High school memories

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I see that you have never met real mental patients or seen what kind of treatment they get. Although psychiatric treatment is not designed as punishment I can tell you that it is worse than anything you might get in prison. You basically want to dehumanize mentally ill people. A pretty apt analogy is if a busdriver gets a heartattack, crashes and several of the passengers die. Is he guilty? Should he be punished? Why would diseases of the mind be any different and legally they are not. Now, there is a huge grey zone and anyone who committ truly vile acts is not completely normal but there are some quite strict medical definitions as to when you are judged to not be in charge of your actions.

 

If their condition is outlined in the DSM-IV then chances are they are not in control of their actions.

Im quite surprised at how the majority of people are posting how they were bullied for being 'geeks' or 'nerds'. I truly had no idea that this sort of thing actually happened outside of dramatized movie scenarios. Sure, I hear or see about the odd case here and there, but nothing like this. I was a nerdy kinda guy in school, with glasses and a reputation for being a know-it-all, but no one ever, at least to my face, made a thing out of it. The one time I was bullied for a month or so, and I wouldnt even consider it bullying, it was because I was the new kid at school who was proving to be a hit with the ladies and the 'tough guy' who could have easily passed as the younger brother of Vanilla Ice tried to fight me over it. He called himself 'Bizzyboner' Byron, or something, so I started calling him 'Bizzybutthole' Byron, because he just came across as being so over the top that he must have been gay (nothing wrong with them, Im bi myself). We never had a fight, but we nearly did, and it would have been quite fun to see nearly all of my class fighting against him and his two dweebish friends. This is pretty much the extent of my bullying. If anything, I was the one bullying the nerds and geeks, not my proudest moments, but I had to keep up appearances. I still remember though how I used to pick on the younger kids who would use the empty classrooms at lunch break to play with their Magic cards so that they would clear out and my friends and I could play 40k or D&D.

I guess it helped that I manged to live a sort of double life, on the one hand I was a brainy kid who knew a lot and liked computers, rpgs, and sci-fi and fantasy books...and on the other hand I was a DJ, a raver, took too many drugs and had bad grades from being super lazy. So I was uncool and cool at the same time...depending on my social situation. Like I had friends who could speak Tolkein Elvish whatever and friends who were into the latest DnB records or happy hardcore records, but neither groups mingled.

Too bad none of you who were bullied and picked on at school were at my school, only the brave, foolish and 'special' kids ever tried to fight me, and I would have stood up for you all.

 

Had to keep up appearances? If you "Had to keep up appearances" you were hanging out with the wrong group of people. You obviously felt bad about it, Why didn't you stop?

I had my share of bullying during High School. I was the nerd in school, who always had a book in his hand and sat alone in class and at lunch. I hated sport of any kind and refused to even consider participating. Physical violance was rare but it did happen, however the verbal abuse it what got to me. It also doesn't help that I am by nature a jumpy person and react badly to sudden loud noises.

After I managed to get one of the guys who was bugging me suspended for about two weeks it sort of stopped, but never really went away.

Yes I remember High School. Do I want to? No. It's a period of my life I wish dearly had never happened. Now if you will excuse me I'm off to read and try and forget the memories this thread dragged up.

 

Well the people I was hanging out with at the time were other nerds and geeks, but we were older, and we really really wanted to play 40k during lunchbreak but the younger nerds and geeks were always in the spare rooms playing their Magic cards game. I felt bad mostly about teasing and bullying the nerd and geek girls, some of whom I thought were pretty abh*. I dunno why I did it...I just never really saw myself as being a nerd or a geek, and at my school playing 40k or D&D wasnt geeky or nerdy. And since there was no sports at my school someone had to be the 'jock'...and it fell on me, being the tallest and biggest and hairiest kid.

*average but hot

 

We had a sort of hierarchy at our school. The junior year was quite hard but it allready got easier the next year. I took my share of the bullying but I was certainly not the one to be worst off. A couple of kids were driven to the point where they were forced to change school because of the hostile atmosphere. I never considered myself a major bully allthough some of the teachers seemed to think otherwise, and I still don't. I participated on the verbal abuse department but even that was mostly venting out my own frustration. I think the reason why the teachers so often focused on me is that they knew they were powerless against the worst cases and kenw that I was basically harmless and also because I spoke a different native language than the majority. Only goes to show that when it comes to the most disturbed kids the teachers are basically powerless because they fear these kids themselves, and not fully without a reason I might add.

