In Honor of Stupid People

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In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.
(Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how???....)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu desser T (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...ya think????...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time)?

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and...I'm taking this because?!?!?)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what)?

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning : contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (Oh my God...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

 

It's these sorts of things that were the inspiration for my Stupid Lawsuits thread on this forum a couple of months back. The case I cited:

Some idiot had a step ladder, and he put the feet of it in a pile of manure; when he climbed the ladder, the feet of course slipped, causing him to fall and injure himself. He sued the ladder manufacturer for not putting a warning label on the ladder that the feet should not be put in manure (or something to that effect; the lawsuit probably said the warning should be more general). He won the lawsuit, and won a large sum of money (I forget how much).

Nothing surprises me anymore. It's just sad that manufacturers have to go to such lengths to protect people from themselves.

 

Some other idiot had a cofee at Mc Donald ( Why would you want a cofee there ?) She burnt her lips while drinking and she sued the restaurents, because it wasn't said in the cup that the cofee could be hot and she won the lawsuit. Pathetic period.

 

I wonder what they put on a box of condoms?

Another one that cracks me up is shampoo bottles. It says, "Wet hair, apply shampoo. Rinse. Repeat." How long has shampoo been around??? I mean, who do they put that on there for? Imigrants from Africa?

 

I heard the McDonalds one as well.

some others come to mind, only one really stupid but hey...

1) Tag on a hotel hairdryer: Do Not use in shower

2) Sign outside a mortuary: Don't drive recklessly, we'll wait

3) Sign on a maternity unit door: Push

 

The most dangerous combination of human conditions is stupidity coupled with greed. A little goading from an ambulance chaser and there is no limit to how far one can sink. Throw in a little lust and the depravity is limitless. More on this later, I'm watching the Marlins kick Yankee butt

 

Well, a lot of those where pretty dumb however the warnings on the medicines have to be there by law...I guess an adult might take a childs cough medicine if they really needed it and they were out of the adult formula.

 

You should read up on that McDonald's case. That was not a frivolous claim. McDonald’s were overheating their coffee. They had been warned about this before. The reason coffee should not be heated to such a high temperature is that a spill will result in far more serious burns than those that would result from a spill of coffee heated to the recommended temperature.

I agree, though, that there are plenty of ridiculous claims. There have been two excellent examples in Australia over the past few years. In one, a man was awarded a very large sum of money when he broke his neck on a sandbar while swimming in the ocean. Apparently someone had neglected to put a big “watch out for the ground” sign up on the beach. He won his case, but somewhere down the track someone saw reason, and it was overturned. Another incident happened in the city I live in. Someone got really drunk over at a mate’s parent’s place, and dove from the back fence of their waterfront property into the canal behind the house. He broke his neck. The owners of the house (who were away on holiday, I believe), were found partially responsible because they didn’t have a sign up in their own back yard warning people that jumping off high fences into shallow water is a bad idea.

 

Oh my, a whole topic just about me....

The mortuary note mentioned above reminded of of this "anti-high speed slogan".

Love God. Love your neighbor. Don't meet both by accident!

Regarding the Mcdonalds case, someone posted highly detailed review of the case about a year ago. Try doing a search.

 

This morning I was watching television and there was a show on about a school speed-skating school in the Netherlands. Someone was interviewing one of the skating teachers:
Question: Do the children want to be like Rintje Ritsma (famous Dutch speed-skater)?
Answer: No, only the boys...

 

Tobias offered an some insight as to why these labels are like that: to prevent someone from suing the company for doing something some idiot in the past did.

BONUS: On a TV-Not dishwasher safe