. It was a sacred time to the people of Dale. Thirteen was a special age it was the coming of age and when everyone in the town got a single present for the birthday boy or girl. Last year Teru had been given a small pony. He had adored it but it was struck with lung blight in the winter and was very weak. Eventually wolves got to it. Teru was devastated and the village bonded together to give him another one. It was not his birthday but everyone in the village felt sorry for him and got him another one anyway. Such was the closeness of these people. Llorhan hoped for a pony it would be nice to have a proper friend. Many people treated ponies as carriers but Llorhan loved them. His pony would be a friend. He fell asleep wondering what his pony would be like.

He woke up next morning and his mother was standing over him giving him a sparkling smile. “Happy birthday darling,” she hugged and kissed him. “Come on it’s your thirteenth today. Get up, get dressed.” And she hurried out of the room to get Llorhan’s best clothes. He pulled himself out of the bed and went through to the kitchen. His mother rushed towards him. “Come on put these on and we’ll go down to the field of awakening.” He got dressed and followed his mother to the field of awakening. Nobody knew why it was called the field of the awakening but that’s what people called it and where every thirteenth birthday party had happened.

The field was about an acre and there was a huge table for all the villagers including the lord who was unmarried and into his forties by now. As Llorhan made his way to the table people smiled and beamed at him. Some shook his hand, women hugged him. Men slapped him on the back saying “Yer a man now, sonny.” Llorhan smiled at the irony in the sentence but shrugged it off, thanking everyone. Through the crowds he could see Calis and his two friends looking at him with nothing but contempt. Calis drew his finger across his throat and mouthed, “You’re dead.” Llorhan merely smiled and moved along before sitting at the table.

Llorhan sat alongside his family and the Lord sat to his right. From the head of the table he could see everyone in the village. Buir the blacksmith, Kelis the foreign trader whom he had spoken to little, Hu the lord sat alone to his left his face slightly grave. Llorhan examined Hu, his long dark hair was streaked with grey and hit was tied in a ponytail at the back of his head. He had a long similarly coloured beard hanging from his chin and almost reaching his waist. He was large, though not fat, muscles adorned his vast frame and people would have to think twice about picking a fight with him. He looked oddly comical in his appearance his large crooked nose and his long obscenely red robe. Although those eyes. They were fierce and carried a deep sorrow behind them. Llorhan knew the lord was not to be reckoned with. He had heard tales that twenty years ago, when the Lord’s wife was murdered by bandits. The lord hunted them down and killed all eight of them single-handedly. Supposedly, he mutilated their bodies and left them for the wolves. Llorhan had hardly talked to him but the last time was at Teru’s thirteenth party. The lord seemed a nice man but was sort of distant whenever he talked.

The lord hit the side of his glass with a spoon gently, stood up and coughed meaningfully. The entire table settled down and all eyes gazed at the lord. He cleared his thought for the birthday speech. “My fine ladies and gentlemen of Dale,” a cheer erupted from the table. The lord held his hand up to silence them, “my fine ladies and gentlemen we are here to celebrate the thirteenth year of Llorhan son of the strong Lorten and the beautiful Naimes.” Applause was sent up for Llorhan’s parents. The Lord turned to Llorhan. “Here we have a fine member of our society. Llorhan, the next few years could be the greatest of your life. Happy birthday, my lad. Whatever path you take over the next few years, remember this. Life can be a real b*tch sometimes. Sometimes you win, sometimes you’ll get spat out on the dung heap of life. A poor old b*stard like me knows all about life. Bottoms up.” There was very little applause as the people were trying to work out what he meant, the lord downed his drink in one. The people around the table began chatting again as the lord slumped in his chair. Llorhan looked at the troubled lord. His eyes were sunken and huge bags were underneath them. He looked exhausted. Llorhan leaned over to the lord.

“My lord, are you feeling alright.” Hu did not answer, his eyes shut. Llorhan’s gaze transferred to his beautiful daughter, Nea, beside him. Her hazel eyes met his and her beautiful face moved into a smile. He half smiled and turned his head away avoiding looking at her again.

The villagers feasted long into the night enjoying the food and wine, provided generously by the mayor. Llorhan did not drink of course he was to young but something strange was happening. He found himself looking at the Lord’s daughter more often than he should and he looked away whenever she looked in his direction. She was beautiful and Llorhan couldn’t help but notice the curves she was growing. He shook himself as the band fired up into a song. “You guessed it, it’s dancing time.” Said one of the musicians.

The people of Dale partied long into the night dancing and feasting. Three girls had asked Teru to dance but he had only one of them up for more than one dance. The blacksmith daughter, Keare. She was a pretty girl who had liked Teru for a long time, and Teru felt likewise. Llorhan had danced with her as well but only because it was his birthday. Two other girls had asked him to dance but he desperately wanted to dance with Nea. Then she began walking over to him with a smile on her face. She was beautiful he thought. Slender figure, beautiful face, deep hazel eyes and soft looking lips. Her green gown flowed around her and she seemed to float across the grass. Calis stepped into view and the two of them went to the dance area. She looked back and smiled, Llorhan was overwhelmed with disappointment. He sat there for the rest of the evening until the present time. The townspeople as expected had given him a pony. A small white and brown beast, but powerful. He had received a small amount of gold from the Lord, and Buir had given him a small dagger. “I heard you wanted to learn to fight so I made this for you.” It was fantatasically designed and crafted. It was long and slightly curved at the tip. On the blade the word Llorhan was etched. Llorhan accepted it with great thanks and promised to treasure it. He got odds and ends from other people to. The trader had given him an amulet, the baker had given him a cake. When the night was out and Llorhan was lying in bed trying to sleep he was thinking of Nea. “I should have got to her before Calis. Why didn’t I go over and ask her to dance?”

[ April 06, 2005, 11:53: Message edited by: Lawless ]

 

Nice work--your characters are very human and quite likable--the brothers remind me of Caramon and Raistlin. Let's see some more...

 

I'm pretty sure you sent this to me to read before, and it's still good

 

This is Chapter two nowhere near as long or as good but here goes.

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Chapter Two
The sun was rising towards its peak as Lorten looked at his son attempting to mount the pony in the pastures of the town farm. The scene was oddly comical and he tried to stifle the laughter. It was, of course, difficult for his son. It was the week after his son’s birthday and Llorhan could still find no leverage with the wild beast. He chased the beast all around the circular paddock trying to catch him with no success. Lorten could not take anymore of this.

“Stop, son, stop. Come here,” laughed Lorten. “I’ll tell you what to do then you do it and then the horse will obey you.”

“I don’t want it to obey me, I want it to be friends with me,” stated Llorhan.

“Well you still need to do it before it even likes you,” replied Lorten. “Talk to the horse, talk in a low soothing voice.”

“And say what?” asked Llorhan thinking his father had gone slightly mad.

“Whatever you want just tell him you want to be friends and tell him you don’t want to hurt him and that he is safe. Comfort him,” replied his father. “Then walk away from him, isolate him if you will. Then make him run, use this whip.” His father threw him a whip. “Snap it in the air and the horse will get scared, he will run. It will keep running until the danger is over before looking back. That is when you comfort him again. You have to show that you are here to help him. Try to get it to follow you around the paddock then stop after a while. If it works he will show his affection.”

