My Dog, and Pets in General

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This is long and very depressing, so I would advise anyone who loves animals to skip it. I think I'm writing this more to get my own thoughts in order than actually thinking I can get a reasonable response from anyone that is going to make me feel any better.

My wife and I own an 11-year old chow named Boo. Boo has arthritis in her hip, and it has been getting progressively worse over the past two years. Over this time, my wife and I have spent a couple thousand dollars on Boo in an effort to slow the progression of the arthritis. We've even tried acupuncture for a time. (I eventually gave up on the acupuncture, because after several treatments, we didn't see any improvement, we weren't sure it was helping any, and obviously Boo can't tell us if her hind legs feel comparitively better after getting the treatment.) Additionally, we spend about $80 per month on pain and arthritis medication to keep her as comfortable as possible. Despite our efforts, Boo has still declined. Certainly our efforts were not entirely in vain, as she would go months at a time with no noticable changes, yet she never improved.

We weren't even aware she had arthritis until about two years ago, when she let out a yelp when attempting to jump into the back seat of the car. Some months later we noticed her having difficulty going up and down stairs. Months after that, she couldn't go up the stairs anymore so I started carrying Boo up the stairs after she went out to the bathroom (Boo is a 70-pound dog, so it's no easy task). Now I have noticed that in the past couple of weeks she is having difficulty even getting to her feet from a sitting position.

Inevitably, the next step in this downward progression will be that she will no longer be able to get up and support herself on her feet. At that point, I will have to acknowledge that we have done all we can, and we'll have to put her down.

While I know that will be the best decision, it certainly isn't going to make it any easier. A dog trusts you unconditionally. If I have to pick her up and put her in the car to take her to be euthanized, I don't know how I'll be able to compose myself to drive to the vet's office. I get tears in my eyes just thinking about it. She already hates going to the vet, and we usually take her there to feel better. (Although no doubt Boo simply equates the vet's office as a place where some nasty guy pokes her with a needle more often than not.) And then for how bad the drive over will be, actually taking her inside the vet's will be even worse.

As I said, I would not do this without exhausting all other options first, but unfortunately, all options have been exhausted at this point. Medically, there isn't anything more than can be done other than pain management. I don't know when this day will come, but the clock is ticking, and it is likely going to be sooner rather than later. I doubt it will be the next coulpe of days, although that is possible, but we are probably looking at a time frame of weeks, not months. I doubt we'll still have her at the end of March.

I guess the main problem I have goes back to the trust issue. I view putting her down as the ultimate violation of that trust - an act of betrayal - even if I do think it is the best decision that can be made. That and the fact that I don't know if Boo is in pain or not. If she is in pain, she bears it in silence. She never cries or whimpers. When she goes out to the bathroom, she doesn't bark at the bottom of the stairs when she's ready to come in. She justs sits down at the bottom of the stairs, patiently waiting for me to come looking for her. She still wags her tail when I come home from work. People say that dogs stop eating when they get close to the end, but Boo still eats just as much (if not more) than she always has. Lastly, dogs obviously lack the ability to speak, and also lack the cognitive ability to make a decision on their quality of life. So I have no way of knowing what level of discomfort exists, and because of that, the final hurdle to overcome is doubt. I can't know for sure at what point you give up. For all I know, we may have passed that point already, but Boo doesn't appear to be unhappy, yet there's no way I can know for sure.

For as terrible as it sounds, I would much prefer if Boo had a heart attack or something like that while I was at work, or died peacefully in her sleep, but I doubt it's going to happen that way. Of course, that's ultimately a selfish desire on my part, as it makes it no easier on Boo - just easier on me.

I also don't like the timing of this with my wife being pregnant. You see, it's technically my wife's dog. Boo is 11, and I would not even meet my wife until Boo was already 6 years old. This is my wife's baby we're talking about here, and while I have certainly become attached to Boo over the years, I can only imagine that this is going to be harder on my wife than me, which we don't need while she is pregnant.

