A paragraph of my story "A Traitor's Cause."

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(Just to fill you in, Kate is now a mercenary and this is one of the many tales of her childhood. I like her character. This is mainly about her father.)

The man clutched his daughter by her armpits, he spun her around. Her laughter filled the air, the joy on her face. He stopped spinning and she stumbled around and around, laughing more.

"Stop the room, please. I'd like to get off." She giggled, she plooped down on her bottom and beamed up at her father. "Daddy, what's wrong with mom?"

"I dunno Kit, I dunno."

"Will she get better?" She asked as she jumped up and hugged her father, she smelled him. She loved his smell, she didn't know what it was, but if it were a perfume she'd wear it everyday. Even if it was a man's smell.

"I hope so Kit," her Daddy hugged her back, he let her down and turned around for a second. Kate brushed her hair with her fingers, a bit of her hair was wet. She looked up at the ceiling.

"Daddy the ceiling's drippin' again." She called, her father turned back. He was all smiles but his eyes were sad, Kate hated when his eyes were sad. It made her want to cry, it made her want to go hug him and tell him everything will be all right.

"Really? I guess I've have to fix that, will you help me Kit?"

"Can I climb the ladder?" She asked eagerly, he nodded and she ran outside, she couldn't lift the ladder so she waited impatiently for her father to catch up.

Her father's eyes were sad when she left for the army. A father who raised a daughter by himself, he would've been proud if he had a son joining the army, but Kate, Kit, Kitty, was his princess, his little baby. Her soft bounding curls would float like a brown little cloud, her face always smiles. What had he done? Had he done something to turn her to the army, and her facination with death. A bird had hit one of their windows, it broke it's neck on impact. Her father asked if she wanted to help bury it, she came out and examined it. She was amazed that life can leave so easily, that one hit and it's dead. She poked it with a stick, then turned.

"Nah, you can bury it." She scampered off, but that wasn't where she turned. It was Killmur, Freddy Killmur. He should've guessed that with a name like Killmur, he'd be bad news. Kate spent more time with Freddy than at home. Her father was worried she was getting into drugs or alcohol. He even worried she wasn't a virgin anymore, but they did other things that were worse. They fought, they shot things, they bought knives, and they got piercings and tatoos. Daddy went balistic, when she came home with no hair. He somehow found a bunch of her hair, he kept it tied with string, next to a photo of a woman. Mommy was lost, and to him so was she. The house was quiet after that, and after her graduation, she left. She woke up early one morning, Freddy picked her up. Her father heard her, she watched as her father, Daddy, chased them up the drive, his sad eyes had tears running down his gruff face. He yelled, pleaded her not to go. She told Freddy to go faster.

 

Very nice, very nice indeed.

 

It's a sad story already... good but sad

 

Well it's not all sad, her story is sad, but you always have to have a sob story in there. The rest of it is dark and mysterious, but not too sad. But thanks for the reviews!