Llorhan did as he his father told him. He cracked the whip and the colt bolted around the paddock. Trying to get away from whatever the danger was. The horse looked around and saw a human walking towards him. The strange eyes unnerved even the horse. The stranger turned his head away and dipped his shoulder. The horse looked on and sniffed. It thought for a moment deciding whether or not to follow the human. “The wrong sort of trust could kill a horse,” he thought. He paused and, against all instinct, followed the strange human.

Llorhan walked around the paddock changing direction every so often. He did this for over an hour and the pony followed his every move, it’s head slightly dipped. Llorhan stopped, the horse moved behind him and nudged his back with its long white nose. Llorhan turned to face the pony. He stroked it’s face and rubbed it’s nose, he spoke in a low soothing voice.

“It has been over a week since we met,” he spoke softly still stroking the beast’s neck. He looked into it’s brown eyes and the horse looked back into those strange eyes. It had a brown patch on it’s back and Llorhan thought for a moment. “I see the brown patch on your back. It’s like the end of winter. A patch of ground appearing through snow.” Llorhan thought about this for a while never removing the odd eyes from the horse’s. “Spring. I shall call you spring. Do you like that name.” The horse neighed in approval and Llorhan laughed. “Spring it is then.” Llorhan stood there for a while stroking his horse and talking to him about his life. The nightmares, the “fight” with Calis, his urge to be as strong if not stronger than Teru. The horse listened intently as and seemed to be genuinely interested. Llorhan had never talked to anyone lie this, he continued talking and stroked his face. Before he knew it he was talking about Nea. She was beautiful and Llorhan regretted not talking to her on her birthday. Spring neighed, Llorhan sighed in agreement.

“You’re right, Spring,” replied Llorhan. “ I should go and talk to her. I will go and talk to her.”

“Llorhan?” said a chilling voice from behind him. Llorhan spun round and saw no one there. “Llorhan?” he spun round again his strange eyes scanning all that was around him. What was going on? The voice seemed to be distant and as if it floated along on the wind yet it chilled Llorhan down to the bone. Even Spring seemed terrified, his ears were pressed against his skull and he was trembling a little. Llorhan leaned in close and spoke soothing words into the horse’s ear. He seemed to relax. “Llorhan?” Llorhan froze this time and tried to listen for footsteps or any sign of anyone else being there. Nothing.

“Right who’s there,” he shouted. “What do you want? Huh? What do you want from me?” His voice trembled but he tried to sound as defiant as the quivering sounds would allow.

“What are you talking about? Who are you talking to?” asked a familiar voice. Teru strode across the paddock. The place seemed to be slightly brighter when Llorhan’s brother arrived. “Well?”

“No one,” replied Llorhan hastily. “Just thought I heard someone saying my name. That’s all.”

“Oh. I thought I heard it too. Yeah, there was this monster, it was this big. Here it comes, look out,” joked Teru. Llorhan did not look amused. “Anyway it’s time to go home. Father’s not well and mother wants us to go and get dinner.”

“What’s wrong with dad?” said Llorhan very worried.

“Don’t worry it’s just the flu.” Teru started walking home as Llorhan led Spring back to the town stable. He laid fresh hay out for him and gave him a brush down. He said goodbye to the horse and began to make his way home.

He was halfway home and the sun was barely visible on the skyline as it finished setting. Llorhan looked up and saw a full moon floating like a white orb. The “gateway” was always busy this time of month. Llorhan smiled but it soon vanished as he heard it again.

“Llorhan?” Llorhan looked around as the cold wind picked up once more. It chilled him right to the bones. He began to run as fast as he could. Pain flashed across his chest and he screamed in agony. His head was spinning and the pain was building up, not just in his chest, but also all over his body. He fell to his knees and felt as if his chest was going to explode. Then the pain stopped and the wind disappeared. His eyes rolled in the back of his head and he passed out.

 

You better post the next chapter soon, or I'll slap you

Fancy leaving us on a cliff hanger like that. Disgraceful

I'm really enjoying this story, Lawless, so roll on the next chapter.

 

Since it's you. Another chapter still not as long or as good.

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Chapter Three
Naimes looked at the town’s surgeon with eyes full of concern. He was a stocky man with a baldhead and a strangely curled moustache. He was a foreigner but was treated like anyone else. His blue eyes looked at Naimes face. She was the definitely as it was claimed to be the most beautiful women in Dale and he wished he could have her right here, right now. But he shook himself and thought about the matter at hand.

“To be honest with you, Naimes,” the doctor spoke clearly and slowly, thinking about each word as he paused. “I don’t know what’s wrong with him. Maybe he just got light-headed and fainted I’m afraid my expertise takes it as far as that. That’s all I can say has happened I really don’t know. If he is still not awake in three hours, come see me. I’ll have another look at him. If his condition worsens beyond this my recommendation would be to take him to Sequel. They have a hospital where he will be cared for.”

“Thanks, Ile. I’ll let you know how he gets on,” Naimes showed the doctor the door and returned to her son’s bedside. He was found six hours ago unconscious just past the pastures. She could feel a tear escape her eye and trickle down her cheek. She held his hand tightly. “Please wake up, my son. I want you to be here with me.” She leaned over and kissed his brow.

Llorhan ran as fast as he could but could feel the beast was getting closer. He turned his head slightly and saw the beast was very close. Still he ran on. He came to the clearing where the tree was, his favourite spot in Tel, and spun round to face his pursuer. The beast leapt at him and he rolled to the side. The beast skidded and turned round. Llorhan rolled out the way but felt a huge, sharp claw graze his shoulder. Blood burst from the wound and pain seared through his arm. Pain? In a dream? This wasn’t real! Was it? Llorhan tried to evade the beast but it pinned him down. He kicked it off him and it rolled off the edge of a small overhang. Llorhan scrambled to the edge and looked at the unending void below him. He heard a roar and felt as if some unknown force pushed him over the edge. He fell for what seemed like an eternity. Ground appeared from nowhere beneath him and he hurtled towards it as if being pushed down at impossible speed. He was he was about to hit it but in a gush of wind which almost ripped the hair from his head it parted and the he landed hard on a brick floor. Where was he now? He stood up and looked around. The beast ambled towards him. He froze as he looked at the creature’s eyes one was green the other was white. He felt tremendous pain sear through his body. Naimes looked down at him as her son’s eyes opened. She looked at the green and white eyes and couldn’t stop tears streaming down her face.

“What’s wrong mum?” asked Llorhan sitting up in bed and seeing her wet cheeks.

“I thought you were going to die,” replied Naimes as she wiped the tears from her face. “We found you unconscious a while ago and you’ve only just woken. I’ll fetch you some herbal tea.” She left the room.

Llorhan looked around him and thought of the nightmare. It terrified him, the beast. It was definitely the wolf-like creature from his last dream. The drool coming from it’s huge mouth and the blood covering its fur. It sent a shiver down Llorhan’s spine. When it cut his shoulder, he could really feel the cut and it was terribly sore. Those eyes. They were his. He was sure of it. One green and one albino white. What the hell was going on? He couldn’t understand what these dreams were about. He thought of before. His name on the wind. Who was calling to him? The vice sounded distant and almost at a whisper. Every time he heard it, it sent a ripple of fear through his skin. His mother came back into the room with a pot of tea. She poured him a cup and he drank greedily. He made to get out of bed but his mother pushed him back. His eyes blazed with an untamed anger.

