Got a girlfriend ? How did you do it ?!?

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I'm 26 years old and I've never had a girlfriend in my life. All the people I work with are engaged in relationships. I would like to how anyone else managed to find a girlfriend. If your a women, your welcome to give any "friendly" advice.

 

You're either completely butt-ugly (which I strongly doubt) or just lack a little self-confidence. Sometimes you just have to go ahead and do something, or say something without thinking what the consequences might be. Like, if there's a girl you are attracted to, just as her the **** out and don't worry about her maybe saying no. You'll get told no alot, everyone does, that's their loss not yours, fook them if they're not bothered. You'd be surprised what you can achieve with that.

Chin up mate, you'll find someone!

Edit - Having said that, I lok through your posts and **** like this

"Sorry, but I don't agree with interracial relationships. I'm a british asian man and I certainly would not go out with a white woman. I think its best if each race sticks to their own. "

It's hardly surprising you've never had a chick. Wake up and smell the 21st century pal.

 

It happened spontaneously for me. I did nothing special.
I think the key is in someway having their attention. It can be done in various ways. You can have a good sense of humour, you can seem good, you can be intelligent, you can have money (but I don't advise yoou the girls who are attracted by it), you can be good at something, you can be a symbol of masculinity and most importantly, there are always girls around who are mad for a romantic man. Because it is found rarely. And being at the right place at the right time is also very important.

Or you can follow a different strategy. First, seem like you are interested in them. Most girls like being interested in by someone. The bait is swallowed. Then, try to escape from them, they will probably chase you.

And I forgot to mention the most important thing: get a life if you don't have one already.

 

Barmy Army, that quote was just to provoke a reaction. I don't actually believe that! Sorry If you feel angry about it.

 

How can I forget it

 

Apology accepted. My last girlfriend was Asian, and I'm white and the relationship was great (whilst it lasted). That's why I just bit a little about that, but it's OK.

But yeah, just don't be scared to say what you feel about a lass. Just choose the right moment as apposed to 'in her face' out of the blue. Talk to her for a bit in a friendly way, let her get to know you then just ask her if she'd like to go out for a drink. Why would she say no? Besides, if she does, bollocks to her, find another you like and don't get all upset about it.

 

The best way to getting a girlfriend is to involve yourself in something. Join an activity group, join a church, go back to school - something. Find something that interests you and seek out a group of like-minded folk. Bars and whatnot are IMO a horrible place to try and find a mate. I know you feel - I didn't find my current girlfriend til I was 22, and before that I'd found it extremely frustrating to find a meaningful relationship.

The reason I say "join a group" is because if you're both a part of that group, you instantly have something in common. The ice is broken right there. From there you discover other things you have in common to talk about, and it goes from there.

Punch your weight - that's important. Don't go for girls that are not on your attractive-ness level. A lot of guys with your problem tend to shoot for girls that are out of their league, even by just a little. It's a recipe for disappointment, and only rock stars and rich guys can ignore this rule.

Not that I endorse the following - but you could take the opposite approach that Barmy mentioned and find a fellow racist to date. At least you know you have something in common. I certainly can't recommend it myself, having spent the last 4+ years in an excellent inter-racial relationship. [edit - oh, you were kidding...ok.]

Ida know...I guess I need more information. How sociable are you? Are you still in college, or considering a return? I've found that college is a great place to meet a girl to date. All in all, 9 times out of 10, the best relationships come from an acquaintance or friendship that blossoms into something more. Expanding your catalogue of friends (and thus, getting them to introduce you to more eligable ladies) is always a surefire strategy, provided you are polite and don't have repulsive personal habits.

Yeah, I'm gonna need more info here.

 

@ Death Rabbit. I don't have any friends. I basically work my ass off quietly in work whilst listening to all my colleagues discussing their private lives and find I just go home in silence and play RPG's or DVD's for the rest of the night. S**t life I know. I don't earn much so I find it very difficult to move out from my wretched parents. My personality is lonely and quiet and I find myself very isolated and tempremental. When it comes to work, I work damn hard and can absorb any critisism - usually in the form of loud yelling and bad breath by my boss- quite easily! As for recreational activites I do work out doing weightlifting in the gym.