I don't consider my high school year to exactly have been the prime time of my life, probably on the contrary, but most of that has to do with other things than school. As far as school itself goes it wasn't that bad.

 

Hm, I do not get it, I spent most the breaks during my first year of junior high sitting and reading in the corridor. I was never bullied or picked on for that. Reading this thread it seems this period scarred many people quite severely. I think it would suit you all if you tried to put it behind you, carrying grudges for decades is not a healthy thing to do.

 

No it isn't, and I at least largely have. Time has healed the wounds, though the scars will never fade. That doesn't mean we should sit back and watch as it happens to the next generation, though.

 

I work as a night watchman in places where homeless kids (18-23yo) live. Many of these kids have been released from prison/juvie/psychiatric ward and are under supervision & medication. I KNOW and SEE that the vast majority of the psychotics among them will never learn to behave themselves. If I were to judge them based soully on my own self-interest, then I should say keep it as it is, because it pays my bills. But for society as a whole, it's a bad thing that some of these nutters are being overcounseled, overmedicated, and underpunished. But I don't agree with a lot of stuff in the legal system. I could commit murder, show remorse, and they'd send me to jail. Then after just 6 years of playing computer games in my cell, working out in the yard, and getting a hot meal each day, I'd be free again. Right now I live alone and don't cook, have trouble finding time for excercise, and work a 40-hour week. These murderers get a better life in jail than I do as a free man, and that's what I object to. Remember, I didn't say 'send them to prison without any treatment', I said 'destroy them', which is way more effective in the long run.

This is exactly what I mean when I say that it's hard to describe yourself. You occasionally see yourself as both victim and culprit in bullying, and I have a hard time imagining you as a kid. As for a 'tough guy' standing up for a bullied kid: There's nothing more embarassing than a bully, who has been constantly ripping on you, to suddenly have a 'change of heart' and 'protect' you. Makes you feel both dehumanized and 'anecdotalized'.

 

They do not get released from the institutions until they are well, I have worked in one. We had patients who had been locked up for decades. Now, young ones are given a bit of leeway as there is still some hope about them but sooner or later they will get locked up indefinately if things do not change.

 

'TBS'-patients in Holland are ordered by the courts into mental institutions, where their particular condition is diagnosed with great expertise, and no medication is spared in their treatment. Every two years, the experts give the patients a new assessment, and if they decide that treatment has been effective, the patient can be released.
TBSer accidents make the news in Holland regularly, and if such a mistake is the cause of someone's kid being kidnapped, raped and/or murdered, then you can imagine the irritation felt among the population. It's bad enough that these useless, destructive people are slurping up the resources of taxpayers, but if we can't even feel safe in the streets, then what's the point of it all?
I don't feel comfortable with shifting the blame to the experts who released them, because they didn't commit this crime. They might even have done their job to the best that any human could, but inevitably made this misdiagnosis that resulted in release.

 

Being left alone is easier for some. In my case, however, I was probably the stereotypical nerd - scrawny, smart, glasses. The scrawniness part is what made me an easy target for bullies. Not that there were a lot of kids that picked on me, but it was the few that did who tended to be the focus of my attention.

And I'm not carrying grudges. If I'm going to be totally honest, I have to admit that, for better or worse, my teenage years shaped me into who I am now. But since I am now a reasonably successful married accountant (yep, breaking the stereotype with that career choice ), I think I pulled through it OK.

 

Oh yeah, I almost forgot... there was one perticular "incident" which showcased everybody who was looking how much of a demon I can be. I'm guessing this had *huge* repercussions on my bad reputation...

It was a regular day -- having lunch with my then-gf, discussing, joking, to sum it up minding my own buisness, then some idiot in one of my classes starts looking for trouble with me. Seeing as I just flip him off, he turns his attention to my then-gf, and dares lay his finger on her face. I absolutely snapped. I unhooked one of my wallet chains, jumped the table, and proceeded to whip the living crap out of him with a steel chain and choking him out to unconsciousness. The entire cafeteria watched as he gasped for air and watch the crimson stream from his mouth. Once he passed out, I let go, watching him fall face first on the ground, folded like an accordeon. I was promptly handcuffed by security and brought before the principal. I was suspended for two weeks.