“I’m fine,” he snapped. His eyes relaxed and he looked at his mother. “Sorry, I’ll rest some more.” Llorhan lay back on his bed and shut his strange eyes. Naimes left him to sleep.

Llorhan awoke early next morning and found his family asleep. He got dressed, grabbed some food and made for the path of Tel. He walked through the forest almost mesmerized by the many songbirds calling out to him. The only other sound was the mixture of colours at his feet rustling as he walked. It was the height of autumn and the leaves had fallen off most of the trees. Llorhan found this beautiful. He made his way to the waterfall and saw someone swimming in the pool. It was Nea and she was naked.

She looked over at Llorhan and instantly made for the shore. She clambered out and covered herself with her tunic. Llorhan turned his head away.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean…” Llorhan stammered. “I was just bringing some food to have a picnic for breakfast.” Nea half smiled and walked towards him, now fully clothed.

“Mind if I join you?” Llorhan was surprised by this and it took I’m a minute to fully take in what she said.

“Yeah, sure,” he nodded quickly, still surprised. They sat for the good deal of an hour eating and talking. This close Llorhan could note all the features of her face. It was almost flawless. She was the most beautiful girl he had seen. Llorhan’s heart was racing and showed no sign of slowing down.

After another hour they walked back to Dale holding hands and she departed when the road forked to Dale and the Lord’s home. Llorhan could barely contain his excitement when she leaned over to kiss him. Their lips touched and warmth began to spread from his mouth throughout his entire body. It was exquisite; her lips were so soft and warm. It was the most joyous feeling that he had ever known. Her hands were around her neck and his were around her waist. He started to tremble slightly but kept his composure as best as he could. She released him and walked towards her house. Llorhan could barely moved and he watched he as she walked. She turned and waved to him and blew a kiss before disappearing over the hill. Felt as if he was walking on air as he made his way home. He could not keep the huge grin off his face as he walked into the living room. His mother was there.

“You want some breakfast, love?” asked Naimes, before noticing the cheek-to-cheek smile. She smiled not even knowing what the cause of her son’s happiness was. “Why are you so happy? Feeling better are we?”

“I’m so happy,” he replied, his heart still beating faster than normal. “I…I think I’m in love mother.” Naimes looked slightly taken aback with this answer.

“Who with?” she asked still in shock.

“Nea, the Lord’s daughter” he said remembering the moment they had embraced in a passionate kiss. “I love her. And when I’m old enough, I will marry her. We spent the morning together and before we parted we kissed.” His mother looked worried. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m really sorry but it’s better you hear it sooner rather than later. I don’t think the lord well let you marry his daughter,” she replied with a tone of sorrow. She held up her hand to silence him. “I’m really sorry son, but the only way he will let you marry him is if you are one of the rich families or you do something of greatness to catch his attention.” Llorhan’s heart sunk to the floor and he could not stop the tears erupting from his cheeks. His mother tried to console him with a hug but he pushed her away, turning he ran from the house. He did not stop and ran back to the forest of Tel. He did not stop until he came to the tree. He climbed it and sat on one of the high branches. The tears had not stopped flowing. He sat there for the rest of the day thinking about what his mother had said.

What could he do? He knew what his mother said had been true but he did not want to believe it. He loved Nea; of this there was no doubt. Would the lord really stop this if he did not do something. He wiped the tears from his eyes and looked over the Dale. The sun was low in the sky but not quite setting. What could he do? He thought of the kiss and how he had enjoyed. His mind wandered back through time to his thirteenth birthday party.

Nea was wandering over to him and Calis had stopped her and asked her to dance. You could not refuse if someone asked you. It was good manners and looked well upon by the Dale. Calis and his eyes met. The sneer on Calis’s face said it all. He would not let Calis take her away from him. He had to find a way to do it. He heard someone approach. Teru stepped from the trees and looked up.

“Guess what I’ve been entered into the Archery Competition,” exclaimed Teru. Llorhan nodded meekly. “Maybe you can enter next year when you’re fourteen. I was too late to join last year.” Every year in the Dale the lord held an archery competition and this was the first year Teru had been entered. Then it hit Llorhan like a charging horse. The Dale Competitions!

 

Keep up the good work. This is interesting.

 

Thank you Nakia. Heres the next Chapter. I have already written twelve chapters so I will put them quite frequently while writing the thirteenth.

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Chapter Four
Hu sat in his study examining the piece of paper on his desk. It was news from his counterpart in Sequel, Lord Corl:

Dear The Most Excellent Lord Hu of the Village Dale,
My dear friend, Bandits have appeared. Word has reached my ear that the last cart to make it’s way from Dale to Sequel through the pathway of Tel has come under attack from a group of masked robbers. The cart was late so a search party was organized. This party came across the caravan to find the carts ram shacked and the drivers dead. The horses were also killed and all items but a few gone. We would be grateful if you could help us deal with the matter and hand. We are dispatching a warrior party to search for these thieves and murderers and would be appreciative if you would take a similar course of action. I am sure you will do what is best for you and your people. May the gods bless you and may your decision be made swiftly and I hope it is the right one, my friend.

“My dear FRIEND!” Hu said aloud. “Cheeky git!” The last time the two of them spoke was when Corl accused Hu of stealing money. Corl had sent a caravan to Hu and Hu sent money back to him. The caravan with the money never made it Sequel and Corl accused him of not paying. Him! That ass takes god knows how many bribes and he accuses Lord Hu of the Dale of these things. B*stard! Hu, himself sent a search party out led by Lorten and they found the caravan attacked and the bandits still trying to remove some of the booty. Lorten and his men returned unscathed with the money. Hu sent the money again and this time it made it through and Hu knew this. Corl refused to apologise and they had not spoken since.

As much as Hu would like to say no but he could not deny that bandits posed a problem to the both of them. Winter was fast approaching and the people of Dale would need all the food they could get from there twin town. The harvest this year had not produced the usual yield and it was near impossible to get a caravan through the snow that plagues Dale and the forest of Tel every year. Last year it was over a foot deep and no caravan could get through to Sequel. Also the Dale competitions were coming up. People from Sequel and some from across the water would want to travel through Tel unhindered. Hu sighed. He would have to organise a hunting party. He walked out onto the balcony and looked at the courtyard below. The flowers, which adorned the courtyard were exquisite and the giant stone fountain was magnificent. He contracted a foreign sculpture to create the splendid centrepiece. Sure it cost a fair sum of gold, Hu suspected he was overcharged, but it was worth it. He looked down at his daughter, Nea, who was sitting on the edge of the round fountain, running her hand through the water. The lord could not help but be overwhelmed with a great sorrow.

She was so like her mother. Tall and slender. Long, flowing, rippling red hair and those deep hazel eyes. Many people said she must have taken after her mother, as they could not see much of Hu in her. In fact there was not any of Hu in her at all. Hu’s wife, who was murdered twenty years ago, had had a fling with Corl. The lord of Sequel. Hu could not believe it when he turned his back on her even when he discovered he had a daughter, Nea. Whenever he and Corl’s eyes met, Corl would smirk knowingly. Hu loved his wife of course, but to see someone turned their back on the mother of their child disgusted him. Hu took her back because he loved her. He loved her until the day she died and still loved her up until this day. He treated Nea like she was his. She did not know the truth of course that would shatter her into thousands of pieces. Not one person in Dale knew the truth except their Lord, Hu. And Corl of course but he was in Sequel and wanted nothing to do with Nea. For this Hu was thankful. Word had reached Hu that she was already turning a few a heads in Dale and indeed Sequel. Hu smiled. A man would have to prove himself to take his beloved Nea away from him. Anyway they would have to wait a few years, she was only thirteen. She could not marry until sixteen. She looked up at him and smiled, Hu smiled back and nodded before returning to his study to organise a letter for his hunting party. Thinking about Corl had made him angry and he would claim the glory of contracting the warrior’s who got rid of the bandits. He would wipe the smirk of that bastard’s face yet. He began to write.
*****
Lorten stood opposite his opponent, wooden stick in hand. Llorhan firmed his grip on the “sword.”