I don't think I ever want another dog, ever. It's not that Boo was any better or worse than any other dogs I've had in my life, but rather because I don't know if the happiness you get from them is worth the emotional trauma you go through when they inevitably die. Though they are animals, they become like family members, and you feel terrible when you lose them. We already have enough grief to deal with when a loved one dies in the family - why add to it by getting pets. I'm thinking when the time comes we'll probably get Boo cremated. My wife and I will need a new home in the next couple of years, so I can't see the sense of burying her here.

[ March 02, 2007, 19:51: Message edited by: Aldeth the Foppish Idiot ]

 

Aw man . Dogs are just the best. The love you share with a dog is so unconditional. Just feed it when it's hungry and take it out for a walk each day, and you're it's best friend forever. Dogs are just ace. My dogs fill a void in my life that would be just empty if they weren't there. I could never, ever put a dog down. Never. My last dog had to be put down (this was some, 8-10 years ago) and I couldn't even watch as my dad carried her out of the house. The poor thing was blind and deaf was was a danger to herself. It was the kindest thing we could do, but I still couldn't go to the vets nor even watch as my dad carried her away.

Don't put her down yet, give her some time man. All 11 year old dogs have some gip when getting to their feet from lying down. The poor girl is past her prime now, that's no reason to put her down. Give the lass some time.

 

I'm definitely not going to put her down yet. Like I said, I think the timeframe we're dealing with here is weeks, not days. I just feel that if it gets to the point that she's so crippled up she can no longer get to her feet and walk around, is there really any other choice?

Believe me when I say that I won't do it until I am certain we have exhausted all options, and there's no hope left. We've literally spent thousands in the last two years between x-rays, acupuncture, and medication. While I cannot know for sure, I'd like to think that Boo would not have lived as long or as comfortably as she has if not for all our efforts.

The only other alternative we could pursue would be to fix her hips by getting hip replacement surgury. However, given Boo's age, the vet understandably feels it is unlikely she would survive the surgury. When you add to that the fact that Boo is 11 (and will be 12 this spring if she lives long enough), and the typical lifespan for her breed is 10-12 years, even if the surgury went perfectly, it is unlikely that replacing Boo's hips would prolong her life significantly. However, if Boo was in this condition when she was only 5 or 6 years old, I would have given surgury serious consideration - geez - I would need medical insurance for my dog!

[ March 02, 2007, 20:41: Message edited by: Aldeth the Foppish Idiot ]

 

Alas, Aldeth, no, there isn't. But until then, you don't have to do anything but enjoy Boo and love her.

As Cesar Milan likes to point out, dogs live in the moment. Unlike humans, she doesn't dwell on her pain or worry about it. But you are a human and you do both those things.

I am sorry Boo's condition is going downhill at the same time that you are looking forward to a new baby. Try not to fret too much about it. As you point out, Boo is nearing the end of her expected lifespan now. That you wouldn't be able to change anyway.

You have our support in this sad part of your life as well as in the more joyful part.

 

I'm sorry to hear it Aldeth, it's allways bad when a dog dies. I've had two dogs, both have passed away now and it's allways hard to deal with. My personal opinion is that it's of no use to prolong her suffering. To me it sounds like putting her down would be the best option. When a dog can't move properly it's in my opinion best to let go. Have you discussed with your vet about that option and asked for a professional opinion about it?

 

I hate to hear it Aldeth, I don't know what I would do if it was my dog. But, there might be another option, is the arthritis only in Boo's back hips? If so you could look into one of those doggy wheelchairs. www.doggon.com specialises in them and it might help Boo live a more active life.

 

Yeah, that's kind of where I am now. I don't know if she's slowed down because of her age, or because she is in pain. Like I said, she doesn't whimper in pain or anything like that, but clearly, she isn't moving like she used to.

