CO-OPERATIVE STORY: 'Twas Midwinter Eve, and All Through The Place...

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OK, folks, put on your Santa caps of creativity and pitch in! The one rule is that you have to form a rhyme with the previous post. Let's try to skip limericks in favor of the structure preferred by Clement Moore (or even perhaps even Dr. Seuss ), shall we?

I've gotten things started! Who will be next to help save SP in time for Christmas?

EDIT - Here's one more rule: you can't write your own contribution! You MUST write about what OTHER SP'ers do to save the Place!

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'Twas Midwinter Eve, and all through SP
Tal strung up the lights as if on a tree.
The poll had been posted, the PMs all sent
So off to go shopping the Sorcerer went.
Then into the silence with a crackle and hiss
Came the horrible sound of things going amiss.
The circuitry blew, it couldn't handle the load!
And in the UPS backup, the batt'ry was blow'd!
The servers went down in a terrible crash!
All 'round the world screens went black in a flash.

The first one to know (she who's always online)
Was Ara, of course, and she...

[ December 11, 2006, 16:17: Message edited by: Rallymama ]

 

She arose to the occasion subline
And called on BTA our mighty admin
Who shouted "what a sin!"
Then raced to his computer to...

 

Then raced to his computer to see what was the matter
Was the tragedy true or just fictional chatter?
He quickly logged on, but to his despair,
The Sorcerer's Place home page wasn't there.
Then chevalier, Nakia, Rally et al
All logged on to nothingness - but where was Tal?

 

But alas, the power cut was widespread
and in the darkness of the shopping center
Did dear Tal lament
"Alas, my servers will be down, my subjects will scatter"
And an evil plan he did hatch
to capture back their souls

 

Capture back the souls, he said?
Souls indeed did he say!
Souls, not ghouls? But of course!
Souls and not ghouls on horse!
How could a ghoul even type?
Or how could a soul, for the matter?
Ccomes the chatter form the Inn!

 

Then Death Rabbit pulled up in an auto low-slung
Shouting "Pimp juice for all, yo!" and into a keg stuck a bung.
Into goblet and mug, the juice, it flowed free
When the Canadians joined our fair company,
Disciple and Beren! JSBB and Splunge!
Kuemper! Ofelix! Reepnorp took the plunge!
All parts of the world shared in the distress
And others came to help fix the mess.
There were...

 

those with weak beer (US and Canada) and those with strong beer (Europe)
And they all gathered round drinking by firelight
while Kitrax pondered the next computer miss-hap

 

He cleared all the spyware, quick as a snap
But the site was still down, it was still such a scrap
Said Barmy Army "It's all clear to me!"
"The thing to do at this time, is to blame the referee!"
"This isn't a sport", Nakia added quietly
"Everything is!" Barmy responded with glee.
But no closer to fixing the problem were they
It was time for......

 

It was time for Felinoid to awake from his nap.
He sprang from his couch to see what went awry.
"Whats needed," said he, "is a hardware chap.
He rose to the task and with MSN...

 

...Death Rabbit to jump to the fray! (with illustrations!)

edit - sorry if the top line doesn't rhyme...I was coming off of HB's post.

With juice in his cup and a gleam in his eye
D-Rabbit came calling with pork rinds and pie.
His efforts at fixing the outage was useless,
"It's only my FOOT that is lucky," he muses.

Yet fixing the outage was not in his plans
He'd rather stir pots in the alley's dark strands.
With a smart-ass remark and a sh*t-eating grin,
T'wasn't long 'for he landed in hot water...again.

"You're over the line!" said Beren, the mod.
"It's Christmas," said Bunny "Don't be such a sod!"
Beren said "the sticky is clear on the rules;
We mods need not suffer the protests of fools."

And Rabbit said "where is your holiday cheer?
I've been a good wise-ass for MOST of the year!
Let us drink egg nog, and eat of the cheese
And don't ban this poor lovely bunny, puh-leez."

And the cockles of Beren's cold heart went a flutter,
"Oh well, what the heck - it's Christmas," he muttered.
They merrily sat down for a helping of pie,
it's truly a shame...that poor Beren would DIE.

For Death Rabbit's pie was a fat-laden bomb!
Slaying poor Beren from artery clogs!
"My devilish plot is a hit!" cried the Bunny,
"Now I'll be a DICK, in addition to funny!"

He broke forum rules and he shouted "Good riddance!"
When Taluntain came in and said "Oh no you Di'int!"
With a flick of his wrist and a keyboardly tap,
Our Taluntain rammed a BAN right up his...