“Right, attack,” commanded Lorten. Llorhan lunged his stick at his father’s mid-section wildly. Lorten sidestepped and rested his stick on Llorhan’s throat. “Try not to be so wild. Never attack out of hysterical anger for you will be blinded by your rage unless you control. Again.” Llorhan kept trying but always found his father’s stick placed where it could be fatal had it been a sharp sword. “Don’t stare at the sword just be aware of it. Look into your opponent’s eyes and try to anticipate his attacks.” Llorhan stood still, stick extended in front of him. He sliced at his father’s throat but Lorten ducked and aimed a riposte at Llorhan’s chest. His son leapt back and the two fighter’s began circling. Lorten leapt and thrust towards Llorhan’s throat, who sidestepped and parried. Lorten spun round and cut down. Llorhan rolled and found a shorter stick of Lorten’s against his neck. Llorhan laughed. “Expect the unexpected in a fight. A hidden dagger may be your downfall. Again.”

Llorhan readied himself again this time with his stick by his side. Lorten leapt and Llorhan parried and stepped back not following up the attack. Lorten thrust at his son’s midsection but Llorhan sidestepped and stepped back again. Lorten thrust again but at the last moment spun his stick around in his hand and aimed for a slash across Llorhan’s throat. Llorhan parried this and was too late to see the small stick again rest against his side. Llorhan cursed softly. “That’s enough of swordplay, you’ve learnt well, keep practicing. Remember about the hidden dagger. I’ve been stabbed that way before and lost a friend to it. Anyway back to basics.” Lorten said tossing his stick aside. The two of them fought switching between unarmed and armed combat for most of the day. No matter how hard he tried Llorhan never found a gap in his father’s defence. His movements were so liquid, fast and flowing without effort. Controlled and deadly. Llorhan shivered at the thought of facing a man with Lorten’s ability in a full-on duel. Yet there would always be one more deadly than his father. Regardless of your ability here always will be.

It was dark when they began to go home and the clouds were hanging overheard, threateningly. Ready to open up and cover all that was beneath them. They left the sticks outside and Lorten looked at the strange horse outside. Inside, waiting for them was Straw the Lord’s messenger.

“Ah,” he stood up to welcome them into their own house. He grasped Lorten’s hand firmly and shook Llorhan’s just as warmly. He sat down again and Lorten sat beside him. Llorhan remained standing. “It’s been a long time since we’ve seen each other, but we can catch up later. I bring a message from the Lord needing your immediate attention. Bandits have attacked a caravan in Tel and we need a hunting party. Lord Hu wants you to lead it.” He handed the letter to Llorhan’s father, who began reading it. Llorhan looked at the messenger. He was old, more than fifty, Llorhan didn’t doubt. He had short, cropped hair and his face was completely shaven. Wrinkles hung over his eyes while deep black bags hang below them. Llorhan had met this man before and liked him. He was just an old, happy man. Llorhan looked at his father, who put the letter down and sighed.

“I’ll need a party of five, I’ll choose them,” said Lorten. “Buir, Kerlis, Guar, Carn and you.” Straw looked into the eyes of the warrior.

“Me? Why me?” asked Straw in shock his eyes wide. “I’m fifty-seven and haven’t held an axe in years.” Lorten silenced him by lifting up his hand.

“There is not one man I would rather have at my side,” replied Lorten. “Say you’ll do it Straw.” Straw nodded, stood up, bowed his head and disappeared into the night. Lorten leaned back in his chair, arms behind his head, and sighed again.

Llorhan went through to his bedroom and lay in his bed. His mind thought of the dale competitions. They were held every year in three different disciplines over three days. Archery, duelling and running. He would try to enter all three and win them if he could. It had been many year’s since a single person won two disciplines. In fact the last person was Lord Hu himself. Winning two would be enough surely to grab the Lord’s attention so that he was worthy of Nea. She entered his thoughts and her face filled his mind. She was so beautiful. He dropped off to sleep.

He stood in the forest facing the beast again, red and orange leaves falling around them from the trees above. Though there was something odd about this dream, something familiar. He looked around and down at his clothes. It was exactly the same as earlier when Llorhan was training with his father. The beast stood opposite him like his father did with a stick in it’s huge paw and standing on it’s hind legs. Llorhan had never seen the full size of the beast. It was over seven foot tall and immensely built. He could not stop himself fighting it. It was re-enacted exactly like it happened. They both circled each other and fought precisely the same as Llorhan and Lorten had fought. His sword locked with the beast’s and Llorhan could smell the foul breath erupting from the cavern like, foaming mouth and he looked at the eyes of the beast’s and was shocked to see familiar eyes. But they were not his as they had been in the other dreams. They were his father’s.

 

I come back to see two chapters to read, good stuff

 

Good read. I hope you're planning on getting this published someday...

 

OOC = I'm feeling generous here is another Chapter probably the last one until after the weekend. Is not good enough to get published, is it?? (I wish)
Another shorter Chapter but the longest are still to come and IMO some of the best.
Anyhoo, enjoy.(I hope)

***********************************
Chapter Five
Lorten walked at the front of the party hand on sword hilt. His eyes watched for signs of any movement. They had been walking for the best part of a day and had come across the remains of two caravans. Even now he could see the third ahead of him. His keen eyes looked over the ground at the tracks. The cart had tried to sprint off to safety but four bandits had leapt from the trees and a fifth killed the driver. The arrow still jutting from his throat. The co-driver and the two guards were mercilessly killed; each had many vicious cuts on them. Add this to the total from the other two made around eleven bandits. Buir moved along side Lorten. He used a few hand gestures and pointed to a light in the distance of the trees. A campfire, perhaps. He signalled to the other’s who were going through the remains of the cart and the group made their way silently towards the campfire. All of them carefully stepping over twigs and under branches to avoid making any sound. Lorten knelt behind a bush and glanced through the foliage at the bandits. Twelve. He had slightly miscalculated but no matter. He ordered all of the men to take position around the encampment to wait for his order. Lorten sat there for a few minutes. The bandits no wore armour except for two of them. These two were obviously the leaders as they sat at a small distance from the others. The other bandits were playing cards and dice. Lorten lifted his small crossbow aiming for one of the burly bandits in armour. A twig snapped to his left and Lorten dropped to his stomach pointing the crossbow in the direction of the noise he glanced back at the bandits. They had all stood up scrambling for their weapons.

