Relationship Rant Thread #3

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At the risk of getting flamed... girls have that. She must be feeling justified and maybe even the feeling of happiness now gives her some kind of retroactive justification. I could break it down and analyse but who cares? You don't need a cheating lying little woman and you're better off now that she has another sucker to screw over. A law PhD who's also a therapist has told me there's been a study showing that female captive spies have an easier time dealing with lie detector investigations than male ones because they are more at ease feeling what they're doing is right and because of that they won't display the same symptoms as male captives. I've even read a semi-scientific (popular science) kind of article by and about women saying it's way more difficult for a guy to catch a woman cheating than the other way round. It's not like they will always find out and we never will, but it's quite close with some effort.

Another problem is the popular self-imposed obligation to be happy that we experience nowadays. People feel morally obliged to feel good and do what's more comfortable, pleasurable and generally easier and more rewarding for them. Sometimes they even feel morally obliged to put their demands above those of the other people in the process of achieving the paramount moral goal of personal happiness (as doing otherwise will make them suckers, something morally abhorrent, as everyone puts his own wants ahead first and foremost and those who don't grasp the concept are rightfully screwed over for their willing weakness - and weakness is the most deplorable thing nowadays, no?). You can see where this is bound to lead, I guess. People with that kind of mentality won't ever be happy. Comfort is the maximum of what they're going to get.

Cut her some slack, anyway. You're bound to screw up a couple of times yourself as well and I guess you'd like people to give you a fair but still compassionate treatment and move on without dwelling on it too much, so treat them the way you'd like to be treated if you had made the same kind of mistakes. Even if you haven't ever. No one ever knows. And no, I don't believe in karma.

 

I hear ya, dude. But instead of biting people's head off, I throw corrosive answers and rub the stupidities they say right in their faces. It's fun sometimes.

Anyway... back to the topic of your ex. Life has a strange way of making those who crossed you pay back. You'll see, it's always interesting to witness. Just be patient.

 

Aye, I'm not the one that's going to remind her of her mistakes. And now that she has another pawn I don't have to worry about it anymore.

Of course she's been saying things like "maybe some day we'll be friends and all" and "there's no going back to what we had, but who knows what'll happen after a couple of years..."

Meh! Now I finally have the feeling that I'm through with her for good, since for a while there was this nostalgia about it and that if she'd ever need me to be there for her I would. Not anymore ! That's why I'm quite happy about the situation in some sense. It's a liberation. I'm off the hook. No more trying to rescue that damsel in distress, all the more so since she's proven not to be one any longer.

 

Heh, buy a girl flowers, and she melts like butter... *grin*

 

And if she so does, another guy can melt her equally easily.

But it's always a nice thing to do if you're visiting or meeting a female friend, sure.

 

Only if she likes you

 

Damn right.

Ahh, to like or not to like... such is the question.

For blind fools such as myself, this is the source of many headaches.

This is life, I suppose.

 

Not much chance of that. I'm hawt!

 

Hmph. Full of yourself, are you?

I have some issues with my new housemate, but, err, nothing that would be appropriate to discuss here.

Ahh, yes, the syndrome of the savior. Well, it's better this way, I guess.

 

Wear a short skirt and I melt like butter...

 

Nope, I just mask my despair and self-loathing in an aura of arrogance.

No thanks, you're not my type.

 

I meant females in general. I cannot resist a nice pair of legs

 

/me throws a blanket over his

...Ah, you said females.

 

Let's get Freudian: My mom was a troubled woman when I was a kid, so this might explain a lot of me wanting to rescue women. But so, Cúchulainn, your mom has a nice pair of legs?

No offence, I just couldn't resist it.
Freud and his oedipus complexes...

Well, yes...I've always *cough* had a soft spot for damsels in distress...and incidentally I'm compelled to fight windmills as well. Maybe I've read too much of a certain type of literature

 

I'm sure my father thought so.

 

Ah so, there you have it then, it runs in the family...nature versus nurture dilemma solved again, in the favour of nature this time

 

I seen the funniest thing last night. A local chav, who looks like a giant vat of lard, dresses like a fool, and can't speak without saying saying f**k, c**t, twat etc is surrounded by good looking girls that apparently get enough of him. He doesn't have looks, smarts and (as far as I know) money, so how the hell does he do it?

Back in highschool I should have munched on more current cakes...

 

"Me Tarzan, you Jane!" That's how he does it.

