I neither am nor try to be perfect.

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Ladies and gentlemen, I officially admit that I am not perfect (surprise, heh ). And don't even wish or try to be.

Look what I have found: the list of 26 things the perfect man would do

I have no idea who could be the original author of this truly exhaustive work of wisdom, but may all the credits be bound to him forever, now and eternity, world without end, amen. It can be found all over the internet and probably quite many of you have received it in the form of chain mail. With no implication of actual authorship, please allow me to refer you here for the list of points addressed by the irredeemably sinful yours truly.

Now that you have familiarised yourselves with the said points, let me expose the immensity of my imperfection and of my unwillingness to improve.

1. Know how to make you smile when you are down.

I even know how to make you smile when I'm down, but this is not the point. To say that I'm not there to make you smile when you're down would also be a misunderstanding, but this is not the point either. The point is that I don't believe relationships are about people getting down periodically on regular basis or random seed pattern and other people's inherent exclusive role being that of making them good.

I do not regret and refuse to improve.

2. Try to secretly smell your hair, but you always notice.

I will do that quite often, but not secretly by any means.

I do not regret and refuse to improve.

3. Stick up for you, but still respects your independence.

This is beyond my linguistic competence.

I do not regret and refuse to improve.

However, if this means, and I suppose it does, the guy following you around and behaving like a rock star's fan but not hoping for or expecting too much:

I do not regret and refuse to improve.

4. Give you the remote control during the game.

I would most probably give it to you any time if you asked politely, regardless of who you are for me, but because you asked for it and not because you wanted it. I could even give it to you when I felt you would like to play with it, but that is no inherent right of yours.

I do not regret and refuse to improve.

5. Come up behind you and put his arms around you.

What else should he do? Gently move on to biting your ears, leaving moist pink tracks all over your neck while slowly but steadily proceeding towards your whatever and so on and so forth, please refer to Romance For Housewives #2395868932 for further details?

Actually I'm even more creative. How about you?

I do not regret and refuse to improve.

6. Play with your hair.

Any time. You would have enough of it sooner than I.

I do not regret and refuse to improve.

7. His hands always find yours.

Any time, even when I'm drunk into oblivion and the light has been off for centuries. I even have a special thing for hands... you know... long, smooth fingers, ah, excuse my being soft for a while. But haven't I told you that people incapable of maintaining *emotional* contact aren't my sort of people?

I do not regret and refuse to improve.

8. Be cute when he really wants something.

I'm not going to be any cuter than I would be if you wanted something from me. Disappointed? Then go elsewhere and check yourself if the other guy is as cute when he wants something as I am when *you* come and want something. But if you mean *just* 'cute', then you might even be right, on second thought...

I do not regret and refuse to improve.

9. Offer you plenty of massages.

Oh, you would be suprised. Really. But you would be no less surprised to find out that I'm not a freebie luxury spa attendant.

10. Dance with you, even if he feels like a dork.

I would be trying to anyway. But I suppose you dance only when you feel like it at the very moment in time?

I do not regret and refuse to improve.

11. Never run out of love.

Oh well... Some interesting language again. Never run out of frsh fling energy, you mean? Or of deeply insightful and sincerely loving lines downloaded from a place similar to the one where this list can be found? He should also mumble 'I love you' several times daily and stroke your ego any other way he can? We differ here.

I do not regret and refuse to improve.

12. Be funny, but know how to be serious.

And have a shiny limousine but know how to ride a bicycle?

However, if we stick to the literal meaning conveyed by the words themselves rather than any interpretation thereof, than I believe that in fact everything relies upon the knowledge of things proper that comes with either upbringing or age.

What's more, I have no particular desire to be funny.

I do not regret and refuse to improve.

13. Realize he's being funny when he needs to be serious.

Apparently this bit of wisdom is beyond my mental capabilities.

Suprisingly, I do not regret and refuse to improve.

14. Be patient when you take forever to get ready.

Actually I find your taking forever to get ready disrespectful.

I do not regret and refuse to improve.

15. React so cutely when you hit him and it actually hurts..........

You would be surprised. Probably you wouldn't have seen anything remotely as cute in your life, except for the movies and books you seem to adore, which don't count because they are not life. But trust me, you would rather I had just returned the favour.

I do not regret and refuse to improve.

16. Smile a lot.

Like this? (*Chevalier's Reluctant Smile of Doom*)

But so far as my memory serves me well, I have already said that I have no particular desire to be funny... Oh, if you really want it, I can fake one perfectly, probably even better than you.

I do not regret and refuse to improve.

17. Plans a romantic date full of cheesy things he wouldn't normally

Actually I don't do things I wouldn't normally do. Or deal in cheese sector. For a cartload of cheese please contact the milkman.

I do not regret and refuse to improve.

18. Appreciate you.

Yes, the true you. And 'appreciate' is a very good word here. Appreciate, no more, no less. It's strange you even mention it... I would have thought that was obvious... or wait, maybe you are thinking about something different, let's say worship?

As you probably know, I do not regret and refuse to improve.

19. Help others out.

Who is 'others'? I also suppose he shouldn't take too long helping others when being with you? Or rather make sure you see that he does? Another thing is that I, in particular, believe in helping people rather than simply and plainly helping them out and that helping someone out doesn't really help him all that much.

I do not regret and refuse to improve.

20. Drive 5 hours just to see you for 1.

Actually I'd rather put it off till the next day. Oh wait, but this would no longer be driving 5 hours just to see your for one...

Unbelieveably, I do not regret and refuse to improve.

21. Always gives you a peck on the cheek when you depart from each others company, even when his friends are watching.

Hmm... isn't it a normal form of greeting between friends of opposite sex to kiss them, be it on the cheek, lips or whatever part of face? I'm completely lost here.