One bandit leader jerked his head in the direction of Lorten and a bandit made his way slowly, sword in hand, to Lorten’s position. A crossbow bolt thudded into his chest and he fell back clutching it. At that instant four more fell as the other’s attacked. The bandits were in shock and starting fanning out. One moved towards Lorten again and this time he drew his sword and a dagger. He stood up as quick as lightning and rammed the dagger in the man’s eye. The other’s followed suit. Lorten was faced with an armoured opponent. He readied his sword as the bandit attacked. Lorten sidestepped, sending a thrust to the man’s neck, but an armoured gauntlet brushed the attack aside. Lorten leapt back, his sword by his side. Without warning and with infinite speed Lorten rushed forward and past the bandit ducking a vicious slash. The bandit looked in disbelief at the trickle of blood on Lorten’s blade. He collapsed to the ground blood pouring from a fatal wound in his belly. He spun round as Straw groaned in agony. He saw the bandit standing over him as the Lord’s messenger slumped to the ground a wound in his chest. The second armoured bandit turned to face Lorten a sneer on his gormless face. Lorten was filled with fury and fighting his anger. He started breathing hard and let out a furious, animal-like roar. Lorten charged and rolled beneath a vicious slash. He stood and aimed a blow at his opponent’s neck, which the bandit easily blocked with his sword. The hidden dagger plunged into the bandit’s belly and he fell to his knees clutching his stomach. The bandit looked into the man’s eye’s there was something strange their. Some unknown power and rage. He begged for forgiveness as the enraged man raised his sword for the final strike. Lorten would hear none of it and with a single effortless cut, decapitated the bandit, sending his head falling to the ground in a puddle of blood. Buir finished off the last one as Lorten fell to his knees beside the dying Straw. He was clutching at the wound.

“Easy there, try not to speak,” Lorten examined his body, he would die very soon. The wound was too deep for Straw to recover from or to reach the nearest surgeon and he was breathing hard and fast.

“Is there any chance for me?” asked Straw, already knowing of his impending death.

“Of course, my friend,” lied Lorten, Straw smiled. “You have every chance to survive.”

“I’ve known you all your life and I know when you’re lying,” Straw’s breath’s were getting quicker by the second. Lorten grasped his hand tightly. “Do you think they’ll be able to see my candle from the Dale way up there….” Straw’s free hand pointed to the sky and Lorten cold see he tears glistening on his smiling face.

“Hold on, hold on,” pleaded Lorten. But it was too late Straw’s hand felt lifeless as he slipped into the path of the dead. “I will look for your candle lit in the sky, dear Straw.” He let go of Straw’s hand. Lorten’s head buried itself into his hands and he wept for his lost friend. Buir placed his hand on Lorten’s shoulder, Lorten’s hand grasped Buir’s. They remainder of the party sat in silence mourning their tragic loss before they made their way back slowly to Dale carrying the body of Straw on a stretcher.

Edythe sat on the chair. She hated nights like these when her husband went off gallivanting on his adventures. She always dreaded Lorten appearing at his door telling her, her husband had died. Lorten, she hated the bastard for dragging her beloved husband away. Their was a knock at her door and her heart leapt, Straw was home. She opened the door and saw Lorten standing in the rain. She gasped.

Lorten knew he did not have to say anything but he gestured behind him and with a huge arm consoled Edythe in a hug. He lead her inside as her hands covered her face as she wept. The rest of the party followed bearing the body of Straw on a stretcher, his body covered with a white tarpaulin. They laid him on the floor and sat down next to him. Edythe was still enveloped by Lorten’s huge arms. Nobody said anything, nobody needed to say anything. The silence was enough for everyone there.

The funeral for Straw had lasted all morning. Everyone in the town had stopped what they were doing to pay their respects to the man. Lord Hu, himself had been at the service all morning for all though he did not say anything about it, he loved Straw like the brother he wished could’ve been his. Not like that Corl bastard. He was not worthy to be his brother. Everyone including Llorhan had wept for the village’s loss. Edythe was the worst hit, she was almost sixty and she and Straw had been married for forty years, the longest marriage in the Dale. Lorten had not said anything for the past twenty-four hours until he was to speak at the funeral. Lorten had been appointed torchbearer of the funeral and he would be the first to light the pyre which Straw’s body now rested on. He made his way to the head of the pyre where Straw’s face was covered with a shawl made by Edythe. Lorten cleared his throat of the tears and looked at the body of Straw.

“People of Dale. Pardon me,” he cleared his throat again trying to hold back the tears as he spoke. “People of Dale. Yesterday, as the Dale hunting party rid the forest of Tel of bandits, we were dealt a massive tragic blow. During the vicious fighting a bandit leader cut down Straw. I, myself, tried to avenge Straw by killing the murdering b*stard. It did not make it any better he would not come back. Here today I look around and I see everyone in the Dale. Each of our hearts goes out to his wife Edythe and the spirit of Straw as he makes his way to the next world. I have known Straw all my life.” Lorten could not hold back the tears now and allowed them to stream down his face. “I have fought alongside Straw during the War and fighting many bandits. I am sure that all of us will keep both eyes out for his candle in the sky tonight. The torch please.” Buir handed him a flaming torch and he approached the pyre. “We, now send your spirit and body up to the gods.” He lit the pyre as he moved around it and took a step back once finished. Saying a quick prayer he bowed his head and cried. Most of the people stayed there all day before going home at nightfall. Edythe could not handle and was taken home by Buir. Lorten stood in the exact same spot, his head bowed. It started to rain after Straw’s body was turned to ashes. He lifted his tear filled face as the rain washed away the ashes. “Goodbye, my friend.” He placed one hand over his heart before lifting it up to the sky. “I see your candle and I will never forget you, my dear friend.” He wept.

[ June 25, 2005, 16:58: Message edited by: Lawless ]

 

Another good chapter to the tale, Lawless

 

I'm not the first to say it, but I will anyway:

Mmmm...must have more...

 

Sorry to have to abuse the board a bit here but this is the only way I can get Lawless to notice. Lawless - go check your PM box - I really need a swift answer. Ya wegie

 

Here Ya go....
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Chapter Six
Corlek looked out of the wagon window at the trees. Snow was falling and making the ride long and hard. Winter had come early to Dale he thought. The leafless trees were laced with snow and the ground was like a white ocean, beautiful but deadly. Lek always enjoyed watching the Dale competitions, but this was the first year he was competing. He had heard of a young man called Teru. He was supposedly the favourite among the Dale people but he had not competed against the best of Sequel. Lek smiled at his vanity but it did not bother him that much. He would do his father proud and remove any smile from Hu’s face. Lek hated his uncle because of what his father, Lord Corl had told him. He was a thieving b*stard, once he tried to convince Corl that he had sent him money but hadn’t. There was no love between Corl and Hu not even a family’s love. They despised each other. He had never met his Uncle. He looked across at his father who sat opposite him, his green eyes watching the scenery through the other window. He was tall but not gigantic like some other men Corlek had met. His hair was almost all gone save for a few straggling grey hairs, which adorned the side of his head. His face was unshaven but it seemed to add certain character to his sharp features. Corlek’s green eyes lingered back out to the beautiful forest of Tel. He had been in here a few times but that was when he was very young and he could barely remember what he did when he was in here, some foolish antics no doubt.

Lord Corl thought of Hu. He had not seen his brother for about almost two years and he had always wanted to bury the hatchet with the Lord of the Dale for many years but whenever they spoke Corl’s pride got in the way. It forced him to sneer at his brother and almost ignore him unless it was absolutely necessary for them to exchange words between each other. He hoped his son would win to get the better of his brother after the bandit incident. He was most upset when Lorten’s party had reached and killed the bandits first. However, the news of Straw’s death had wounded him more. Corl like many men and women from Sequel and Dale had liked the man. He was somebody everyone got on with, a friend to everyone he had ever and never met in his life. Corl smiled in remembrance of Straw.

