Xithander's Three Painful Lessons

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Sigil, March 24, 1645
Xithander was left completely flabbergasted as he found himself suddenly on a dirty cobblestone street covered by various notices run astray from whatever wal they once called home. The young, yet zealous, paladin stood, staring at the street with terrified surprise. Where was he? Or, more importantly, how did he get there? Xithander had just been triumphantly walking home after defeating the seemingly endless sieges of evil forces, led by mustache twirling maniacal wizards when without warning of any kind he had been flung onto this street without means of knowing where he was. No doubt it was a trap set by one of the wizards he had fought earlier! Xithander found no other logical explanation. It was then that he began to notice some of the pedestrians passing him, and more importantly that among them were the foulest of vile scum imaginable, fiends! “What most tainted of devilry hath passed in this place?” The paladin wasted to draw himself into the shadows, knowing that none would spot him in his newly polished platemail. Xithander waited until the street emptied considerable as not to frighten innocent bystanders, then, he drew his blade and flung himself into the street and upon a peacefully passing Death Slaad.
“Die, tool of evil! In the name of the invincible force of Good I, Sir Xithander Jourdean Of The Order Of The Most Holy And All Seeing Eye Of Helm shall strike ye down with justice to aim my blade and honor to sharpen it!”. The blow was tremendous with the force of Good behind and yet the planeborn was unharmed, if slightly confused and angered.
Disappointed at the success of his first blow Xithander drew back for another , “Have at thee, evil fool! You do not know who you face, I am the light piercing through your void heart!”. At this the Slaad who was done being confused began to stifle a few giggles, after his laughing fit was through, he lifted Xithander in the air and with a mighty thrust of his lips kissed him. Our hero was knocked unconscious when the Slaad then dropped him to the ground and stomped away. This was the first painful lesson of the paladin.

After regaining consciousness Xithander, obviously calmed down a bit since his last encounter began walking, cluelessly around the district, barely able to control his burning desire to clear the street of the taint of fiends whenever one passed.
Then, spotting a rather decent-looking fellow with a long gray beard, Xithander approached and asked, with his most courteous tone , “Excuse me sir, but would you mind telling me what part of the Abyss we are in?”. After asking this question to a few others passing by the paladin managed to get himself conned out of one thousand coins in less than 2 hours. No small accomplishment, yet that is of no matter. Eventually he had caught onto the tricks of these thieves and tried to defend himself against one, only to be angrily disrupted and arrested by some fool in all red armour and a crimson helm for running about with a naked sword in hand. Xithander was, of course released a few hours later after donating a large sum to his captor’s lawful cause.

By this time, our hero had discerned that he was in a place called ‘Seejul’. He had been listening to the rumors in local taverns and on the streets. Just when it was beginning to darken outside, Xithander found himself in the Hive, one of the rougher districts of Seejul. Before he knew what was happening he found himself surrounding by a group of poor, helpless, and hungry children. They asked for food, and though they asked rudely Xithander conceded. The weak were to be protected were they not, friendly or otherwise. He smiled at one of them and explained he had no food on him at the time but asked if the children would like to be taken to an inn. They all agreed and just as he had turn his back, the first child struck him smartly o’er the head with a wooden club. While the paladin attempted to regain his wit from the blow he was immediately attacked by all of the other kids. They kicked and punched at him mercilessly, each qwith a grin on his or her face. Knowing he could not raise a finger to the harm of these children, Xithander flung himself into a nearby mudpit and cried for their poor souls, of course they were surely on their way to hell. The kids stole his armor, money, sword, helm, and his shirt. When they finally left him be he was wearing nothing but a pair of mud covered pantaloons. This was the second painful lesson of a paladin.

That must be the way of the planes, he thought and stood up out of the mud, still bruised severely and with blood flowing from his arms. Bloodied and bruised, he walked unsteadily towards the Clerk's Ward. Luckily for him the oily rain removed most of the crusty dirt and blood from his body, so the Hardheads didn't scrag him for filthiness, as they usually do to Hivers who try to walk into other wards.

During his time spent in taverns and such Xithander had heard much of this Lady Of Pain. He knew exactly what a Knight Of The Court Of Good should do about tyrants like her. He had to end the suffering of all the citizens of Sigil who were living in constant fear of her, they dared not even speak her name! Xithander was able to borrow a dagger from a corpse lying in a nearby gutter and marched his way to the Lady’s District. Once he entered a grand plaza he unleashed his dagger and yelled out a challenge for the Lady Of Pain to appear.
“Most evil of evil being, she who kills without reason, I challenge you to an honourable duel!”. After an hour he had gathered a pretty large group surrounding him. Whispering amongst themselves, surely they knew how brave he was, he was their savior. Another hour past and still no sign of the Lady. Xithander spit, unable to speak from all of his shouting. Tossing down his dagger he left, he would soon return, he would duel this cowardly Lady if it was the last thing he did. Just as he turned, She appeared, eyes closed. This gave Xithander just enough time to grab his dagger and throw it at her. Unfortunately for him, he never saw if it hit it’s mark for those cold, emotionless eyes opened just then and flayed the paladin on the spot. This is the third and final painful lesson of a paladin. They all lived happily ever after. The End.

[ December 01, 2002, 18:06: Message edited by: Xao^#ti 72 ]

 

It's interesting, but i will not read the whole story until you discover the use of paragraphs.

 

PDN? Would you be so kind as to enlighten me on the meaning of those letters.

 

Publically Displayed Name - AFAIK

Interesting story... to say the least

[Correct. Change it in your profile.] -Tal

[ December 01, 2002, 20:16: Message edited by: Taluntain ]

 

Regardless, it is still pretty good.