A Piece of my Poetry

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Can't you guys post anything other than a poem on death, sadness, or angry people. Do you even know how to write a decent poem that doesn't make you want to barf.

 

Rumblebelly, let's hear one of your poems.

Here's mine, now that the topic has been brought back.

A soldier in combat falls while killing well.
A million bullets did tear and slay him,
He wonders if he will go to hell.

Out on the battlefield he gives one last yell,
In scene that is dreadfully grim,
He wonders if he will go to hell.

His former comrades still run pell-mell,
And everything begins to grow dim,
He wonders if he will go to hell.

He will leave his former shell
And join with dead Tom and Jim.
A soldier in combat falls while killing well.

He fears an afterlife, or so I tell,
The soldier slaughtered not at whim,
He wonders if he will go to hell.

On a battlefield a soldier fell,
And chances of life were slim.
A soldier in combat falls while killing well.
He wonders if he will go to hell.

I know it sucks, but it was a school project.

 

Rumblebelly, it's because it feels so easy to write when depressed. I don't know why, it's a way of venting I guess, and somehow you just don't need to vent when happy

I think I've written 1 humorous poem, only one. It's in me native tongue though, so unless you can read danish it wouldn't make much sense.

 

Rumblebelly, Lokken is right. I have a very hard time writing poems when I am happy...or whatever you call it.
You just - sit there.
Try to write a poem when you are happy and see how it goes.
It sounds so -...unnatural.
It has no emotions, it's boring. Something you just rattle off.
About joy, about happiness.
No, I can't do it
When you are sad you can drown it or express it in many ways. I choose to write it down. In stories or poems. Or just texts.
Everyone are sad sometimes. If you read a poem that is sad you recognize the feeling that it holds. Because you usually have something sad in your life when you read the poem. Or you don't. That's the problem with happy poems. You can't always recognize the feeling in them because you dont have anything to be happy over. It takes a very special author to write a poem that makes someone else happy. Read a poem someone wrote when they were happy and see if you get happy just by reading it!
I dont. I cant. Seems so lame. So far away. But take a look at a sad poem. I can feel the hurt, the sadness or the hate. Cant do that with happiness. It dont rub off.

It don't

 

Hmmm.....I can write whenever an emotion strikes my fancy. Be it a sad or a happy moment. I wrote two in the very beginning when I started this thread, but I will post again, so as you might know.....it works even when your happy.

The Secret Garden

Lift me up on the back of a dream
So I may dance with a sun beam.

Shining like a stream of crystals
Pyrowetting with things that are mystical.

Summers of green winters of white
All play within my sight.

With a flick of my wand,
my imagination comes to life.

For my world shall never hold strife,
It is a place of wonderous delight.

 

Rumblebelly has a point, although it's rather rude to state it as "make you want to barf."

Poetry comes from strong emotion (or sometimes a unique insight). If the only strong emotion you have, as it appears is a common problem on this board, is depression or even suicide -- well, you've got so problems. It's fun to look back at what you write when you're depressed (I've written some incredibly biting satire and cruelties when in a depressed mood, but I don't share it). But it's not particularly helpful to yourself or entertaining for others, especially for others who don't identify with your feelings.

We all have highs as well as lows. I suggest that those of you who do have some poetic skills take the challenge that Tiamat took earlier in this thread. Write something positive. Think of a time when you were overjoyed by love or some sort of transcendant, overpowering feeling. Sit and dwell there mentally for a while.

Then write.

Don't tell people specifically what made you overjoyed. Tell them what's it like to be there. Hint at what happened to cause it. That way even if we've never been in the same situation exactly, we can identify with it.

 

This is my first try at any poetry, so any criticism would be welcome.

Joy

You are here!
Unexpected, unannounced
Yet you are here
My friend, my confidant
You are my laughter,
my happiness

I dare not blink
For fear that you will disappear
A conjured apparition,
melting away before my eyes
Like the morning fog before the sun
But blink I must,
and you remain

A radiant smile lights my face,
as I leap up to embrace you
We talk excitedly,
laughing uncontrollably
And I am content
For you are here
My friend, my soul
My joy