He looked across at his son and thought how much he would like him to carry on the reign of Sequel in swordplay. It was called swordplay but it would better suited to the title of stick-fight. Each competitor was given a stick resembling a sword and the first to contact the torso won. Arm and leg hits did not count. Head hits resulting in immediate disqualification from the tournament. For the past ten years the swordplay winner’s trophy had been held by a person from Sequel and the other two disciplines had switched every year for the past twenty years. He had won all three disciplines himself many years back before being beaten by his brother in all three areas the following year; it had not bothered him much. He was sure that Corlek could do it. Although he was not sure what to make of this young Teru he had heard about, but if he was half as good as everyone said so Corlek would have quite a fight on his hands. Also him being the son of the formidable Lorten was an added bonus.
*****
Teru struggled to pull himself over the branch but kept going. “Ninety-two, ninety-three,” he thought between each pull up. He was over six feet above the ground suspended from a thick branch of an oak tree. Llorhan stood a little to his left with those strange eyes watching him. Teru grunted as he reached a hundred before dropping to the ground and landing hard on his feet. Llorhan rushed to him with a canteen full of water. Teru drank greedily and did not offer a drink to his brother, he sighed afterwards.

“Try not to push yourself so hard Te, you’ll win this competition no bother. Even with two hands tied behind your back to your legs, a blindfold over your eyes and a randy ferret down your pants,” joked Llorhan. Teru laughed, a long deep laugh before sighing and talking his last gulp of water.

“Come on little brother, let us run some more.” Laughed Teru and the two of them ran over the hills back to the river in Dale before bathing in it for the rest of the afternoon.
*****
Lorten sat in his chair staring at the embers of the fire he had lit twelve hours ago. He was hungry but did not go for food. He was thirsty but did not go for water. He was tired but did not smile. He just sat on the chair thinking of Straw. It had been over four days since Straw had been murdered and Lorten could not bring himself to get over the death and get on with his life. He had not spoken to Naimes or either of his two sons since the funeral but he knew he had to soon. He could hear Naimes in the kitchen and as she opened the door Lorten’s eyes moved form the fire to the shapely figure of his wife. He rose from his seat and walked over to her and embraced her in a passionate kiss. He had missed the warmth and the softness of her full lips. He was about to open his mouth to apologise to her but she held a finger to his mouth and he smiled for the first time since the bandits. She tilted her head back slightly and kissed him again. Llorhan and Teru burst through the door and Lorten beamed at them.

“Hu has called a meeting for everyone in Dale and the competitors of the competitions,” said Naimes and without a word the family went off to the town hall on the hill near the Lord’s home. The made there way inside and discovered almost everyone was there. They sat down on a few of the remaining empty seats and Hu stood at the podium waiting for people to speak. Nea was sat on his left beside an empty chair and Corl and his son were sat to his left.

He cleared his throat loudly and all talk in the hall stopped and all eyes were placed on the man in white. “Ladies and gentlemen,” he started. “I have called this meeting to discuss the matter of the Dale competitions. As you know they ware to start in four days time and I would wish you all the very best of luck.” He could hear applause starting and he held up both hands to quiet the crowd. “However, you have all heard of the death of Straw, my messenger and personal friend to me and us all. In light of these recent events the Dale competitions will be cancelled.” He could hear some commotion and again held up his hands. “I have made this difficult decision out of respect for the two time champion of swordplay Straw and after a long discussion with Lord Corl of Sequel, our twin. I am aware that most of you are disappointed but I’m sure you will keep it to your self. All of this year’s entrants will receive automatic entry to next year’s tournament, even if you will be to old for it by then. I apologise to everyone here and hope you will all come back for next year’s trials. Thank you. You will receive all provisions you need to get home as a consolation to the out of town people travelling so far to get here especially to compete. I apologise once more and bid you a safe journey home.” With that he walked out of the building with Nea and went all the way home.

The crowd stood there shocked and surprised at the cancellation. Lorten smiled he had wished this would happen. He found himself unable to concentrate on helping Teru train and thanked Hu for the extra year. He could here a foreigner from across the water shouting to dismay out. Lorten walked slowly towards him, passing through the crowds unseen.

“I cant believe it. My son and I travelled for six days straight to come here for him to compete, and just because some b*stard, who can’t defend himself properly, gets himself killed, Hu has to cancel the event.” The foreigner felt a hand grab his shoulder as he was turned around into the fist of Lorten. The bone cracked and some people winced, blood streamed from his nose. He screamed in agony and looked in disbelief at the man.

“Have some respect you b*stard whoreson,” bellowed Lorten. His voice echoed around the hall and every person in the room could feel the fury of Lorten. Most were surprised for Lorten hardly ever cursed and for some this was the first time the had heard him do it. “That b*stard as you so put it, was my best friend. Bad mouth him once more and you will walk home my boot lodged so far into your groin we’ll need a charging elephant with a rope attached to it just to get it out.. Get out of this village until you learn some manners you son of a b*tch.” Lorten stormed form the room and his family followed him soon after.

“Where I’m from, speaking your thoughts is considered a virtue,” stated the foreigner before being knocked from his feet as Buir’s fist sent him spinning from his feet. Buir spat at the ground and turned from the man, before walking home as fuming as Lorten.
*******
Llorhan could feel his heart beating fast and he could feel the blood pumping through his veins. His head was slightly spinning and he knew it was close. Llorhan stole a look over the small bush he was lying behind and there it was, the beast. He examined it closely. They grey fur and wolf like snout. The huge talon-like claws extending from the bear like paws. It was standing on it’s hind legs and towered to over seven and a half feet. It’s strange eyes, one white, one green sat on either side of it’s muzzle which contained razor sharp teeth. The beast’s nostrils flared as it searched for Llorhan. Then with impossible speed it spun round to face where Llorhan was hiding and it landed on all fours snarling at the bush he was crouched behind. Then something happened which Llorhan could scarcely believe. The beast reared up on his hind legs and roared in agony. The fur began to fall of and formed a carpet around it’s feet. It began to reduce in height and it’s powerful frame cracked as it reduced to that of a thirteen-year-old boy. Llorhan looked at the boy and could not believe that it was himself who stood on top of the fur pile. The beast now in human form rolled it’s head and cracked it’s neck with a grunt. It’s eyes opened and Llorhan found himself staring into is own eyes once more. He gasped and covered his mouth and without meaning to do so, walked into the small snow covered clearing and stood in front of himself. He opened his mouth to speak but could not force any words out. The were-Llorhan laughed and Llorhan could sense a hidden animal in the coldness and viciousness of the laughter. It spoke; the voice was exactly the same as his, except it seemed angrier.

“I know what you are thinking. What are you? A monster? Perhaps. The simple answer is I’m a part of you yet to be revealed.” Llorhan stood shocked and could not understand what he meant. “I’m a part of you, that you can never get rid of. I have always been trying to get out but you won’t let me but when I do come out, you will have to embrace what comes with me. You already know what it is, don’t you. I have hunted you in your dreams trying to get out. I almost got out, once. Remember. The full moon after you had tamed Spring.” Llorhan was about to speak again but his counterpart stopped him before he could say anything. “You can’t fight me forever. I will come out. You want help, ask your father. You saw what he did earlier today. You feel but do not share his controlled fury. Ask him.” With that the beast turned and ran towards the trees. In mid-run it’s skin began to disintegrate and it began to grow in size. The beast switched to all fours as it took the monstrous form again. It leapt into the darkness of the trees where Llorhan could see no further than the branches. He heard a blood-curdling roar in the distance which sent a shiver down his spine and send all manner of birds flying off their perches in the trees. He felt pain in his chest once more, as if huge claws ripped his flesh open and he collapsed forward onto the ground.

