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Goldmember (spoilers...big ones)

Discussion in 'Whatnots' started by Sir Dargorn, Jul 31, 2002.

  1. Sir Dargorn Gems: 21/31
    Latest gem: Pearl


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    A little review:

    Austin powers 3. What a beautiful sentence that is. My walk into the cinema was a rollercoaster of emotions and nervous projectile vomiting.
    For the first time ever i decided to forgo the usual ten gallon bucket of popcorn as i thouhgt, optimisticly, that i would choke to death on it.

    The adverts and trailers were a blur, the excitment and atmosphere of the entire experience was too much and before the movie had even begun my friends had to tighten my muzzle twice.

    After such over zealous anticipation, resulting in the loss of much bodily fluids, i must say that apart from the very beginning with Tom Cruise, gywneth paltrow, spacey and Devito, the first 20 minutes almost drove to tears and i came close to biting through my restraints.

    The whole thing felt shabby, almost as if the whole cast was improvising, the jokes were poorley timed and most of the material was common from the last two yet done in a way that made you feel as if they were just trying to get it over and done with and move on to the good bit of the film. (Britney Spears made me gnaw viciously at my straps to... but for different reasons :D :rolleyes: )

    The flashbacks of childhod began to pick the whole thing up and the introduction of Foxy gave the whole thing a little more dynamic quality. Soon mini me and doctor evil delivered the goods and in seemingly very little time at all the entire cinema audience was in hysterics.

    Sir Caine, as always, succeeded at playing a bad actor very well and his role as Nigel powers added a touch of class and almost, dare i say it, dignity to the film. His short scene with the guards on Dr. Evil's submarine was just superb.

    Fat bastard made an appearence, allbeit not a particually funny one in a sumo ring and A man with a huge mole on his face also made quite an impression on the mole...er...the film i mole...mean.

    The film really seemed to peak in the middle. Ending as it did in such an ungainly and rather pathetic way that you really wished the film had just stopped halfway through. Dr. evil becoming good was a little too uncomfortable for me and i think that although Seth Green will make an even better evil guy... there is something slighty more sinister about a secret agent who fights a evil clone of himself.

    Overall the film seemed to dive up and down a bit. Sometimes you almost felt that an entire scene was made up just to make a situation for the use of one fart joke. Some characters, you felt, as if maybe they shouldn't have been invented. Goldmember himself, for example seemed to be a totally dutch twat :mad: , with nothing even remotley funny about him apart from the fact that he eats his own skin.

    Good Bits:
    Mini Me and Austin's fight scene.
    The mole.
    Dr evil and the globe.
    The submarine.
    The prison.
    The shadow screen.

    Bits to go for a piss in:
    The beginning
    The end
    The bits with goldmember.

    Alltogether i would give this film 76 %
    More like a sketch show. But quite a good one.

    Anyone else like to share their opinions?
     
  2. Yerril Gems: 22/31
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    [​IMG] The Tom Cruise bit made me laugh...

    uh...

    and the Steven Spielberg backflipping bit...

    yeah.
     
  3. Psycho. the fanged rabbit Gems: 9/31
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    I personally thought it was way better than the first one but a little worse than the second. The best part in the movie is the whole doctor scene, the rap scene, and the pissing scene. One out of ten I would give it a 7.
     
  4. 8people

    8people 8 is just another way of looking at infinite ★ SPS Account Holder Adored Veteran

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    I thought it was okay, I thought it was a bit overdone, though I've only seen 1 and 3, dunno what 2 is like so I can't really compare
     
  5. ejsmith Gems: 25/31
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    Ditto Sir Yerril.

    Minime in a baby Bajorn was funny too. I bet that poor midget has a complex. Danny Devito as minime was another good call. Dunno about Kevin Spacey. The 'doctor' scene with the sillouette was strangely-humerous too.

    I'd say the first one was the best, but I'd only give it a 5/10. This one gets a 4, and the second movie gets a 3.

    At first, it's funny. But after a while (couple of decades), 9-year-old humor just gets old...
     
  6. Gormenghast Gems: 10/31
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    [​IMG] Haha you guys are lucky, i don't think it will be in Australia for a while. By the sounds of it, it doesn't sound too bad.
    Hopefully it will come out sometime soon so then i can give it my rating. :eek:
     
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