 

I'm married, but I have several friends that swear by this book:

link

It's an entaining read and is based on some pretty intuitive ideas about the female psyche. It's mainly written for guys trying to score with women, but is useful for initially attracting potential girlfriends.

Also, guys can shoot above their attractiveness level (as opposed to girls, who really cant). You just have to know how to do it.

[ November 29, 2006, 00:27: Message edited by: Taluntain ]

 

Right - but obviously he doesn't know how - hence, this topic. That's why I say "punch your weight," not "know thy place." The boxing analogy is appropriate here. While it's not impossible for a flyweight to defeat a heavyweight, the deck is overwhelmingly stacked in the heavyweight's favor. The right fighter, with enough skill, could prevail with enough cunning and heart. In Deadman's case, it would be suicide - by his own admission.

@ Deadman

Well, you're going to have to remedy that. If you don't make time to better yourself, relax and enjoy other people, you'll never find someone you can connect with - unless you get unbelievably lucky and your bad-breath boss partners you up with a new co-worker who happens to be your dream girl. Since the odds on that happening are exponentially bad, you have to go out and improve your situation. While I can appreciate your healthy work ethic, you'll have to apply some of that determination to forming some semblance of a social life. Get out. Branch out. Expand your circle. That's the surest way to meet somebody compatible. Trying new things is always helpful. You don't need much money to do this - you just have to take an interest and make the time.

edit - Is getting a different job a possibility? That's where I met my girl...

 

Staying at home = 0% chance of meeting anyone.

Go out more.

 

Try going to a bar every so often, or to the poub or whatever. Just get out. You won't meet anyone staying at home, unless your local pizza girl is teh hawt.

 

Deadmen: You play CPRG's? Try a real one, for starters. Try to find a group with people your age (they really exist! the groups, I mean.)) and train social relations for a time. It makes you feel more comfortable to be yourself.

 

If you know a girl whose dating, give it time then, when splitzville comes a-calling, catch her on the rebound!

 

Recipe for disaster, that.

 

And even if you're butt ugly, if you have enough self confidence you can do just fine with the ladies.

Just look at Tom Leykis (American radio talk show host), he's fat, he's ugly, but he's the king of teaching guys how to get action with the ladies-- and without spending hardly any money on them in the process. In short, he's the godfather of getting tail.

His website is here for anyone who's interested: http://www.blowmeuptom.com

I'm married, and don't subscribe to most of his views. But his advice seems to work .

 

Truer words have never been spoken. You want to meet a girl? Pipe up at work a bit, rather than sitting quietly in your chair. Get noticed. If confidence is your problem, try practicing in the mirror exactly what you're going to say to a girl. Think about to say and write things down. Don't be afraid to talk to people and get noticed. How are you going to attract a girl (or get a job promotion) if you're content to hang out in the background?

 

What about internet dating? A friend of mine did that, and we all laughed at him for being a desperate loser. But he met this girl, and she's really nice, they have been going out together now for two years and have just become engaged. So it's certainly an option, if other ideas have not worked.

But everybody else that I know met their girlfriends and wives at work. I met every single one of my proper former girlfriends at work and I met my wife at work as well.

 

Rubbish...all of it.

You just have to be yourself when you're around women. If you're the typical WoW geek and never leave home...then you're going to have to do the unthinkable and go outside!

Go to social places and be confident. Most women won't approch *you*. You have to approch *them*. If you're shy...well, then stop it. It might be hard, but you've got to take a step outside of your little bubble. I used to be very shy, and had no confidence or self esteem...but look at me know! I just got married to sexy little devil! It took *alot* of effort to date women in high school because of the 3 problems I had, but during my 11th year, I decided to make a change. It was really hard, and took a lot of practice, but soon after, I started getting a lot more dates than I ever did before. My 12th year is when I first met my wife...we started dating around the middle of the school year...and 5 years later, we got married.

Just make a change, give it time, and hope for the best. If that doesn't work, make another change.

 

Well, internet dating can't possibly be all rubbish, because it worked for my friend. I'd have been the first to tell him if the girl he met was really a man or something bad like that, but she's actually nice and normal.

But otherwise, Kitrax's advice is mostly sound. The more women you talk to, without trying to be anyone different, the greater the chance of meeting someone compatible.