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Early Friday Funny

Discussion in 'Whatnots' started by Barmy Army, Nov 4, 2004.

  1. Barmy Army

    Barmy Army Simple mind, simple pleasures... Adored Veteran

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    Remove all ads!
    A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little
    perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, "Geesh, I
    wonder what happened to this Parrot?

    The parrot responds, "I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot."
    "Holy crap," the guy says. "You actually understood and answered me!"

    "I got every word," says the parrot. "I happen to be a highly
    intelligent, thoroughly educated bird."

    "Oh yeah?" the guy asks, "Then answer this; how do you hang onto your perch
    without any feet?"

    The parrot responds, "Well, this is very embarrassing. but since you asked,
    I wrap my weenie around this wooden bar like a little hook. You can't see
    it because of my feathers."

    "Wow," says the guy. "You really can understand and speak English
    can't you?"

    "Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse with
    reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics, religion, sports,
    physics, philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology. You really ought
    to buy me. I'd be a great companion."

    The guy looks at the $200 price tag. "Sorry, but I just can't afford that."

    "Pssst"...said the parrot, truth is, nobody wants me cause I don't
    have any feet You can probably get me for $20, just make the guy an
    offer!"

    The guy offers $20 and walks out with the parrot. Weeks go by. The
    parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of humor, he's interesting,
    he's a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes, and he's
    insightful. The guy is delighted.

    One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot goes,
    "psssssssssssst," and motions him over with one wing. I don't know if I
    should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife and the postman."

    "What are you talking about?" asks the guy.

    "When the postman delivered the mail today, your wife greeted him at the
    door in a sheer black nightie and kissed him passionately."

    "WHAT???" The guy asks incredulously. "THEN what happened?"

    "Well, then the postman came into the house and put his hands under her
    nightie and began petting her all over," reported the parrot.

    "Oh No!," he exclaims. "Then what?"

    "Then he lifted up the nightie, got down on his knees and began to
    kiss her all over, starting with her breasts and slowly going down...."

    "WELL," demands the frantic guy, "THEN WHAT HAPPENED?"

    "Damned if I know. I got a hard-on and fell off my perch. "
     
    Barmy Army, Nov 4, 2004
    #1
  2. Kitrax

    Kitrax Pantaloons are supposed to go where!?!?

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    :lol: Oh man, I almost spit out my Mt. Dew!
    *whew*
    That was great! :rolling:
     
    Kitrax, Nov 4, 2004
    #2

  3. Xei Win Toh Gems: 17/31
    Latest gem: Star Diopside

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    Wahaha! Jokes with innuendo are the best kind of jokes! :p
     
    Xei Win Toh, Nov 4, 2004
    #3
  4. Splunge

    Splunge Bhaal’s financial advisor Adored Veteran Pillars of Eternity SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!) Torment: Tides of Numenera SP Immortalizer (for helping immortalize Sorcerer's Place in the game!)

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    I just laughed loud enough to attract strange looks from other people in the office.
     
    Splunge, Nov 4, 2004
    #4
  5. Arabwel

    Arabwel Screaming towards Apotheosis Veteran

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    I sccared my cats when I started laughing :p
     
    Arabwel, Nov 5, 2004
    #5

  6. Abomination Gems: 26/31
    Latest gem: Diamond

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    Heh heh heh :) Good chuckle.
     
    Abomination, Nov 5, 2004
    #6

  7. Faraaz Gems: 26/31
    Latest gem: Diamond

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    ROFLMAO...Barmy, you're the best! :D
     
    Faraaz, Nov 5, 2004
    #7

  8. Lawless Gems: 6/31
    Latest gem: Jasper

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    LOL! Another from the joke king. Funny as hell.
     
    Lawless, Nov 5, 2004
    #8
  9. Shell

    Shell Awww, come and give me a big hug!

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    I'll never watch Animal Park in the same way again :lol:
     
    Shell, Nov 6, 2004
    #9
  10. Shrikant

    Shrikant Swords! Not words! Veteran

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    Damn :banana: That is funny :shake:
     
    Shrikant, Nov 7, 2004
    #10

  11. Rednik Gems: 21/31
    Latest gem: Pearl

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    Roofles. :banana:
     
    Rednik, Nov 7, 2004
    #11
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