Other times she surprises you. Like this morning, I carried her down the stairs to go to the bathroom, and I went back inside to make my lunch to take to work. When I finished making my lunch, my plan was to go back outside and carry her in. To my surprise she was standing at the back door when I opened it. As I doubt Boo has grown wings, in means she made it up the stairs on her own. Maybe, just like humans who have arthritis, she has good days and bad days, and today is one of the good days. If her hind legs were that weak, she's never be able to lift herself up the stiars.

Like us, the vet doesn't think she's in pain. Or if there is any pain, it only occurs when she's getting up and sitting down. Since once she gets up she can move OK (slowly, but OK), he does not think the pain is constant. As far as putting her down, he said that it really is what we're willing to put up with. Since he doesn't think Boo is in constant pain, he said the question really becomes is it too much of a bother to carry her up and down the stairs when she has to go to the bathroom. Or to help her out if she walks into a small corner.

Actually, I forgot to mention that. For some reason, the arthritis in her hips prevents her from effectively moving backwards. We have a space at our house that is only a couple of feet wide between the couch and the wall. The width is inadequate for Boo to turn around while she's back there. So instead she tries to walk backwards to get out, and for some reason she just can't do it.

Anyway, the vet said that he could support either decision for Boo at this time. If carrying her up and down the stairs to go to the bathroom becomes impractical, then he can see us putting her down. If we're willing to do that, he could see not putting her down either. After hearing that, I decided that while it is inconvenient to carry her up and down the stairs rather than just opening up the door, it's not *so* inconvenient that I'd rather her be dead. I don't know - as others have said it's a tough decision.

EDIT: I really don't think that a wheelchair is the way to go. Right now, the biggest problem is the stairs, and wheels aren't going to help going up and down stairs.

[ March 05, 2007, 15:09: Message edited by: Aldeth the Foppish Idiot ]

 

Aldeth, my dog was about 13. She died just before Christmas, and I found out when I went home for the holidays. I'd been dreading it for years by now, but I was relieved when she finally did pass away, because the idea of taking her on a 17 hours flight t our new home was a bad one.

Still, it surprises me that I haven't mourned yet. I mean, I had this dog for about 11 years.

Anyway, I know what you're going through.

 

Oh my God. The dog nearly died Wednesday night. It may also qualify as the single weirdest f'ing night of my life. We give the dog table scraps. We had pork chops for dinner the other night. My wife only ate about half of hers, and Boo knows that after dinner, if there isn't enough to take for lunch the next day, she is likely going to be the receipient of whatever is left.

So, she is waiting patiently as I start cleaning off the table. Seeing as how the only left over is half a pork chop that my wife didn't finish, I pull the half off the bone and toss it the dog. (It's a 70 pound dog, so I figured half a pork chop is no problem.) The dog tries to swallow it whole, and it lodges in its throat and the dog can't breathe. My wife tries to get the pork chop out of the dog's mouth, and the now-panicked dog bites her.

I try to perform the Heimlich maneuver on the dog, but the orientation of the dog makes this extremely difficult. Boo then passed out/lost consciousness and isn't breathing. At this point, my wife says the dog is dead and that there is nothing more than we can do, and that we need to get her to the emergency room because her hand is bleeding profusely. (Think Jan Jansen - "I don't mean to alarm you, but you see all this blood spraying everywhere? It's mine." I said, "Boo isn't dead yet, but will be if I can't get that pork chop out."

So I open the dogs mouth and reach as far back into the dogs throat as I can. I can feel the dog's teeth digging into my hand as I push farther and farther back. I have cuts all over my hand all the way back to the wrist, so I assume that's how far I got my hand back. Eventually I can feel the pork chop with my fingertips. I grab hold of it and pull. It broke in half, I didn't get the whole thing out, and the dog still wasn't breathing. So I reach in again, having to go even deeper this time, get hold of it and this time I get the whole piece out.