Llorhan awoke in a cold sweat and looked out the window, it was light outside and a cold draught was coming from underneath the door. He stood up and got dressed. What did the beast mean? Ask your father? It did not make in sense. Why would his father know? Unless. There was no way that it could not be true. Could his father really be a beast as well?

 

Just gotta say, nice work! Kept me hooked from the word go and I have a very short attention span...

Any more to come?

 

Cheers bud, here ya go. This is one of my favourite chapters so far.
Plus it is longer than some of the others.
I throw it at your mercy.
**************************

Chapter Seven
The wind was biting cold and seemed to kick snow at her as she walked, like some kind of small mischievous child. Naimes tightened the blue shawl around her neck and face. She could barely see in front of her but she knew where she was going. The surgeon’s was just across the river near the farm. She staggered as her foot caught one of the many hidden stones under that beautiful, glistening white crust. Her shoes barely left a mark in the snow as her footprints were covered up straight away by the rapidly falling flakes. Her nose was blue with cold and she could feel her hands going in the same direction as well. The gloves were thick but this weather penetrated them like a sword through warm butter. She could just make out the small wooden footbridge which leapt over the river to the snow-covered bank at the other side. The wind was getting more ferocious and she was almost kicked from her feet. On any other day she would have turned back. In fact she was considering turning back now and returning tomorrow but this was not a normal day. This was an emergency and she was scared of what she had discovered. She clutched the lump in her breast and prayed to the gods it was not what she feared. She managed to cross the bridge and began to walk in the rough direction of the surgeon’s house.

She could hear the howling and screams of wind begin to recede and she loosened the shawl slightly. She could make out the faint outline of Ile’s house ahead and the shadows of the farmhouses were on her left. She almost tripped again and could hear the doctor’s dog barking madly from inside the house. She knocked on the wooden, green door and waited for an answer, shivering.

“Just a minute,” said Ile’s voice from inside. “Come on boy, get back.” Naimes half smiled thinking of the lovable oaf of a dog which Ile had. The door opened after a lock was undone and he bade her inside. She followed him towards the seat beside the roasting fire. She pulled off her blue woollen gloves and warmed her blue hands in front of the fire. She could see the colour returning quickly. Pa rested his head on her lap. His shaggy hair drooping over her legs and she rubbed him behind his ears realising she could feel once more. Ile returned with a two cups of tea and placed them on a small table between the chairs in front of the fireplace. “Now, something tells me this is not a social call. How may I help you Naimes? Is about Llorhan?” He could see the worry and concern in her beautiful face.

“No, Llorhan’s fine, as far as I know anyway,” she attempted a laugh but it was a feeble attempt. Then as soon as it had disappeared into the laugh the worry returned. “I found a lump in my breast. A large lump.” Ile looked as worried as the beautiful woman opposite him. “I’m worried that it could be cancer.”

“Hmm. Let me have a look at it and we’ll find out what it is.” Naimes stood up and removed her grey woollen tunic. Ile could definitely see the large lump on her left breast. He put his glasses open and leaned closely. He felt it with his hands and left the room for a second. He returned with a large, thick book and turned to a page almost instantly. He paused and went back to Naimes breast. “How long have you known about this?”

“Only found it today.” She replied. He paused and glanced at the book.

“Have there been anything else wrong with you? Bleeding anywhere, sickness.” She shook her head. Ile sighed. It was sad sigh and he looked at Naimes with tears almost in his eyes. “I would say it is cancer.” Naimes gasped and tears began to stream from her face. “Now, don’t cry if you only discovered it today then there may still be hope.” She lifted her head and looked at him with a glimmer in her deep eyes. “I want you to go see the woman in Sequel called Sorna, she has cured early signs of cancer before and I trust fully in her abilities.”

“Is she a surgeon like you?” asked Naimes wiping back the tears on her face.

“A surgeon? No. She is a witch. Just tell her I sent you. She will help you better than I can.” Naimes pulled her tunic back on and kissed the man on both cheeks. Thanking him she left to go back home. The wind and snow had almost all but died down and there was a newfound hope in Naimes heart. She would go and see this witch in Sequel.

As Lorten rode beside Naimes he looked at her beautiful face and could sense her hope. Lorten was not much of a praying man. He was a believer in the gods of the earth but he hardly ever prayed to them. Although now was a time for prayer. “Please keep my Naimes safe, protect her from the evil in her body.” He did not wait for an answer but chose to grasp Naimes hand as he rode. He kissed her cheek and she smiled at him. Llorhan rode carefully behind them on Spring. Trying to avoid the hidden dangers underneath the snow. Teru had chosen to remain in Dale. Llorhan looked at his father and thought about the dream. He had to talk to him about it but could never bring it into a conversation. Did mother know? He thought. What about Te? Could he have kept the secret from his own wife? She must know. As much as he wanted to talk to his father about it, he was afraid to say anything about it.

The wind began to grow in strength and Llorhan pulled his grey cloak closer to him and buried his hands underneath. It was coming from behind as if something was forcing them to go faster. “Llorhan.” He froze and slowly turned in his shadow. He was not sure if he heard it. “Llorhan, you can’t conceal me forever.” He had definitely heard it that time and his white and green eyes moved slowly around scanning the trees. He saw it. The beast was in the trees is huge grey form visible against the snow. Spring began to whine as the snow began to get stronger and Llorhan lent over, speaking in his ear. He looked back at the beast. It was gone. Had he really seen it? He was not sure but there was one thing he was sure of. He would ask his father when they arrived in Sequel.

They rode for two days without stopping except for sleep. Only then did they stop for five or six hours at the most. On the fifth day the reached the end of Tel and found themselves looking on the port of Sequel. Llorhan sat open mouthed in his saddle. He had never seen anything like it. All the buildings, and there were more than three times than that of Dale, were packed close together. They were all different shapes and sizes. It was like as sea of brown of the wooden buildings and they were gathered around a central stone building. Much larger than the home of Lord Hu. The three riders approached the gate in the wooden wall which almost surrounded the town. There was a gap where the dock was. The gate was open but Llorhan could see two armoured guards in watchtowers on either side of it. Lorten dismounted and gave the reigns to Naimes. Llorhan drew up beside Naimes. She smiled at him. Llorhan had found it almost impossible to comprehend that his mother could possible have cancer and die. She was his mother and he had believed that both of his parents would live forever.

“Greetings, travellers,” said the guard from somewhere under his helmet. “Ye from the Dale are you? How can I be of service?”

“Do you know where I can find a woman named Sorna?” The guard thought for a second before answering.