It's sad how they get the popularity, but I tend to read falling for such type as a sign of a trait of the girl's character, so if she does have that trait, it's actually better that she falls for him instead of coming your way, no?

Men are ill choosers too. We tend to fall for those with the more public appeal, while leaving those with a more private appeal behind, if you know what I mean. If you don't, let me ask: Between a club fly in tight leather, with lots of cleavage and even parts of the bum in the open, who goes to the toilet with guys for a drink and makes you believe it's (almost) only ever been with you, and who will occasionally do that with other guys while being your girlfriend because it's "stronger than her", and a church-going modestly dressing girl who won't sleep with you (or any other guy) and won't even play along with the more crude advances from you (much less from other guys) but won't lie, cheat, blackmail, treat you or any person badly, make an idiot of herself while drunk or leave you without word... Just which girl will the average guy pick? Or even the better of us, which one will they pick? I'm sure the sexy one is going to have it.

This being said, you just won't normally find a grown-up, decent and self-respecting woman crowding around a guy with others. Think what happens when a bigger chav pops up. Some famous or otherwise popular people realise it only lasts until there's a higher-noted stud around.

[ November 10, 2006, 20:26: Message edited by: chevalier ]

 

You know Chev you're right. But it doesn't even have to be such an extreme example. Most guys seem to choose the extrovert. She deosn't have ot be the sexiest, loosest woman out ther. In fact she could be moderatly attractive, and never cheat on you - but she's the one who goes to the clubs, the big parties, has a large croud of friends, always has something clever to say, is always working her butt off for school or her job or whatever...this is the girl who bags most of the guys. But she is also the one who is most likely to tell you: "this isn't working out," because she has become bored with you, or you are not high-energy enough for her.
Then you have the more intoverted girl: the quiet one, the shy one, the one who dresses modestly in public, who does not put out. The one who has a passion for whatever it is she does, but was not an over-achiever back in school. The one who you can have long conversations with about raising a family together someday. The one who may be fiesty and passionate in bed, but wants to save herself for the man she loves. This is the girl who we men should be going after...but unfortunatley this seems not to be the case most of the time. Then again, mabye the people who are attracted to the first girl don't want serious realationship, but rather want to be part of a fast, high-energy sex scene. If thats there choice, then they deserve the first girl.

Is it obvious which type of girl I'm in a relationship with?

 

Extroversion can come with altruism and introversion with egoism, so the cheating/dumping calcs can go messy sometimes. Then if someone is less open about it not working out, the same person is more likely to cheat rather than dump you. Straightforward honest dumpers will probably be less inclined to cheat. I'm just guessing, but introverts might have it easier with confabulating and even lying - although it's not like talking skills aren't a part of an extroverted person's repertoire, an introverted person closed in himself, focused the same, knowing his or her reactions better, should probably find it easier to weave intrigues and maintain lasting deception. Even if it's extroverts who are more likely to smooth talk you or lie before they think. As for conduct, extroverts might be inclined towards high energy flings, but introverts could arrive at a friends with benefits arrangement, no? Similarly, extroverts could jump into a sexual relationship without feelings more easily, but introverts would find it easier deliberately to keep feelings out of it (or at least to make such a decision, as such things always get complicated). As for serious relationships... extroverts can be quite giving, organically so, to the point of wearing themselves out for someone. Introverts could develop devotion, intimacy, whatever. If you asked me about cheating, I would say extroverts should normally be more likely to act on urges, hypes, whatever, but elaborate seduction would more likely work on an introverted person. Extroversion connects somehow with flipping out, but introversion comes with alienation. And alienation is tricky. Looking out for number one, always being apart, you get the idea.

All in all, you can't say what's better for a guy in a girl, extroversion or introversion. I've had traumatic moments with both, hehe. There are many ways to arrive at the same good or bad effect, so I would look at more specific traits of character. E.g. an honourable girl with principles will be stiff and boring to maaany guys (no matter if she's extroverted or introverted), but at the same time the risk of being cheated on or lied to or even just dumped falls down. A hyper-entrancing person with a lot of feromone will get you into a sweet mindless bliss, but at the same time, the kind of general message that has been there will be there. But things can be like that with both a charismatic extroverted woman with tons of energy and inspirational power, and with an introverted femme fatale, femme mysterieuse. There are many things you can't predict just knowing if the person is extroverted or introverted.

[ November 11, 2006, 03:23: Message edited by: chevalier ]