Almost immediately, the dog starts breathing again. My reaction: "WHO'S DA MAN!" It was then that I realized that my hand was dripping blood all over the place, and that my wife had a three-inch gash in her finger, which was also spraying all over the place.

So NOW what do we do? Well, the dog nearly died, we can't leave it here while we go to the emergency room, so I wrap my hand in a towel, throw the Mrs. and the dog in the car, and peel out of the driveway heading for the emergency vet clinic first. I run inside, explain the situation, and tell them that I need to get my wife to the emergency room. So I carry Boo in, and they agree to perform a full exam on her and hold her until we get back from the emergency room.

Off we go to the emergency room, I notice that the blood has nearly seeped through the towel on my right hand, but that's OK, it's in my lap, face up (almost all the punctures are on the palm) and I'm driving with my left hand. My wife is pressing another towel on her finger trying to get the bleeding to stop as well.

That's when things started getting really f'ed up. About a half mile from the emergency room, we see a gray pick-up truck take a turn way too fast, hit the median divider, and flip three times. To which, the only appropriate reaction that came out of my and my wife's mouth simultenously, was "Holy sh!t". After a second, I say to my wife - "I doubt we're going to be the priority case in the ER." So we get to the hospital, and as we walk in, we already here a bell ringing, with the message in an electronic voice saying: "Code Blue. Delta 14. All staff on standby." It repeated the same message, over and over.

At this point it's about 9:30 at night. We had a nurse bandage us up to get the bleeding under control, but it was 1:30 in the morning before we were taken back to see a doctor. My wife needed 10 stitches to close the cut on her finger. The most painful part of that is that the cut extended into her fingernail, so a few of the stitches are actually through her fingernail, which I'm guessing she's going to lose. It looks quite painful. Me on the other hand, had about a dozen or more puncture wounds all over my hand, none of which were large enough to be able to be stitched. So I got my wounds cleaned out, some anti-bacterial cream applied, and my hand bandaged. They also gave me a tetanus shot and a prescription for antibiotics. It was 3:30 in the morning when they discharged us.

The doctor wasn't comfortable doing anything other than cleaning and stitching my wife's hand, because she's pregnant, but advised us to get to her OB the next day for treatment. The next day, the OB informed us that it was totally fine for my wife to get a tetanus shot as well, and prescribed for her a low-grade antibiotic that was safe to take while pregnant.

Anyway, at 3:30, now we had to go back to the emergency vet. I talk to the vet, and she told me that other than being old and having arthritis, there's nothing wrong with Boo that you wouldn't expect with a geriatric dog. They said she was so well behaved they didn't even put her in the kennel. They just let her walk around in the back all night. (Although seeing as how the floor was tiled, I'm sure Boo didn't do much walking. Ever since she developed arthritis she has difficulty walking on slippery surfaces as her back legs slip out from under her. She's fine on carpet though.)

Anyway, we finally got back at 4:30 in the morning. I'm bandaged, my wife is stitched and Boo acts like nothing ever happened, even though she had a brush with death. Weird freakin' night.

 

O_o All I can say to that is... Holy Crap. Glad that Boo is ok (relatively speaking anyway) and hope the 2 of you dont have any complications.

 

Good work. That is a tough decision -- our older dog died a week before T3 was born, what an emotional roller coaster.

Chaos was in treatment for a condition that is ~50% fatal and in a lot of pain. She was in the hospital and we were on our way to visit her -- she died about when we pulled into the parking lot.

Not being there doesn't help any. I would rather have put her down earlier so she wouldn't have been in pain for so long.

 

Whoa, Aldeth, what a mess. Sounds like you got through it amazingly well, all things considered.

Hope you and your wife are OK - they sound like painful injuries.

 

It'll be a fun story to tell the kid(s?).