Something must be wrong... beneath the surface. I sense evil around here, so just in case:

I do not regret and refuse to improve.

22. Sing, even if he can't.

OK, you were asking for it

I do not regret and refuse to improve.

23. Have a creative sense of humor.

Of course. And it takes a person with a really 'creative' sense of humour to form such a request. By the way, how in this beautiful world can a sense be creative?

I do not regret and refuse to improve.

24. Stare at you.

... jaw-dropped? Or what? So that you would know you're hot and turn him on?

Well, I am a renowned aesthete, so I would probably look quite a bit, but I don't stare at anything, sorry. Not I. No way. I suggest buying a webcam and contacting maddox for further information.

I do not regret and refuse to improve.

25. Call for no reason.

It's close to impossible to phone for not any reason at all unless someone is not really into reasoning, whereunto I do not belong. Oh, and I don't feel like dialling one number twice in one day... sorry, this must be something with my upbringing.

I, however, do not regret and refuse to improve.

26. Quit smoking, chewing, drinking, or drugs - just because he loves you that much to quit it.

I suppose you consider that a lawful and even trade-off, one addiction for another? Hmm... what's this smell... feromones?

How else would you like to shape the guy? Not for his own good or health, but to show you how he loves you? An earring with your initials perhaps? Oh, or are eyebrows in fashion now? By the way, if a guy's word needs a proof, how much is that proof worth? I'm sure it has a pretty reasonable net worth.

Here too, I do not regret and refuse to improve.

As you see, I am not perfect. What's more, I don't want to be perfect. I do not regret, do not wish to improve and refuse even to try. In fact, as you can easily see, I am totally imperfect and flawed. Apparently, there is no hope for me, according to this venerable oracle. Probably I should be depressed and wallow in self-contempt unable to bear the burden of the knowledge of my sorry condition. Or I should hopelessly try to achieve the unachieveable and change the unchangeable.

But I don't. Contrary even, I feel happy in a way

[ July 21, 2003, 09:26: Message edited by: chevalier ]

 

Amen, my fellow warrior. Amen.

 

Chevy is a nut case, no one on Earth would should do thoose things hehe

 

26 things a perfect man would do for a woman, that i agree. (although cultural background might differ a bit). But that doesn't mean, at all, 26 things for a perfect man. Men have waaaaay more things to take care of. A perfect man for this world, for me, would be someone like Ghanti.

 

I just use the 26 positions, works for me

 

These request are by women aren't they?
Now is it my fault that i would rather be myself and always a lonely ranger than be the perfect puppet for a crazy with "perfection" woman?
I wonder what women would say if i put out the respective demands for the perfect woman

 

Here's a link to To the Best Page in the Universe, he got it all right about those things

http://maddox.xmission.com/26_things.html

 

Hmm... If I were with a guy who complies perfectly that list, I'd probably dump him for Chev in less time than it takes to say "Cheese"

 

One: THat list surely doesn't make anyone more perfect, maybe more "loveable"!

Two: Why not make such a list for your g/f, and see how she would react

Three: Nobody's perfect, end of story/discussion...

 

I am perfect, not by your standards but by my standards, there aint no better(or worse) me about, so there is no other me to compare myself with.

 

hmm...it seems odd to me that the little man in the boat isn't even mentioned once...

 

Do you mean the Ty-Dee-Bowl Man?! Well, cleanliness is said to be next to Godliness...

 

Cheers! Everything that I have to say has already been said.

 

Arabwel: Couldn't say it better.

Oh well.

1. Know how to make you smile when you are down.

Disagree. I don't smile.

2. Try to secretly smell your hair, but you always notice.

Disagree.

3. Stick up for you, but still respects your independence.

Disagree

4. Give you the remote control during the game.

If I ask, yes.

If I don't ask, no.

5. Come up behind you and put his arms around you.

Depends.

6. Play with your hair.

I maim people, who touch my hair. And this applies to everyone. Disagree then.

7. His hands always find yours.

What is it with rhe hands?

8. Be cute when he really wants something.

Gosh. Adult men AREN'T cute. Unless they're Orlando Bloom or Elijah Wood.

9. Offer you plenty of massages.

Disagree

10. Dance with you, even if he feels like a dork.

When he wants to. Ain't gonna force him.

11. Never run out of love.

Love isn't a thing you can run out of.

12. Be funny, but know how to be serious.

Depends.

13. Realize he's being funny when he needs to be serious.

I can do the same.

14. Be patient when you take forever to get ready.

I don't take forever to get ready. Only 2-3 minutes.

15. React so cutely when you hit him and it actually hurts..........

Disagree. Abuse doesn't belong in a relationship.

16. Smile a lot.

I don't smile and I don't froce other people to smile, but I maim people who smile too much.

17. Plans a romantic date full of cheesy things he wouldn't normally

Disagree.

18. Appreciate you.

Agree.

19. Help others out.

Disagree.

20. Drive 5 hours just to see you for 1.

Sheesh, do you know of this thing called internet or cell phones?

21. Always gives you a peck on the cheek when you depart from each others company, even when his friends are watching.

Ain't a friend of the public kissing thing.

22. Sing, even if he can't.

Disagree.

23. Have a creative sense of humor.

Wording again. Disagree.

24. Stare at you.

Disagree.

25. Call for no reason.

Disagree.

26. Quit smoking, chewing, drinking, or drugs - just because he loves you that much to quit it.

Depends.

Now, here ya go.

I think I'm being pretty reasonable.

BTW, here in Estonia people don't even hug. Must be the legacy of Soviet Union. Oh well. It's just weird. People just don't hug.

 

Don't really know what to make of that list, although my g/f liked it
But she won't hold those points against me (hope she means that )