Featria story (pronounced fay-tree-ah)

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This is just a few paragraphs of a book that I'm attempting to write. Let me know if I should dig in or give up.

Chapter One

DRAFT

"Hey Flinnian", said Belegril the local blacksmith. "How's life treatin' you?". "Same as always, Belegril", said Flinnian the local ferrier. Flinnian looked the part of a man that had had a hard life. One that couldn't afford many luxuries. His skin was a deep brown and his hands were rough. His hat was perched precariously on the edge of his head and his clothes were worn and soiled, but his eyes were happily blue. He had just come back from a rather profitable day in Evermeet, the fourth largest city in Faetria. He was tired, yet contented. He had made twice as much as most other days, yet half as much to please him.
As he passed the Smithy in his cart he glanced around. Everywhere he saw people bustling about, concerning themselves with their own mundane tasks. He'd lived here almost all his life. The only other place he knew was a small town near the Unseen Mountains, far in the south, but he was driven off when he was only a boy by marauding orcs. Shilton was a quaint little town about 5 leagues from Evermeet. The red shutters and painted doors reflected a preoccupation with appearances. Many travellers came through Shilton on their way from somewhere in the north to Evermeet. Appearances were important because Shilton's only source of income is travellers who need someplace comfortable to stay the night before travelling to Evermeet, for whatever business takes them.
Crossing the bridge that separated the Outside from the Inside (all the industrial shops, like the Blacksmith, were on the Outside, all the domestic shops, like the Baker, were on the Inside), Flinnian looked down the street to his quiet little home. As he pulled up, a stout young man came out the front door. He was well built, a hard life had seen to that. His blonde hair was strewn about his shoulders and his grey tunic was freshly cleaned. He was wearing a leather jerkin full of marks and scratches, but it was brand new compared to Flinnians. "Hello, Father", the boy said. "Ah, Darian! Just who I wanted to see." said Flinnian, "Help me with my things, please." As Darian was carrying the hammers, nails, buckets and stools of a ferrier into the house, Flinnian said: "How do you feel now that you're 21?" "No different, I suppose."

This is an extremly small part of the story. It is basically concentrating on creating the setting and characters. Belegril, the blacksmith is going to become a very significant character later. Please, any comments are more than welcome.

[ September 19, 2003, 05:09: Message edited by: Mystra's Chosen ]

 

Dig in!!

 

It is the first page of your book and it is good.
I should guess that in the actual book your descriptions will not be so rushed.

Go on, do it.

 

I'm looking to acutally write a book, not just a short story. I've made most of the cutoms and societies of a few races (Orc, Human, Elf, Goblins, Halfling and another race of Humans). I've also decided to put many lesser races that sort of mingle with the predominant ones (Trolls/Goblins, Centaurs/Elves, Wolves/Orcs). I really don't want to rush the character descrptions, and I also don't want to describe exactly what the character looks like. I want it so that a person can make up his own hero, therefore, I think, the person will be drawn into the book with a new intensity.