 

It's already pretty funny, injuries aside. All things considered, I probably got away with the least in terms of injury. Even though Boo seems fine now, choking to the point of losing consciousness can't be fun. My hand is all bandaged up, but I think my injury isn't as bad as my wife who needed stitches. Boo didn't bite me. My wounds were quasi-self-inflicted. It was the dogs teeth that cut me, but it wasn't because Boo was biting, but rather because the pork chop was so far back in the dog's throat that I had to push my hands against her teeth to get it out. None of my cuts are large (just deep), I just have holes all over my palm and it's swollen like you wouldn't believe.

That having been said, the only thing I would have changed if I had to do it all over again (aside from not giving Boo half a pork chop obviously) was to stop my wife from trying to get the chop out of the dog's mouth. Knowing the injuries I caused in getting the chop out, I would still do the same if confronted with the situation again. I couldn't let Boo choke to death on the living room floor. I'm just thankful she started breathing again after getting the pork chop out. The next step would have been mouth-to-mouth, or in the case of a dog (yes it's possible to perform) nose-to-mouth.

 

Eww, I've gone mouth-to-mouth with a few dogs in my time but never that literally!

Glad all 3 of you are alright anyway pal.

 

Well, Boo isn't doing so well now. I seriously doubt this has anything to do with choking on the pork chop, but she is having even more difficulty getting around the house. It's takes a great deal of effort for her to get to her feet from a sitting position. I think the end is coming soon. I doubt I'll do anything before the coming weekend - and even then we still need to get the stitches out of my wife's hand - but I think we're getting very near to the end. I'm going to feel terrible doing this, but I think we're reached the point where Boo has just about no quality left in her life, and there is no chance for her to improve. I think that what I'll do this last week is actually give her real people food - make a little extra each night for dinner. I know it's not healthy for dogs to each people food exclusively, but evidently it isn't going to be people food that kills her.

 

Making the decision is a hard one but there does come a time when it is actually a kindness. It will hurt. I know because I've been there.

 

Well, that was one of the toughest phone calls I've ever made. We'll take Boo to the vets this Sunday at 12:30. The doctor will see her first, and give us his opinion on whether or not she should be put down, but I think I already know what the answer is. Given what we have done in the past, I think we have exhausted all of our medical options at this point. So it would only be a surprise at this point if the answer was we could do more.

I've always liked the vet we have, and it seems like they even try to do things to make this difficult time easier. They usually try to schedule them as the last appointment of the day, so that there are no other people in the office when you come in. They'll let you sit in a room, say your goodbyes, and then you press a button on the wall when you're ready for the doctor to come in.

This just sucks. I can't believe I just had to place a phone call to schedule the death of my dog. She has had arthritis for a long time, and while I realized this was an eventuality, I always thought that if we took care of Boo as well as we could, that she would eventually pass on her own, preferably peacefully in her sleep.

I know in my heart that we have done all we can do, but for some reason, that is giving me very little consolation at this point. Heck, less than a week ago, I pulled a pork chop out of the suffocating dog's mouth, injuring myself in the process. At the time the dog collapsed, my wife thought the dog had died, and told me to let her go, but I couldn't do that. I had no idea if the dog would be OK after getting the chop out, but if I hadn't removed it, I always would have questioned whether or not I could have saved her. And I knew at the time that I did it, I would only be saving her for a relatively brief time.

When I started this thread at the beginning of the month, I said that it would be unlikely if we still had Boo by the end of the month. It was the night of the 7th when she almost choked to death on the pork chop, and it turns out my effort will likely only have bought her 11 more days. And now I have her for only 5 more days. It's a very sad count down. I can't believe I'm going to have to pick her up and put her in the car on Sunday, and she won't be coming back home with me.

I tried talking to the dog last night, even though I know the dog can't possibly understand what I'm saying. I told her how sorry I was, how I tried to do the best for her, and how I never wanted it to get to this point. It's at this point that I'm happy that dogs lack higher reasoning skills, because at least I know Boo doesn't think that I failed her. She doesn't know what's coming, and she doesn't know how little time she has left. I don't know if that's better or worse.