“I’m not entirely sure where she lives, but go to the Hunting Horn. I have heard the name said a few times in there. Ask there they’ll help you find her.” The guard gave directions to Lorten, bowed and walked away. The three of the family followed the directions and found themselves in front of a large building. Hanging above the door was a large horn and underneath it a polished sign. ‘Welcome To The Hunting Horn.’ They opened the door and the first thing they were greeted by was the intoxicating smell of alcohol and cooked meat. The blast of hot air from the fire met their chilled faces. Llorhan looked around, he had never seen anything like it. There were around twelve small round wooden tables all with three or four chairs of the same wood encircling them. Naimes and her son stood near the fire warming their frozen bodies while Lorten approached the barman. The barman was cleaning a glass noticing the pouch of gold hanging from the tall man’s belt. His eyes lit up with greed. He was a man of similar height to Lorten but with a slightly thinner build. His moustache drooped over his mouth and met with an unkempt beard, which hung to his chest. His eyes were of the most disturbing green. Unnaturally green. When his fat lipped mouth opened deep rolling words came out.

“Greetings, welcome to the Hunting Horn, what do you want?” said the barman. “I’m Leith at yer service owner and proprietor of the Hunting Horn.” Lorten leaned on the bar with both his hands in front of him.

“I am looking for a woman by the name of Sorna. My wife was referred to her for healing by a man named Ile of Dale. Do you know this woman?” The barman shifted slightly and thought for a minute.

“Sorna? Sorna?” The barman could see the anxious look on their faces. He hoped they would buy something after he divulged the information to them. “Yes, Sorna the witch. Aye, I remember her. She lives straight down the street down the street, second left, third right and her’s is the only stone one in the field of wooden house. Be careful though ye get some nasty customers in that area. Shouldn’t complain really, they keep me bar afloat. Anything else, good sir.” Asked Leith with a wide smile, still eyeing up the pouch but Lorten shook his head and pulled his cloak around him covering his money, much to disappointment of Leith. He should really ask them to buy something in exchange for directions. Oh well, he would, hopefully, remember that for next time.

The family left the bar and followed the streets in the direction of Sorna’s home. Llorhan looked around as they walked. The town’s interior was a complete contrast to the pretty exterior the saw from the outskirts. It was a lot different from how Llorhan thought it would be like. The streets were covered in dirt and beggars littered the streets, hands extended, mouths shut. It was if that they expected nothing so did not bother to ask. He could feel their eyes follow and bore into him as he walked by. He could see them even after he passed them. Their ragged clothes covering their almost skeletal like form. They were thin but thinner than Llorhan could have possibly imagined. There were children to, younger than him, their stomachs bloated with malnutrition. The looked on and he could see the glimmer of hope of the chance of food in their eyes. He tried not to look but he couldn’t help it. After a while they reached a stone house and Lorten rapped on the door, loudly. The door opened a young woman of no more than twenty stood there. Her body covered in an ankle length grey tunic. It was surprising but through her blonde hair, Llorhan could see streaks of grey. Lorten was about to speak but she gestured them inside. She shut the door and they followed her to a room with three sofas and a large table in the middle. She walked out of the room and returned with four cups and a pot of tea. She poured the cups and everyone drank greedily, before Lorten cleared his throat meaningfully. She placed her cup down with her young, slender hands and placed them on her knees.

“So, Naimes, you have cancer,” the family sat their dumbstruck. How could this woman know that? None of the family had every encountered her or anyone like her before. “I can read your thoughts, your minds.” Llorhan shifted uneasily in his chair and her brown eyes bored right down to his soul. He could feel her penetrating his very thoughts and his dreams. He suddenly found himself becoming fascinated by the porcelain ornament on the sideboard behind her. It was a dusty blue vase and held wilting flowers in it. He found himself thinking of the walk down the street. Was everything in this godforsaken town cursed with a slow death? The beggars in the streets. The flowers. It seemed that everything was being starved to death in this misdirecting town. The sharp mystical voice of the witch brought him back to reality and away from his thoughts. He was thankful she was now looking at his mother and father. “I will not go too far into your personal things. You shall stay here for the night and I will tend to you, Naimes. I have already prepared rooms for Lorten and Llorhan. In the morning we will see if it has worked which it should then you will leave. I must warn you if I cannot get rid of it by tonight you will stay here, free of charge of course. If it as not cleared by the end of the week I’m afraid that will be all I can do. I will show you to your rooms.” No one said anything as she stood and walked out of the room, they reluctantly followed.

Late that night, Llorhan lay in his bed staring at his ceiling. Staring at the eyes of the beggars they past. He found himself disturbed by what he had seen. How could the richer people in Sequel, like the lord Corl, allow this to happen? He now understood that it was a rare thing, the closeness of the kind people of Dale. He wished he was very rich so that he could help all of them. There should be no death where it is not wanted. His eyes began to grow heavy and he slept.

Naimes lay back on the couch, her head rested a against it’s arm. Even with her eyes closed, she could feel the strange presence of the witch beside her and tried to remain as still as possible as Sorna had instructed. Sorna concentrated hard and as she moved through Naimes. She would only last a few months. Five if she battled hard, still Sorna searched for the disease, which was spreading through the woman. She moved up to her breast and saw it. There was the bastard. “Try to relax,” she said softly. Naimes could feel overwhelming pain in her chest and it felt as if it was about to explode. She stifled her agony as hard as she could. Sorna concentrated with all her power and she started to feel it. The pain was tremendous as she removed it from Naimes transferring it to her self. Her hand grasped the cancer and she could feel her concentration slip. All of sudden, an incredible flash threw Sorna from her chair and she landed on the ground. She pulled herself to her feet and moved alongside Naimes again, she was breathing deep in her sleep. Sorna wiped the sweat from her face with her tunic and proceeded to enter Naimes’s body once more. For a few hours she searched until, satisfied, she left the woman to sleep. The cancer had been removed and she went to her room to recover. Her mind was plagued with strange nightmares as the cancer was broken down in her own body and reformed into helpful things.

She was standing beside the waterfall. It was raining but the rain was the red of blood. She looked at the red waterfall and the sight sickened her. She looked at the blood stained ground and at her feet laid the mutilated body of a young girl. She was fifteen or sixteen. Sorna could not read the mind of the dead. She examined the body closely and she was killed by some sort of beast. It had razor sharp claws and a powerful jaw as far as she could tell. She looked around and saw nothing but blood stained grass and bits of flesh decorating the foliage. She felt warm breath on the back of her neck; her hackles rose quickly as she slowly turned around and looked into the eyes of the monster. It stood over seven feet, with the razor sharp claws and teeth she had predicted it would have. She was shocked at the eyes. One was green, one was albino white. It’s grey fur was soaked in blood and drool dripped from it’s open jaw. It ripped into her with it’s talons and she sat bolted upright in her bed in terror. She had felt it the pain of the claws digging into her and ripping at her flesh. She could feel the pain as she had looked at the young boy’s eyes last night. The green and white ones. She read his troubled mind and found thoughts of a girl he loved called Nea. This had made her smile but the nightmares. The beast. She could sense Llorhan in his room terrified. They had shared the nightmarish dream. Perhaps from different perspectives. She could remember looking into the night’s sky. A blue moon floating like an orb on the black background. There were no stars just the blue moon and the beast. She knew what it was and what Llorhan was. She knew what Lorten was. This was not the first time she had encountered creatures such as these. Something terrible was going to happen although even she could not see it. The werewolves would have to be careful. Especially the young one, he was the biggest threat to everyone. He had yet to learn the most important thing, control.

 

The story gets better every chapter. I'm enjoying the way you're advancing the plot through the various characters' dreams and visions. Keep those chapters coming!

 

Nice, keep it coming!

 

I like it. Good job.