[ December 11, 2006, 22:58: Message edited by: Death Rabbit ]

 

...gap!

Well da Rabbit o' Doom didn't like that
and he spun right around swingin' a bat
Turns out the alphomega's quite immune to dat

Da Rabbit, now, he not be immune to de almega,
And soon Tal had him playing on a sega
What lessons had the Doom Rabbit learned,
As the pixelicious screen left his eyes burned?

 

Mean while Felinoid adjusted his hat and turned
with a leap, rose high in the air, called out
"Why or why is this happening?" Then with a pout
he called out Chev, "Where is...

[ December 13, 2006, 15:41: Message edited by: Nakia ]

 

"... the righteous indignation you so often spout?
Are you wired on coffee or mellowed on beer
That you, who has so much to say, isn't here?
We need you to mount up your box full of soap
And tell us that we mustn't give up all hope!
Ragusa is trying but there's so many links
That the others are lost in his political high-jinx."

Then Barmy stepped up, one eye on the scores
Said, "Chev, he be shoppin' at the religious-goods stores.
He and Gnarff went out hunting for Bibles and such
As gifts for us heathens - a nice saintly touch.
It's up to us, friends, to clean up this mess..."

 

Then a voice from down-below was heard, "I confess
I know nothing of surges, REM or RAM." the Raven spoke,
But it does seem to me we need to find what is broke.

Just then a high powered cycle appeared on the scene.
Twas DoTW who declared with authoritarian mien,
"What is needed is someone who knows technology."
So he strode to the server, went to work without apology...

 

But soon he got tired, the poor worn out lad
And slumped at the table, all sleepy and sad
"Give him some Ju-Juice!" said Nakia, a-flapping
"Some Stone-Aid and Fire-Cola, to stop him from napping!"

Once fuelled and fit, Disciple was ready
To fix and to tinker, and hold the rig steady
He worked and he worked, like a batteried bunny
Till a strange noise rang out, all tweety and funny

"What on earth is that sound?" Death Rabbit did moan.
Said Disciple "Don't worry, it's just my cool new ring tone!!"

 

And then the Dracolich strode in with creaky bone,
and sat back on his long tailbone.

Saying "If hardware is fixed, then software is needed,
oh dear this O/S is *expletives deleted*
I'll do my best and it'll soon be succeeded,
by something new with specs exceeded "

 

The Magister arived with a spring in his step,
with a sack full of presents for one and all.
With Mods and programs for the serious gamers,
and vireses insted of coal!

 

When old Sir Belisarius (Who'd been out for a stroll),
Returned to his desk like a head-achey troll,
"Panic not, all" said good ol' Sir Bel,
"Heh, not even you, my poor little Fel,

For even while Chev's buying bibles and sashes,
And Tal's in the dark while his whole system crashes,
And Beren and Rally, DS and HB,
Cannot find the answer, it seemeth to me,

That SP is fine, we're most of us here,
Will somebody go and get Sorvo a beer?
Just sit back, relax and of course in due time,
Tal will get home with his genius mind,

Sort out the server, the OS and all,
But now I suggest that we all have a ball,
Drinks and food and laughter and song,
And a Santa girl in a novelty thong..."

 

"Bah!", Dendri howled, seeing all stir alive,
"Chaos and misrule shall consume the place,"
"Should the girl of the thongs here arrive,"
"In chaos, however, I will lead the pace!"

And so it was, for worse, not for better,
That the girl of the thongs, oh so lovely and sweet,
Served only the former, but not the latter,
At the gate of the magic place her fate she did meet.

Woe, the malicious heart was not yet done,
The Rabbit of Doom's pimp juice it engendered,
In a plan - over to the sleazy den it spun,
To pilfer the stuff,
Tal's systems soon came unrendered.

The gifts were spoiled, Christmas seemed dour...

 

The gifts were spoiled, Christmas seemed dour,
When Chevalier would claim his hour,
Finally returned from the bible shop,
The evil demon he vowed he'd stop.

With bible in hand and prayer in heart,
The malicious heart's demise did start,
Faithful prayer in a forceful tone,
He 'fended the others and stood alone.

"Oh no you don't, you'll see that you're wrong,
And you leave alone that girl in a thong,
SP is yours and ours alike,
I'll show you your wrongs you mischevous tyke!"

With a wave of his hand and a bid to banish,
The malicious Dendri with a scream did vanish,
Leaving the lads and the girls alike,
To party and drink all through the night.

When to all's surprise, who should appear?...