Frodo has Failed

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We knew it all along...

Frodo has Failed

 

By all that is unholy, we are utterly doomed!

Can we contact gthe toothpaste makers in order to make the darn thing undone?

(No that is not spam, check your BotR!)

 

Now why doesn't that surprise me?

 

My god, georg W sauron did get the one ring, it is only a matter of time before he invades irandor and Rohaq

 

So does that mean that Bush acts in Lord of the Rings film as the Eye and big dude that sways his mace in the air and 20 elves fly away? woo! I want that ring!

 

Bush must have incredible willpower to remain in his physical form, instead of turning invisible.

And of course Frodo has failed. You know what happens in the books.

 

Faragon he is invisible. What you see is just a figment of your imagination

[ January 23, 2003, 02:57: Message edited by: Nobleman ]

 

MHmm... I thought my imagination would at least come up with someone with a prettier face. And boobies.

This makes me wonder who the nine are though... Cheney for example?

And I'm finding it particularly hard to see Iraq as Gondor.

[ January 23, 2003, 08:07: Message edited by: Faragon ]

 

Ahem, here in sweden the discussion has been more about another body part that the "eye" resembles.

 

Great link. Very clever.

Faragon, your ideal version of George W. Bush has a prettier face and "boobies"? Whatever gets you through the day.

 

Of course it doesn't mean that Bush is Sauron. He could just be a normal leader of men who sees the ring as a gift, a powerful weapon and an opportunity to smite evil. He might even have taken it with nothing but good intentions. Of course no one is immune from the rings influence and they eventually fall to evil themselves. Men tend to fall very quickly.

Hmmmmm this is sounding more plausible by the minute.

 

George Bush is a robot. Hasn't anyone noticed how he never blinks?

*The Twilight Zone music*

 

Jack, I said someone.

Bush with boobies.

 

hummm, Fortunatly the Silmaril have been lost for centuries, but that mean Bush is a servent of Melkor?! Quick call Iluvatar *he* will do something.... If yer lost READ THE SILMARILS!!!!!

 

This doesn't deserve a thread by itself, but was very funny.

From Dave Berry ... his take on the Two Towers ...
http://www.miami.com/mld/miamiherald/living/columnists/dave_barry/5023564.htm

---------
I finally saw the new Lord of the Rings movie, which is entitled Lord of the Rings II: A LOT More Stuff Happens. It's a tad on the long side (three days) but I am not complaining. My eyeballs were literally riveted to the screen, by literal rivets, from the moment I sat down until the moment I lost all sensation in my lower body.

Yes, this is a classic movie, the kind that makes you laugh; makes you cry; makes you wonder, over and over, if this would be a good time to go to the bathroom. Above all, it's a movie that makes you think about the issues raised by the plot, the main issue being: What the heck IS the plot?

I say this because it's a very complicated story, with numerous subplots and something like 11,000 major characters, most of whom have hard-to-remember names like ''Flagodirt'' or ''Grempkin.'' So today, as a service to all of you who were confused by this great movie, I present the following:

SIMPLIFIED SCREENPLAY FOR LORD OF THE RINGS II

(Scene 1)

FRODO: Darn! I still have this darned ring that I got in the first movie!

SAMWISE: The ring with the terrible power that causes everyone who comes near it to over-act?

FRODO: Yes! And to destroy it, we must walk, slowly, in real time, all the way across New Zealand!

SAMWISE: But who will guide us?

FRODO: How about a reptilian computer-generated creature with a bad comb-over?

SAMWISE: Dick Cheney's in this movie?

GOLLUM: Very funny, Hobbitt-breath.

(Scene 2

LORD ARAGORN: Well, my two trusty companions -- Legolas, the Strangely Tall Elf; and Gimli, the Comic Relief Dwarf -- in our subplot, we are pursuing Merry and Pippin, who have been captured by Orcs, and now we find ourselves in the Kingdom of Rohan, ruled by King Theoden, whose niece, Eowyn, will become my second love interest once the king is released from the spell cast by his trusted counselor, Grima Wormtongue, who is secretly in league with the evil wizard Saruman!

LEGOLAS: I have no idea what you're talking about.

LORD ARAGORN: Me either. I'm just reading the script.

GIMLI: Well, I'm really short!

(Laughter)

LORD ARAGORN: But enough explanatory dialogue. It's time for one of the estimated 17 big sword-clanging battles we have in this movie with hideous computer-generated monsters who always outnumber us by the thousands, although we defeat them every time, because we are courageous heroes!

LEGOLAS: Also, they have the hand-to-hand-combat skills of alfalfa.

MONSTERS: Arrrrrr.

SWORDS: CLANG! CLANG! CLANG! CLANG!

(Scene 3

MERRY: Well, Pippin, we escaped the Orcs, and now we are being carried around by talking trees!

PIPPIN: Apparently, the audience will swallow anything!

TREE: It gets worse! Later on, we engage in branch-to-hand combat! (Scene 4)

MONSTERS: Arrrrrr

SWORDS: CLANG! CLANG! CLANG! CLANG! (Scene 5)

FRODO: How come, if I'm the protagonist, Lord Aragorn has TWO love interests, and I'm stuck in a subplot with Dick Cheney?

GOLLUM: Maybe it's because your big hairy feet make you look like you're wearing a pair of dead weasels.

(Scene 6)

LORD ARAGORN: Well, Legolas and Gimli, with the help of Gandalf the White, formerly Gandalf the Grey, also known as Gandalf the Beige, we have defeated the Uruk-hai in a giant computer-generated battle. Now we must make haste to the Really Big Rock of Karambador, before the forces of Ba'Zoot, led by the evil King Weltpimple, conquer the Mullions of Gneep and obtain the Remote Control Unit of Doom!

LEGOLAS: Now you're just making stuff up.

LORD ARAGORN: Well, it's not as stupid as the kung-fu trees.

GIMLI: I'm still short!

(Laughter)

(Scene 7)

FRODO: UH-oh! The movie is over, and I still have this darned ring! Do you realize what that means?

SAMWISE: That ''Weasel Feet'' would be a good name for a rock band?

FRODO: Yes, as would ''Kung Fu Trees'' and ''Combat Alfalfa.'' But my point is that the forces of Evil have been let loose upon the land, which means soon there will be...

SAMWISE: No! Not that!

FRODO: Yes. Another sequel.

MONSTERS: Arrrrrr.

 

Very funny mathetais