HOW ARE YOU GENTLEMEN!

Remove all ads!

ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US!

Sorry, couldn't resist....

urgh...I FOLLOW THEE MASTER CATS....

 

Hey there Cheetah Master...I always thought you were a pussycat underneath all that pent up rage and aggression!

When are you trading in that weak-ass katana for a nice solid Holy Avenger?

 

ARGH! That's it!
I'm thru with your spitting, Shura! You asked for this!
I don't care if I lose my avatar, this is worth it, period.


The powergamer story from Regret Fortress
(told by Yves-Tale-Chaser)

Shura: (Enters top floor. All companions lie dead including those from BG1, BG2, IWD and expansions. Takes deep breath...)

Trans: So you have come! (eyes sparkle)
You will die again! (FLAME, FLAME)

Shura: Who or what are you?
Why are you still playing this crap game?

Trans: I'm your lost mortality. And I'm sick of listening to you and reading every junkmail you post on sorcerers' forums just to get nicer avatar. So I intend to merge with you and wait for shadows to kill us.

Shura: Wait! (thanks TeamBG utils for helm of fear protection) I want some answers!

Trans: OK pussy. Ask.

Shura: What have you done with my friends?

Trans: You meant to ask: Are they dead? (Your high charisma can't help you against me. HAHAHAHAHA)
Yeeees. I pulled out their intestines and crack opened each skull. (FLAME)
Just improvin' skills Ravel teaches me. (ashamed, cheeks start to glow red)

Shura: I don't care. They played this stupid game so they got what they deserved. Now I'll kill you so you can't merge with me. Then I'll blast shadows.

Trans: Your intelligence is beyond heroic (cheater, how did you get 26?), still you don't understand if I die, you die too. Powergamer, bah! (FLAME - just to remind)

Shura: Then I'll use my 99 strength, 99 dexterity and 99 constitution with items I used TeamBG utilities to get them and Xcap removed. When I tie you with magical rope from BG2 I'll send you to Maze where ugly Ravel dwells and where noone will ever find you except that nasty Whore of Pain.

Trans: How dare you to speak such dirty things about my both lovers!! (FLAME, FLAME, FLAME). I changed my mind. I shall not kill you. You'll be sent to BG2 Asylum and rot there forever while I mess with the girls. (smaller dirtier rotten flame).

Shura: Wait a minute. I have Blade of Immortal. And Entropic Blade. And Celestial Fire (ugh, can't use that, need some cheater utils to change alignment). And I know every spell Black Isle made including Bands of Sirellyn, Wind Tempest, Maw of Chaos and The Final Word that were planned to be in Torment but they never implemented them (so I digged them out from DLGfiles.bif). You can't touch me bastard! If this ain't enough I still have some tricks (HEHEHEHE, he doesn't know of my Aihonen's Blade from IWD and Gauss Rifle from Fallout 2).

Trans: I heard something. You fart?

Shura: No. (listens too)
Something hisses from the heavens. (puts Jan's oculars on).
Look! Intruder flies down! And it's big!

Lady (of Pain in the ass): Who dares to speak my name? My true name?

Shura: I did! (no, this is not wise - removes fear protection helmet)
I mean, he did! (hides under Imoen-from-BG1's legs and Imoen-from-BG2's torso)

Lady: Don't u powergamer lie to me! I aready mazed you many times for that! Trans, my love, I'm sick of this annoying nut. What do you propose me to do with him?

Trans: I don't care as long as I have your company. (starts striptease)

Lady: Oh, baby, you're so thrilling. (blush)
Don't worry about powergamer cranium rat. I'm real godess, not one of those mentioned in BG1, BG2, IWD and expansions never seen by anybody. In fact they don't exist - but I do. And I can do what I like. Thanx Black Isle. (swings her blades)

GAME END.

Although immortal, Shura died for testing immortality against the wrong creature. Trans and Lady went to Mount Celestia to be married. Noone heard about Ravel again. And everyone else lived happily when heard about Shura.

 

Eh?
eheheheheh
Shura, you had no chance to survive make your time.

for great justice.

 

Why would you lose your avatar?
Sure go ahead and flame me, like I care.

A Holy Avenger's for wimps, Bel. I'd rather use a non-magical katana that hits as a +5 due to my Kensai bonuses. (REAL kensai bonuses, not the super dumbed down one in BG2)
If you have to rely on a god to grant you powers, a paladin really isn't much of a man or a woman, for that matter.

 

hear, hear!!
wait a minute, i'm a fallen paladin, does that count?

 

ROFL Extremist!

 

It must stop!!!

http://www.angelfire.com/film/mortis/AYB.html

 

Rofl!

for great justice!

 

Well I'm fine I guess. A little tired but otherwise....

 

Paladins are cool, as are all other classes.

Can't be doing with class-ism.