The idiot knew I had been suspended, but ignored when when I was scheduled to return. The moment I stepped through the door... it's almost like he saw a ghost. I was asked to do a public apology to the idiot... *he* ended up apologizing to *me*.

Think I'm going to put my head in the freezer for a couple of minutes before I lose it and do a shoot that would result in an instaban for me. *Know* that I *disagree* with your statement with every fiber of my being.

 

You're scary.

In general, I wasn't bullied much. Yes, I was a geek, but I managed to keep that under covers. There's also the fact that I was exceptionally tall - some 180 cm already when I started highschool - so I've always been somewhat exempt. My computer skills was actually seen as fairly cool to most people in Computer Studies classes.

Being Asian I did get some comments about that, but (somewhat surprisingly) no racial-orientated bullying. In general I seemed to be regarded as alright by most. Ironically the most racially-infused comments I get are from my friends, particularly this one guy who later came out of the closet - proving my suspicion that he's always attacking people because he's got something to hide. He's quite a decent guy now. Looking back it must have been tough for him as well what with everyone talking about gayness and homosexuality and all, as high school kids do.

One thing I'm not very proud of is that I've been too eager to pick on other people to draw the fire away from myself - I did gradually realize this and begin to change, which I guess is okay.

And one major thing I regret is spending the last two years or so of high school almost exclusively with my girlfriend, which meant very little socializing with my friends. I'm still suffering from that now.

High school is such a fun place when you consider all the intricate relationship building that's vital to survival and to avoid being bullied. Which group do you make connections with, who do you hang out with, which parties you do and don't go to, that kind of thing. I was particularly skilled at MSN Politics.

 

I was by no means the tough guy, I was the big guy...tall and big, I just looked tough. I never bullied anyone in the sense that I made their lives hell, I would just tell them that their magic cards were stupid, and they should get out of the room so my friends and I could play 40k. It was never anything serious, I would never have laid a hand on them. I didnt even really need to. Also I used to hassle the teachers pets who sucked up to the teachers, those people annoyed me a lot.

As for sticking up for the bullied kids, well, I tell you now, my best friend since we were 7 was a short, scrawny, pasty white guy with glasses and braces, and today he is still a short pasty white guy with glasses etc. He was bullied to the point where he would go home during the day in tears often in primary school. If he wasnt a year below me I would have stopped it. Yet when we were in high school it all stopped because he was with me and my friends. No one dared pick on me or the people I was with because I had fought some kids and teachers and won. Aside from those times though I was a big softy.

I cannot imagine bullying like what has been talked about on here, I never witnessed it during high school, only primary school. There was no 'lets beat up the nerds' moments at my high school. Most of the intellectuals were hippy free-spirited people, and there was no prejudice or anything like that. I went to a laid back school were you called the teacher by the first name, and the classes offered cigarette breaks for anyone 14 and up.

If this thread was about primary school memories, well, I would be posting similar things to what has been posted so far concerning high school memories. Primary school was hell for me, I was picked on quite a bit by the other students and even the teachers joined in.

 

Splunge, you should have done more accounting classes. Just think how much cooler your high school days would have been then.

 

There's only a few people in a class that get bullied, and they are very incospicuous. Personally, I think my stories might come over as worse than my experience was. In the end of high school, I was probably the 3rd most bullied, and managed to not draw attetion from bullies too often. The most bullied kids were the overweight jehova's witness kid with the nosy overbearing mother, and the tall, ugly girl who was compared to a witch. I remember a friend of mine, who felt guilty about pestering that girl, so he send her an anonymous love poem. But the same friend also coaxed the jehova's witness kid into breaking my pencils, resulting in me giving the jehova's witness a bloody nose. It was something I really regretted, since if I weren't so cowardly back then, I should've thumped my 'friend' one.

