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An apology.

Discussion in 'Alley of Dangerous Angles' started by Darkwolf, Mar 16, 2004.

  1. Darkwolf Gems: 18/31
    Latest gem: Horn Coral


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    [​IMG] Most of you probably will not care, but for some reason this afternoon I have been doing some soul searching and have come to realize that I have an unnatural hatred for socialism. This is probably a big "you’re kidding!!!!" to a lot of you. I know that I have been told that enough times that I should have started believing it before now. :o

    I think about my grandparents who thought that segregation was rational, and my parents who think that inter-racial marriage is a taboo, and realize that they are products of their environments. I have always known that their beliefs are not only antiquated, but just wrong. I also have thought about the fact that my teen years were almost all during the Reagan era, an era marked by open hostility and hatred of communism (at least where I lived) + constant re-enforcement (indoctrination :confused: )of the US as being the most free, greatest, and most correct nation in the world. I was also raised to believe that socialism is the kissing cousin of communism. When I think of socialism, I equate it with loss of the freedoms that have been ingrained as my rights. I already despise my own government for the overt role it plays in peoples lives, and see people like John Kerry as a threat to what freedoms we have left, but am I being no different than my parents and grandparents?

    However, many good arguments have been made today that make me question what is important to me.

    Sorry, I think I am still doing some soul searching.

    To the topic of this thread, I apologize, not just for today, but also for the past, for all the snide, unkind, and disrespectful (sometimes intentional, sometimes thoughtless) things I have posted.

    As I explained to someone else earlier, I have a weakness for playing the devil's advocate, and will take up the fight for something I don't believe in just for the sake of debating the issue. What I didn't admit to him is that when taking up a debate for something that I do believe in I have a tendency to go off the deep end, and close off my mind, another failing. I hope that this is the first step in trying to be more tolerant and open to beliefs that contradict my own.

    I am not asking for forgiveness, I deserve the scorn I have received, and a lot more.

    And thank you to those who resisted the urge to tell me to **** off. :o
     
  2. Judas Gems: 7/31
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    It's important to understand that the world is full of opinions, not truths. Don't be afraid of playing the devil's advocate - it's an excellent way to ensure you're looking at an entire issue, not just one side of it. I think arguing against something you actually believe in is a good exercise (I actually view the ability to do this as the mark of an open mind).

    Understand that you're only the product of your environment because you've been fed information and discouraged from viewing it in any other way that the way it's portrayed. All you have to do is apply your devil's advocate exercise to this information, and you'll likely arrive at a more balanced viewpoint. At the very least you'll gain an understanding of why people hold the opinions that they do.

    With respect to taking things personally, remember that when debating you're attacking opinions, ideas, and views, not their bearers. For example, don't confuse hating socialism with hating socialists. Sure, they might embody, to some extent, things that you don't like, but there's likely a whole lot more to them than just that one opinion. When debating, hurling abuse is just wasting words, as nothing is achieved except offense. None of this is meant as a reprimand, just advice (I haven't actually read any of your other posts, as I've been too busy to visit the boards lately).
     
  3. Malovae Gems: 18/31
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    I very rarely look at the topics in the Alley and never post there anymore so I have been unaware of your existence until I read your name in SS and the only reason I saw this is because of the topic name.
    I have to say that it is nice to see someone being, well, 'big' enough to apologise for any mistakes they may have made, and whilst I do not know what you have said - like Judas - if people are unable to forgive then I wonder why they are getting into debates which have the potential to be upsetting. I am still angry myself from the ridicule a new SP member is recieving in the ToB forum, but that is another story.
    Judas is correct in saying that we live in a world of opinions - many of which a offensive and hurtful to a person whose thoughts are aligned differently. Its just important that we try to listen to each other and offer a constructive argument against any given view, rather than shooting it out the water just because it doesn't fit in 'your' jigsaw puzzle.
    This was not aimed directly at you Darkwolf, and i admire that you had the guts to say sorry to those you have angered.
     
  4. Hacken Slash

    Hacken Slash OK... can you see me now?

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    s'cool darkwolf.

    You can apologize for your attitude, if you wish, but never apologize for what you believe in ;) .
     
  5. Erebus Gems: 16/31
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    "I may not agree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it." --Voltaire
     
  6. Dendri Gems: 20/31
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    [​IMG] I am hesitant to ask but:
    Darkwolf, has this apology anything to do with our little encounter yesterday?
    If so let me tell you there is really no need to apologize - even though I respect your guts and appreciate what you have said. And most certainly do not to ask for... forgiveness! At least not of me. :) (how silly I feel to even say something like this)

    While I felt that the post that made me confront you in the first place was to some extend aimed at getting under peoples skin, the response you gave to me was what you sincerely felt about this matter. I think.

    Hard times for your people and us Europeans. Its not that easy to know where to stand with our govs lying, manipulating and driving us apart.

    Hopefully I dont sound patronizing. (if thats the term?)

    If I had nothing to do with all of this I have just made an utter fool of myself and given myself away to mockery at your hands. I hope you wont do that.
     
  7. Darkwolf Gems: 18/31
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    Dendri,

    It wasn't only you, but you and a few others, and that is a good thing :) . I just realized that I am using a crutch that has been subtly provided to me over the years to close off my mind to certain points of view. I still believe in capitalism, and I still believe that socialism is not the best form of government. That doesn’t make me any better than or smarter than anyone else, and condescending and hurtful statements to people who differ with my opinion are only going to close their minds off just as much as me making those statements closes off mine.

    I appreciate your taking the time to let me know how you feel. You don't sound patronizing, and I hope that I would never make a fool out of someone showing such sincerity to me. I know that I have done that to enough people who are just showing sincerity to their beliefs. :o

    I will not give up my beliefs, but I am going to try to be more open-minded. I also am going to try to quit going to the far end of any discussion. I still believe that Bush is a better choice than Kerry, but what I didn't admit before is that it is by the smallest of margins. To be honest, I am not really even a Republican. My views more closely fall with Constitutional Libertarians that any one else, but I don't agree with them 100% either. I am guilty of taking up for Bush and not backing down on any issue - a pretty stupid way to try to reason with anyone.

    Thanks Dendri, and everyone else.
     
  8. Spellbound

    Spellbound Fleur de Mystique Distinguished Member ★ SPS Account Holder Veteran

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    Darkwolf -- Well said. And don't be too hard on yourself...it's a very narrow line we walk in these debates sometimes and very easy to fall off that line into the weeds. We've all been there. Cheer up! :D
     
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