I was a thin and lanky kid back then, and the bullying basically decreased when I started to fill out. Nowadays I'm a nightwatchman, a security guard who isn't even intimidated by the shady repeat-offenders who live in building I guard. Relying on myself has enabled me to see the positive side in my student job, and it resulted in me choosing it as a career after I graduated. Nowadays I play computer games, in a building with people that would make some of my old classmates crap themselves.
And although I like good company, my history of being bullied means I don't need company. I can't remember a sigle time in my life that I became lonely. I always have 2 friends in my life, that I have plenty of time for.

I think 'pestering' is a better word, because I was only annoyed by the way I was treated. 'Bullying' sounds more extreme.

 

My experiences were varied because I went to 3 different high schools, so I’ll break it down for each.
During my freshmen year (9th year) I went to the same high school 3 of 4 of my older siblings went to, I was on the swim and water polo teams…and I was coached by the same coach they had. I was in the “SOAR” program which ingrained aviation into all the core classes. I had the highest grades I’ve ever gotten, a team of friends I hung out with, and I was having a generally good time. However, because the area surrounding the school had diminished into something of a slum, the school had crime/gang problems, so we had 2 full-time cops and a few security guards on campus. Also, the school’s demographic was 95% Mexican…very racists Mexicans. I don’t know if I would have survived if I didn’t have the swim team guys to rely on for protection from time to time. Because I was a freshman, I got the typical hazing you'd expect from being on a team...but I took most of it in good stride. The Frosh-Soph (the lowest of 3 team levels...Frosh-Soph, Jr. Varsity, Varsity) teams I was a part of kicked butt that year, so we were spared the worse of the hazing...I hate to think what would have happened to us if we sucked.

After that, my parents moved to Utah…which has 3-year high schools, so it was like being a freshman all over again. I was a fish out of water at my new school…besides not wanting to be in Utah, the demographic was 90% white and 80% Mormon. By this time I had broken away from being Mormon, so I didn’t want to associate myself with them…not to mention that “Utah Mormons” are the worst kind. Before, I was a minority, which meant that I was kind of unique…but in Utah, I was just like everyone else. I didn’t get along with very many people, so I mainly kept to myself. The first year I was basically a loner. The next 2 years were a lot better…I was on the swim team for a bit, but quit for several reasons. I joined the VICA club and won a state competition, then competed on the national level. I spent most of my time in the wood shop, the electronics lab, and at my girlfriend’s house instead of being in the class I was supposed to be in…which explains several things.

My 3rd high school was an “Adult High School”. It was for people who never graduated from high school, and for “2nd seniors”…people like me who just needed a few more credits to get their diploma. I was there because I skipped 75% of my classes my senior year to be in the wood shop, and because the administration failed to tell me that they weren’t going to accept any of my credits from California because of the SOAR program I was in. They told me this 2 weeks before graduation…so there was no way I could have made an entire year in time. Anyway, I learned more in the 3 months I went to this place than all 3 years combined at my previous high school…and I think I know why: The teachers at this high school didn’t get paid. They were all full-time teachers at other schools who volunteered 2-3 nights a week. Because they *wanted* to be there, they taught with more passion, and as a result I learned more.

 

...WoW...
Sometimes you scare me DoTW.

 

Indeed he does, finger on the face, merciless beating with a chain. I think a trip or two to an institution could be useful for you. I feel sorry for that other kid and the fact that you got away so easily baffles me. The fact that you seem proud of this is even scarier.

 

If you enjoy having your freedoms curtailed, your privacy invaded, and living in constant fear of being anally raped, then yeah, you could say that murderers have it better in jail than free men.

joacqin:

Now why on earth would we 'put it behind us'? Our experiences taught as many valuable lessons. Perhaps one of the best I learnt was that lying, intimidation, theft, verbal/emotional/physical abuse are all wrong, *unless* you have the power and/or guile to get away with it, or are targeting someone who is deemed by the masses and/or authority figures to 'deserve it'. If you do, then hell, go nuts. Such a principle applies to my school'mates', teachers, communities, governments, military organisations, damn, pretty much every society on Earth. The mechanisms used by teachers and the principal to coerce students were the same techniques used by the police and governments to coerce citizens.

As for grudges, why do you think Homo sapiens have memory? One of memory's primary purposes is to record social interactions, remembering who are our 'allies' and 'enemies' so that we know how to treat them in future encounters.